20061230

Fun in Medical History

At this point in job training, I'm waiting for the doctor to get back from his vacation so that he can sign off on my tasks. Once that is done, I won't be needing an initial next to my initial after everything I do, and I can finally be placed on the regular schedule.

All of my coworkers and even the management are fun to work with, everyone who works there is quite friendly and welcomed me to the center. Occassionally they will mix words, but it's always in jest, and you can tell that it isn't really meant. Thus far management has seemed more like coworkers than a boss.

Although customer service still plays a roll in my job, it isn't the main focus, and the people who come in to donate plasma are there because they want to be there, rather than they have to be, which makes a huge difference in the attitude people have.

So far its been the second job of nine that I've held that I've actually liked going to.

I outrank my blogfather . . .

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is:
Emperor Andrew the Expensive of London by the Bow
Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title


As I recall, emperor outranks duke.

20061228

I'm worth $60.00

Here's the deal. You look it over the following list and see how many of these things you have done. BUT you have to ADD up the money amount along the way. Then post the amount that you are as the title of the bulletin. Example "I've done $00 worth of stuff."


1. Had sex: $6.00

2. Smoked: $5.00

3. Got drunk: $5.00

4. Went skinny dipping: $3.00

5. Kissed someone of the opposite sex: $4.00

6. Kissed someone of the same sex: $4.00

7. Cheated: $2.00

8. Fell asleep in class: $0.50

9. Been expelled: $5.00

10. Been in a fist fight: $3.00

11. Given oral: $5.00

12. Got oral: $5.00

13. Prank called the cops: $3.00

14. Stole something: $2.00

15. Done drugs: $5.00

16.Dyed your hair: $0.50

17. Done something with someone older (like a few years): $3.00

18. Went out with someone OVER 18 (if you were under 18): $4.00

19. Ate a whole thing of oreos: $0.50

20. Cried yourself to sleep: $1.00

21 .Said you love someone but didnt mean it: $1.00

22. Been in love: $4.00

23. Got caught doing something that you shouldnt have been doing: $1.00

24. Went streaking: $4.00

25. Got arrested: $5.00

26. Madeout with someone at the movies: $2.00

27. Peed in the pool: $0.50

28. Played spin the bottle: $1.00

29. Done something you regret: $3.00

Now add up and post as "I'm worth $(amount)"


The following people are getting tagged:

Blogfather Harvey of Badexample

Boudicca of Boudicca's Voice

Pete of Shakey Pete's Shootin' Shack

Sissy of And What Next

20061227

Update forthcoming

As soon as I get a chance to get to the library, I'll create a proper post about work, but until then, I can't write much about it, as I don't want coworkers to be peeking over my shoulder as I write.

20061222

Quite the Blurse

Blurse: A blessing and a curse

I have now started my job with Biolife, and I've finished with the initial reading, which took about two and a half work shifts. I am now beginning my observations, in which they observe me as I do the basic tasks, and help me to learn how they are done.

The good news about the job is this: I am the only male currently working in the medical history area, and all of my coworkers are attractive.

The bad news: I am the only male in the medical history area, and all of my coworkers are already dating someone else.

I am adrift in an estrigen sea, but there are definately worse places I could be . . . ;)

20061213

Which is Better?

So my friends, when it comes to acts in the bedroom (or elsewhere as the case sometimes is) which is better, lingerie, or just bein' naked from the getgo?

20061212

We'll take the Physical Challenge

I remember when I was growing up, a very special show that would come on Nick. I used to watch the show all the time, and then it got canceled. Double Dare was in my ever-so-humble-completely-correct-oppinion the best game show ever. Not only did you have to have a decent knowledge, but you also had to have athletic ability, and not be grossed out by slime, and the many ways that they presented to you on that show. Slime was Nick's trademark. If someone got slimed, it happened on Nick. No other television station used it. Shows like You can't do that on Television, Double Dare, What Would You Do? all had this trademark. Nick needs to bring it back, along with the shows the worked so well with it. I'll never forget Barf the chef . . .

20061211

The Willowbrook Ballroom

Last night, I and some friends took a road trip to the Willowbrook Ballroom for a night of swing dancing. Overall we had a good time, we met some people there, and I had a great time swing dancing, and even managed to learn how to triple-step without constantly going back to the swing step. Big help is not to look at your partner when you triplestep, but at the back ground, because you will get dizzy. The dance floor was nice, and while they didn't allow flips and other throw moves, it was kind of nice because I likely wouldn't have learned the triple-step if they had allowed them. It would have been better if there was a live band instead of just a DJ. It was a nice place compared to the places I go on a regular basis on Tuesday and Thursday Nights, but overall I would have to say that it wasn't really worth the trip.

20061210

Medical Historian

As to what a Medical Historian is, I don't really know. This is what Biolife says is the job of a Medical Historian. I'm not sure what it all means.

1) Comply with federal, state, local and company-specific regulations related to quality of product, employee and donor safety and to the proper performance of day-to-day activities.


2) Committed to meet customer service expectations, greeting donors as they enter and exit the building.


3) Answer phones within reasonable timeframe


4) Take and record donor pulse, blood pressure, and temperature measures and conduct medical history questionnaire


5) Take and record other donor measures to include weight, hematocrit, and total protein


6) Check all equipment used in the medical history area


7) Enter donor information into the Donor Information System (DIS) (where applicable)


8) Assemble charts/collection containers for donor floor.


9) Coordinate donors to donor floor and compensate donors at Outgoing Coordinator.


10) Respond to donor reactions


11) Maintains complete and accurate records, in accordance with cGMP.


12) Other duties and responsibilities as assigned.


13) Ensure general cleanliness of work area, donor waiting area and assist other work areas, as
needed, to ensure a clean and professional environment.


14) Attend monthly staff meetings.


15) Maintain orderly filing system, purging records as needed.

20061207

A Job and A Road Trip

I received a call this morning, in fact it woke me up, I was going to let it go to voicemail and go back to sleep, but the caller ID stated that it was Biolife calling. When I answered the phone, it was the manager on the other end, and she informed me that she was pleased to let me know that I have been accepted for a position at Biolife as a Medical Historian at a wage of ten dollars an hour. I went in and filled out the remaining paperwork, and then went down the road and got a drug screening. Once they get the results from that, I can start working for Biolife.

In celebration, I'm going to take a road trip with some friends down to Chicago and we're going to go swing dancing. Anyone in the area is welcome to come, information about it is below

NO JEANS OR GYM SHOES ALLOWED!!!!!!! Seriously, Ballroom's rules, so
dress up and have a ball.
$10.00 admission at the door

Willowbrook Ballroom, 8900 S. Archer Ave.
Willow Springs, IL 60480.

20061206

Final Interview

So I think I had my final interview with Biolife today, and it will likely take until early next week to here any results from them.

I still haven't heard anything from the Bank in Maryland, but I'm not too upset by that, as I don't really want to move there.

Either job is likely to be temporary, as my Uncle in Georgia may yet decide to hire me to work for his production company, but that's atleast a few months away, as there's some things that he needs to take care of first.

I'm glad I was blessed with patience, because I hate waiting.

20061204

Biolife

Today I went in and donated, and as I was heading to the holding area, which is the area that you go to before they give you one of those really nice almost beds, the assistant manager asked if he could give me the initial interview (after the phone call) after I finished my donation. After my donation I had the interview, and things seemed to go well. He gave me the typical questions that they ask in interviews and told me a about a few of the details that are part of a medical historian's job, and made sure I could handle stress. I assured him that after working for three years as a cashier at meijer, stressful situations weren't a problem for me.

I got the impression from the interview that he liked me and would speak favorably about the interview with the manager. I now look foreward to recieving a call about the third interview. I wouldn't be surprised if when I go in for my Wednesday donation they ask if I can interview after that. Here's hoping things continue to go well.

20061203

Movies and Jobs

I think I've been watching too many movies as of late. Thanks to Blockbuster, I can now take the movies that I rent from online, and return them at the store for a free rental, and free up my que right away. I've lost count of the number of movies I've seen in the last few weeks, and couldn't begin to remember the names of all of them.

My current employer continues to schedule me only once a week, so I'm going to be quitting this week as soon as I find a seasonal job so that I can continue to eat, buy gas for my truck, and pay my bills. You know, the luxeries of life.

Monday I'll be heading in to Biolife for the first of my twice a week donations, so I'll see if I can talk to the Manager that hires people while I'm there. My interview with the bank in Maryland the name of which escapes me still went well, and I will likely get a call back from them at some point, though I'm hoping to stick around Michigan for a little while longer.

20061127

Another Possible Job, This Time No Girlfriend

I recieved a call from Biolife, which is a company that pays people to come in and donate plasma. I had been interested in getting a job there, and turned in an application about a month ago, but never heard from them. Today during the 4 o'clock episode of Friends, they called me and did an initial interview, and will be getting back to me about coming in for an interview. Pay starts at $10 an hour, so it would be a nice job if I could get it full time.

Looks like I might have to make a decision or two in the future. It'd be nice to have options for once.

The common cold

If you're going to get the cold anyway, you may as well make out with a girl that has it. Unfortunately, all I did was sit across from her.

20061125

A Job and a Girlfriend?

My mother has conspired with her friends at the bank she's a member of to set me up with a job there. There also happens to be a single girl who works there, and they've also conspired to get us together. I visited the family in Maryland for Thanksgiving, and also turned in the application for the bank. The girl was on vacation, so I didn't meet her, but I did meet my mother's firends, and they seem very nice, despite their teasing me and all agreeing that the girl would like me. I flew back home later that day, and after I landed in Michigan, I recieved a phone call from my mother that the bank had called, and wanted to know if I could come in for an interview that night. I'll be flying out to Maryland again this coming week, for the interview.

In other news, strife with the manager continues, as he only scheduled me one day this coming week, and its a Tuesday PM shift. I'm not happy about that, but atleast I'll be able to go swing dancing right after work.

Ravencroft is lame.

Actually, he's not really lame. I just felt like being inflamatory. Although, analyzing his name I can't help but picture his head on Laura Croft's body... and that scares me.

Figured I'd post at random here, since Mesuir Ravencroft was so kind as to update. I actually can't find the last post I made here, so it must have been forever plus a day ago. Anywho, on with the post.

I believe I had mentioned here before that I was selling Aflac insurance. I had a really rough start with it, but I've actually improved as I've been going. Trouble is, the money is not coming in as fast as I had hoped or needed. Although I've seen people make good money and do well at this, I'm not going to be able to continue doing this full time any longer. I've started refreshing my resume and looking for a job, but all is not a loss. My speaking skills have seen a decent improvement, which happens after a thousand or so approaches to businesses. I'm also better organized than before.

Because of the situation, it does look as though I'm going to need to sell my house and move back to the city (Dearborn). It's really odd just driving by homes in the city and seeing the backyards. Now I'm not in the country where I'm currently living, but I could probably fit my house 4 times on my property and still have room between them. I'm not sure I could fit a house in the city twice on those lots. Another odd adjustment will be the noise. After living in Caro for 5+ years, I've become quite accustomed to the quiet. My mom lives about 4 blocks from the freeway, plus Metro planes fly overhead occasionally and that's just freaking loud! I don't quite remember it being so damned noisy.

So for now I'll just have to hope that things work out. It's going to be rough if we have to move everything and everyone back. Plus, I won't have my own home again. Trying to stay positive though, but it's not always easy.

20061121

Issues with a Manager

This week, I decided to go home for Thanksgiving, so that I could be with my family. In order to do this, I had to take time off of work. When I first started working for the company, it was established that I wouldn't be working Tuesday PM. The days I asked off for were Wednesday, Thursday and Friday (11/22-11/24). My parents then set up my flight for me, which had me flying out of Grand Rapids on Tuesday. When I recieved my schedule for the next week, my manager had scheduled me Tuesday @ 12 pm.

I sent an email the day I recieved my schedule (it comes via email) and then called on Friday when I hadn't heard back from him, and he told me that he hadn't gotten my email, but that he would work things out. Today I recieved an email reprimanding me for not also asking for Tuesday off. In the past, he had scheduled me to work Tuesday PM, and since I didn't have anything I needed today, I worked the shift and then rescheduled the things I did that day to other times. I then sent an email reminding him that Tuesday PM I wasn't supposed to work.

Everyone says that Mike is a great boss, is my definition wrong?

20061117

Moving

Well, it looks like I'm going to be joining the rest of my family. Currently I'm the only member of my family that is north of the masen-dixen line. Trying to find a decent job in Michigan (that pays well with good hours) is similar to trying to find a virgin in a house of ill repute. By the looks of things I'll be heading to Maryland, which is located close to a few other states, and the capital of this great nation.

20061107

Last Day Fun

So I figure enough time has passed (two months), and I can share this now.

On my last day at Meijer, I had a lot of fun.

The first thing I did was arrange in advance that I would be on U-scan. This is where the fun begins.

As a cashier, I'd been running the U-scan for two and half of the three years that I worked for meijer, so I learned a lot from the guys who would come and fix the machines. One guy didn't like to be called all the time, so he gave me the username and password, as well as showed me how to do some basic maintenance. Also at my desposal are a fair amount of computer skills.

By searching through the files on the computer at U-scan one day, I came accross network connections, and noticed that all of the lanes are connected to eachother through the U-scan.

On my last day, while at U-scan, I had previously called a radio station and requested the song: Take This Job And Shove It as well as arranged with a coworker in the back to set the radios to that station, and then broadcast it over the PA when the song came on. I waited for the song to start up over the PA, and then proceeded with my plan. I went back through the computer and located the network connections button, and then proceeded to shut down the network. I watched the expressions on cashier's faces as computer after computer started to malfunction. I then walked off the job. The service team leaders still aren't sure what happened.

20061103

No Longer a Moderate

I used to consider myself a moderate, because there a some issues where I take the left's stance, and some where I take the republican view. However, with this election campaign, the left has just been ticking me off.

Their defeatist attitude about the war in Iraq, the fact that they can't give a straight answer to any question that matters. Rather than take responsibility for their mistakes, they blame it on anyone or anything that had even a remote connection to what happened. Rather than talk about the issues, they run a smear campaign against their opponants, forcing them to respond. In one instance, with the governor race here in Michigan, Granholm keeps pointing out how DeVos laid off a lot of jobs in Michigan and invested $200 million dollars in China. Well, first of all, it isn't DeVos' job to give people jobs. It's his job to make sure that the company he's running does well. Second of all, if he had kept those people here in Michigan and didn't invest his money in a factory in China, the company would have ended up having to lay off even more people, or might have failed, which would have placed more people in unemployment.

So if I'm not a moderate, what am I? I'm a conservative. I vote republican. I am pro-life, anti-control (pro gun education), for lower taxes, for the death penalty, and proud of it.

How can I be against abortion and for the death penalty? Easy. An unborn child hasn't killed anyone. When you have the intention to take someone else's life, and you act on that intention, whether you suceed or not, you forfeit your own right to life.

20061030

Michigan, and why I'm still living here

I had been trying to figure out why I remain in Michigan when I don't really want to be here in the first place. When I think about it, there isn't anything really going for me here. I have a job that I like, but it doesn't give me enough hours, and I'm starting to hate my boss. I have a few people that I call friend, but none of them are close enough to me that it would be a good reason to stay. I spend the majority of my time by myself, and I like it that way, I don't need to be surrounded by a lot of people, and when I am, I switch to observation mode. I don't have any romantic interests, and I constantly long to just take off with no set destination in mind.

So why remain here? I stay because there are some things in my life that I need to figure out, and it feels like it would be running away if I left. If I had a career waiting for me if I should leave, that would be a different story, but right now I don't, so I can't leave without feeling like I'm giving up. One thing I've never done is give up (unless refusing to do so would violate my integrity in other areas).

20061027

The Haunt

Last night I had the chance to check out one of Grand Rapids fall attractions, The Haunt, with friends DJ, Bethany and Joel. Its basically a haunted house, and I gotta give the people credit for doing an amazing job with decorations and costumes. However, I can't say that I found it scary, so I was a bit disapointed by that. The highlight of the night was that I knew one of the guys that worked there, and he either already knew who Bethany was, or I had mentioned her when he asked if I was planning on going to the Haunt (he got me VIP tickets for $10 instead of $20.) So I think Bethany got pretty weirded out by that. DJ didn't catch on to it until the guy mentioned his name as well, or atleast he didn't seem to. Another good part was where they had a platform that you had to walk over to get through a revolving tunnel, which completely messes with your sense of balance. It was a funy experience, but I was really hoping to get scared. I guess part of the fun is taken out of it if you know that you won't come to any harm. Maybe they could change that in the future . . .

20061025

Swing Dancing and Work

So my job with 7up is very physically demanding, as is swing dancing. On days where I don't have both, I can easily handle one or the other. Today my body is very sore and fatigued, and I'm going to be attempting work and swing for the next couple of days, so by Friday, I likely won't be able to move from my bed. I owe myself atleast 48 hours of make-up sleep, but we'll see if I manage to pull that off . . .

20061023

I'm Sorry! Really I am!

Its been a two month unnofficial hiatus. I really did mean to post sooner than this, but I kept putting it off. I'm going to have to start writing stuff at home, burn it to CD, then bring it to the library I guess. I'm going to try and make up for it now by sharing an addictive game with you:

the game is called line rider, and the concept is simple: draw at a downward angle, and then press play to watch someone ride the line. Then add jumps, try for backflips and front flips, try a loop de loop (harder than it sounds) then show it off to a friend.

http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/40255643/?&q=line+rider&qh=boost%3Apopular+age_sigma%3A24h+age_scale%3A5


Swing dancing has been going great, and I've begun teaching novices the basic steps, and the flips and airials that I know really well. If you're ever in Grand Rapids, come downtown and check out the swing club at 800 Monroe.

20060828

7-up

As you know from a previous post, I got a job recently working for 7-up as a merchandiser (read: glorified stock guy). Now that I've been there a few weeks, I've got a good idea of how the job works (okay so it isn't rocket science). However, the main thing is that I actually like my job. Yeah, there is some hard work involved with it, mostly heavy lifting, and counting (okay, that part isn't hard) but its actually enjoyable, and when I get done with work, I feel like I've actually done something productive, which is a feeling I never got when working for Meijer (read: Hell on earth) In some ways it's like I'm getting paid to be a member of a gym, and between that and swing dancing, I'm getting into shape again pretty fast.

20060821

Straight Outta Lynwood

"I thought you all might be interested to know that I am going to WORLD PREMIERE the first single from "Straight Outta Lynwood" on MySpace.

Right here on this page.

August 21. 6 PM Pacific, 9 PM Eastern.

And I'll even make it a free download.

Have fun!"

- Weird Al Yankovic

Weird Al's new album hits the stores 09/26/06 you can preorder the CD at his website: www.weirdal.com.

20060728

Leaving hell, hoping never to return

So finally, after three years at a job that I despise, I've managed to find a new job, and will finally be leaving Meijer, never to return. I will now be working for 7-up/American bottling group, stocking the shelves and coolers at stores. Pay is a lot nicer, and I also get paid compensation for gas milage. I'll still be working at Meijer, as well as a few other stores, but I'll no longer have to answer to management or customers there.

20060723

Union Steward

Well, I've done something completely unnexpected, I've become a Union Steward. This is unexpected strictly because I hate unions. I think that in the past there was a place for them, but now that we have laws protecting workers, they ultimately serve no purpose. So why become a steward? for the power. In certain situations, I have as much authority as management. Also a perk is that every christmas I get my union dues back. So that's about the only perk I have at work anymore, other than finally getting vacation time after 3 years. I'm still paid less than 7 an hour, and I need more than that to survive.

20060718

Swing Dancing and Renaissance Festivals

Recently in my post-loss of internet life (how I miss easily accessing it anytime I want) I have taken up swing dancing. While I am still in the process of learning, it has been the most fun that I've had in quite some time.

This past Saturday, I had the chance to go to a Renaissance Festival. Unfortunately, I had to work. So I went to the Ren-fair, and when I got there, I called into work to inform them that my truck couldn't get me in to work today. This was a true enough statement, as my truck was at the time 2 hours away from me. That settled, I set about enjoying the fair. The first thing I did other than checking out the various swords and armor was to have my friend DJ arrested for sullying the name of a woman. He in turn had me and a friend arrested in his stead. And she and I had to dance and sing our way out of prison, after which I had DJ arrested again, and paid a small bonus so that he was forced to sing and dance to get out. However, he decided that this time he should run for it, and did so, finally getting caught because he ran down a dead end path. Next we went and checked out the various birds of prey (unfortunately we never got around to seeing a demonstration) and then proceded to the Ric Rac Dumb Show, essentially a guy making a complete fool of himself. Almost everything at a Ren-Fair is interactive, and I was called upon in the audience to help him get a ball out of his mouth that he was "stuck" there. I misunderstood what he meant by his hand gestures, and asked if he wanted me to punch him in the stomach-- to which he informed me by his behavior was not the case-- he wanted me to do the heimlich maneuver. The show was quite fun. The next event we went to was the Pirate Shanty and The Bonnie Lass, which I ended up going to a total of three times, as I enjoyed it quite a bit. However the best event was the Drench a Wench/Soke a Bloak. Those who dressed up for the fair were allowed to participate in getting soked, which DJ and I did, as it does get quite hot wearing period clothing. In this event, you are given three sponges to throw at the opposite sex. In thanks of getting soked, the guys hug the girls that soked them, and the girls kiss the guys on the cheek. The festival was great, and I'm looking forward to going to the Holly Renaissance Festival on September 2nd. Actually, I wouldn't mind being a participant in them and performing, and doing that for a living.

20060706

internet lacking

no internet for a little while. not that it affects this blog too much . . .

20060703

Time Loops (History Repeating)

Its odd, but the girl that I found myself attracted to most recently is becoming very similar to a girl that I was interested in in the past. Last time it ended badly, and I really don't want that to happen this time, but it's as if I'm walking a pre-established path. The path is headed straight for the executioner's block. I struggle against my bonds but I am unable to break loose of them. As I near the platform, I struggle harder still, and finally the executioner comes into view, his face covered by a hooded cloak. When I reach the platform, I stumble and fall. Hands pick me back up, but they are not comforting hands, but the hands of one that doesn't care. A hood is placed over my head and I can no longer see. Despite this, I can hear soft twang of the axe being freed from the executioner's block. I'm forced to kneel, with my head on the block, and I feel the axe briefly touch my neck as the executioner lines up. I hear a grunt as he raises the heavy axe. All the while I struggle to break free of my bonds. I hear the whistle of the axe as it falls, craving my blood. I find myself in the third person, watching my head fall onto the platform, the executioner's hood is thrown back, and the face I see is my own. I don't know how to break free of this path before its too late.

20060629

This seems expensive for something that is basically a bunch of leftover wire.

and a whole load of technology here is waiting for your to view.

just to touch on a few of the items:

In Japan, they've released a credit card sized phone. I don't know why people keep wanting cell phones that are smaller. A smaller phone is easer to lose. Personally, I'm happy with my razr. I thought about getting the slivr, but I prefer flip phones, as I've seen people call numbers by accident too many times, only to hear a faint disembodied voice coming from their crotch region.

Available at Amazon is an ice cream maker ball. This seems interesting, and if I liked ice cream enough, I would probably get it. You place the ingredients inside the ball, and then bounce it around for twenty minutes, when your done, you have ice cream. Before your done, you have a 7lb ball of death that I'm sure you can find creative things to bounce it off of to get that "special" flavor of ice cream . . .


here's also a remote control golf ball, which I'm sure you can imagine the uses for right away (just don't let someone tee off on a par 3 . . .) how many points do you knock off for a hole in none?



For those of you who just can't figure out what your dog wants or how their feeling, go buy a different pet! Or you can buy a doggie translation device, which tells you just that. Frankly, I find it a waste of money, as dogs, being dumber than man are quite easy for anyone to understand.



Mr. T and Burt Renolds have lent their voice to TomTom's navigation company. "I pity the fool who can't find his way without asking directions!"

Finally, there's a model tornado available for purchase. For only $204.00 you can have your very own tornado sitting right on your desk. No word as to the liability if there should be a sudden power surge, quickly creating a class 5 tornado in your office building, ripping your latest project to shreds moments before the deadline and at the same time killing off your secretary . . . but it looks nifty!

There are many more gadgets for your viewing pleasure at that site, so go check it out.

20060625

Parakeet Issues

Well, for a while now, I've owned a parakeet. It used to be two, but one died, and so for a month or two it was just the one. Well, recently I noticed that the one parakeet has started shedding more than she should, including some blood feathers. I'm hoping its merely depression, as I've bought a new parakeet to be her companion.

The newest edition seems more content to either fly around the room or perch on me, where as the other two prefered the cage. I've decided to let my parakeets keep their wings, as its more fun watching them fly around the room, and easier to train them to do arial acrobatics if they can fly.

Today, I came across a rather funny comic, which you can view here.

20060623

If Star Wars was a Porno . . .

I'm pretty sure it'd look something like this.


Personally, I think there's something wrong with a guy who needs to use a dildo for any reason. Now if it was one of these, I could understand, provided it was for use with a female in conjunction with a ball gag and a leash.

Let me further state that I'm glad I no longer attend Cornerstone University, as I would have a hard time explaining any of this to the IS department when they recieve the flags for everything I was looking up in order to do this post.

20060622

Random Sappyness

Speak Softly Love by Andy Williams

"Speak softly love and hold me warm against your heart
I feel your words, the tender trembling moments start
We're in a world, our very own
Sharing a love that only few have ever know

*Wine coloured days warmed by the sun
Deep velvet nights when we are one

Speak softly love so no one hears us but the sky
The vows of love we make will live unitil we die
My life is yours and all because
You came into my world with love, so softly love"

20060619

Embeding flash

okay, I've figured out how to embed flash files in my posts-- does anyone know how to keep them from starting/repeating on their own? I have no trouble on flashes that come with the appropriate code, but what do i do with the ones that don't?

20060618

How Jedi Are You?


how jedi are you?
:: by lawrie malen

"50 things about guys" with comments by: The Reverend Andrew

1. Guys hate "sluts."
Well, hates kind of a strong word, but I definately wouldn't seriously date one.

2. "Hey, are you busy?" or "Are you doing something?" ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.

I've never used either of those lines on the phone

3. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

The most important things are the things we think about just before we go to sleep, depending on how many there are, we may not sleep that night. (pretty sure this is why I don't sleep much)

4. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're gonna say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.

I don't plan it out, I prefer to make it up as I go, yeah there will be pauses, but so what?

5. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.

If he cares about the girl, he could be having the worst day ever, and her smile will make whatever bad stuff happened fade to nothing.

6. Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him.

eh, I do stuff just to do stuff.

7. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest. Unless they're goin for the let-her-complain-to-you-and-then-have-her-realize-how-wonderful-and-nice-you-are method.

Actually, I don't mind hearing about it, but its not something I want to talk about constantly. I'd like to know you have more of a life than who you're dating or who you dated.

8. A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.

I just want her to feel that she can come to me about anything.

9. Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they're still loved.

guys aren't as secure as you think we are.

10. Don't talk about your guy friends to your boyfriend.

I don't mind actually, unless its a guy I don't trust. Hang out with whomever you wish, but if I don't trust them I don't really want to hear about it.

11. Guys get jealous easily.

It depends on the situation, and how serious the relationship is.

12. Guys are more emotional than they'd like people to think.

I definately have a pretty good poker face when I try.

13. Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh...nevermind.." would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And he'll assume he did something wrong and he'll obsess about it trying to figure it out.

depends on how she says it.


14. Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.

not always the case

15. Guys hate asking parents for money to buy girls presents. So they come up with ideas like saving their lunch money for a week. But it never works because guys are always hungry so they end up asking the parents for money anyway.

I've never asked my parents for money so I could get a girl something. I had this lovely thing called a job

16. Girls are guys' weaknesses.

17. Guys are very open about themselves.

depends on who I'm around. If I'm around the right person, I'll volunteer the information. Otherwise they have to ask, and then I'll only give the most basic information.

18. It's good to test a guy first before you trust him. But don't let him wait too long.

This is true about anyone

19. Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend.

This doesn't mean we like you any less.

20. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.

not always the case. But if we want your advice, then we trust you a lot.

21. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.

I'm just a tease, doesn't mean I like the person beyond friendship.

22. Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your relationships.


23. Guys will brag about anything.

If you've done it and there's a witness, it ain't bragging.

24. Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls. We rarely use beautiful. If a guy uses that, he likes you.

I've only used the word hot to describe a girl that is temperature hot. I use words like attractive or pretty.

25. Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl does, even if she doesn't notice it can make the guy think about it for hours, trying to figure out what it meant.

Where as girls seem able to do more than one thing at once, guys seem to be able to think about more than one thing at once. When a girl does one small thing, a guys entire mental energy will go into trying to figure it out-- which usually leads to burn out

26. Guys seek for advice from girls not other guys. Because most guys think alike, so if one guy's confused, then we're all confused.

not always the case

27. Any guy could write out a rulebook or advice book for flirting, but no guy can write out a book about relationships.

I know several who cant do either, or can do both.

28. Try to be as straightforward as possible.

29. A guy has to experience rejection, because if he's too-good-never-been-busted, never been in love and hurt, he won't be mature and grown up.

30. If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl, he will think about it for the next couple days or until the next time he spends time with the girl.

31. I didn't like this one, so i took it out. Though true it was. **Nomi's note: Just a typical guy thing, taking out the bits they don't like. Haha.

32. Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read and take as their basis of experience.

I've learned from both, I know some who don't learn from either.

33. Guys worry about the thin line between being compassionate and other things. (being a wuss)

34. If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back, he's probably faking it and is spazzing inside.

sometimes true, not usually the case for me.

35. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really is. Guys rarely say that.

36. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me."

again, depends on the person and the circumstance

37. Guys don't really have final decisions.

its more that we're flexible enough to allow some wiggle room.

38. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn't happen that often, so when it does, you know something's up.

39. If your best guy friend seems to avoid you or is never around when you're with your boyfriend, he's probably jealous and likes you.

or you and your boyfriend need to watch the pda. . .

40. When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he's definitely thinking something.

41. Guys like femininity not feebleness.

Very much true

42. Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.

actually, I like a good challenge

43. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.

44. Don't be a snob. Guys can be intimidated and give up easily.

not so much with the intimidation, I just don't like snobs.

45. Everything in moderation. Put on makeup, wear perfume. Just not too much.

46. Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys.


47. Guys hate rejection, BUT THEY HATE BEING LED ON EVEN MORE.

Very very true. I hate being led on. Rejection really doesn't bother me.

48. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them.

49. A guy would give his right arm to be able to read a girl's mind for a day.

It'd have to be atleast for a month or two

50. No guy can handle all his problems by his own. He's just too stubborn to admit it.

20060616

I Have Good News . . .

I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico.

Well, not really, but I am now a state certified bartender. And I only had to take the test four times . . .

The class was a lot of fun, as were the teachers. Now I just need to find a job . . .

20060609

Man Laws

Miller Lite has changed its ads to comercials about Man Laws, they have a website for it, and you can find it here. On the site they have the manlawpedia, with over 1,000 man laws written in it that were previously unwritten. Also in the manlawpedia, there is the option to edit the manlaws, as well as comment on them, and make exceptions to said man law. It's a granted that persuit of a woman is usually a justifiable reason for breaking just about any of the man laws.

I have added my own man law: All men must see the Godfather Trilogy atleast once in their lifetime.

I personally hold that no woman should be a valid excuse for breaking this man law.

20060607

a message

Repeat this message to a friend And there will only be one to offend Send it to two And there will be one more to think less of you Send it to three And there will be one more annoyed with thee If you send it to four on your list There will a total of four that will get p***ed Sending it to more will be a synch They only need one of you to lynch Send a few more to be drawn and quartered A few hundred to be crushed in a mortar Or send it to none and spare your life And spare your back from a friend s knife.

20060606

100 things about the Reverend Andrew Ravencroft

1.EVER BEEN GIVEN AN ENGAGEMENT RING?:
nope, never given one either.

2. LONGEST RELATIONSHIP?: a while-- didn't really keep track, i think 3 years or so

3. LAST GIFT YOU RECEIVED?: Just got my christmas gift from my aunt, gift card to target

4. Ever dropped a cell phone? yeah

5. WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU WORKED OUT?: couple days ago

6. THING(S) YOU SPEND A LOT OF MONEY ON?: gas and food

7. LAST FOOD YOU ATE?: cream o' wheat

8. FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX?: eyes and smile

9. ONE FAVORITE SONG: Sad Songs and Waltzes - Cake

10. WHERE DO YOU LIVE?: by the plainfield library

11. HIGH SCHOOL YOU ATTENDED:Harrison, Fuquay-Varina, and Franklin Road

12. CELL PHONE SERVICE PROVIDER: Verizon

13. FAVORITE MALL STORE(S): the book store, Hot Topic, Suncoast

14. LONGEST JOB YOU HAD: Cashier at Meijer

15. DO YOU OWN A PAIR OF DICE?: somewhere

16. DO YOU PRANK CALL PEOPLE?: yup-- I know how to block caller id

17. LAST WEDDING YOU ATTENDED: My friend Ryan's

18. FIRST FRIEND YOU'D CALL IF YOU WON THE LOTTERY: don't know

19. LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR BEST FRIEND: April or May of last year, but I don't have a best friend anymore

20. FAVORITE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT: Burger King or Arby's, depending on my mood

21. BIGGEST LIE YOU HAVE HEARD?: "I don't want to hurt you."

23. WHERE'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO EAT WITH FRIENDS? anywhere

24. CAN YOU COOK?: of course

25. WHAT CAR DO YOU DRIVE: don't drive a car, drive a 98 dodge dakota sport

26. BEST KISSER?: right now its a tie . . .

27. LAST TIME YOU CRIED?: about 30mins ago watching Rainman

28. MOST DISLIKED FOOD: peas

29. THING YOU LIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF: I like that I'm laid back and easy going

30. THING YOU DISLIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF: I let things go too much

32. LONGEST SHIFT YOU HAVE WORKED AT A JOB?: 12 hours

33. FAVORITE MOVIE?: Uncle Buck

34. CAN YOU SING?: if its in my range

35. LAST CONCERT ATTENDED?: never been to a concert

36. LAST KISS?: a month or so ago

37. LAST MOVIE RENTED: Rainman

38. THING YOU NEVER LEAVE HOME WITHOUT?: clothes

39. What country would you most like to visit?: Ireland, Scotland, Englad, Japan

41. DO YOU LIKE CHINESE FOOD?: yup

42. IS YOUR ROOM CLEAN?: clean enough

43. LAPTOP OR DESKTOP COMPUTER?: desktop

44. FAVORITE COMEDIAN?: John Candy

45. DO YOU SMOKE?: occassionally

46. SLEEP WITH OR WITHOUT CLOTHES?: depends on the temerature

47. WHO SLEEPS WITH YOU EVERY NIGHT? just me

48. DO LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS WORk? I've yet to have one that does

49. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN PULLED OVER BY THE POLICE?: twice

50. PANCAKES OR FRENCH TOAST?: pancakes

51. DO YOU LIKE COFFEE?: no. coffee is about the same as beer to me-- both are nasty

52. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?: poached

53. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY?: nope-- think its funny though

54. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE: Jessica

55. LAST PERSON ON YOUR MISSED CALL LIST?: Jessica

56. WHAT WAS THE LAST TEXT MESSAGE YOU RECIEved? something from Jessica (this is getting kinda sad-- no one ever calls me other than her :-D )

57. MCDONALDS OR BURGER KING?: Burger King-- McDonald puts oatmeal in their burgers :-P

58. NUMBER OF PILLOWS?: depends on where I sleep

59. WHAT ARE YOU WEARIN RIGHT NOW?: shorts

60. PICK A LYRIC, ANY LYRIC OR SONG:

"Hey are you girls, waitin' on your friends?

What did you say, you're lesbians?

Bartender cancel those two drinks,

I'm not as am as you drunk I think..."

61. WHAT KIND OF JELLY DO YOU LIKE ON YOUR PB & J SANDWICH?: grape, strawberry

62. CAN YOU PLAY POOL?: yup

63. CAN YOU SWIM?: yup-- c'mon, I just told you I could play in the pool, that's kinda a prerequesite . . . ;)

64. FAVORITE ICE CREAM?: Cookie dough

65. DO YOU LIKE MAPS?: just learned how to actually read one the other day

66. TELL ME A RANDOM FACT ABOUT YOURSELF?: I know stuff

68. EVER ATTEND A THEME PARTY?: nope

69. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON?: I like 'em all

70. LAST TIME YOU LAUGHED AT SOMETHING STUPID?: yesterday

71. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP THIS MORNING?: umm, still awake-- I'll be up again by 8 though

72. BEST THING ABOUT WINTER?: skiing and ice skating

73. LAST TIME A COP GAVE YOU A TICKET? this past winter

75. NAME OF YOUR FIRST PET?: Buck-- Hamster

76. DO YOU THINK PIRATES ARE COOL OR OVERRATED?: Pirates are great, and they'd kick a Ninja's butt any day of the week in a fair fight.

77. WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS WEEKEND? work! and Church

78. BIRTHDATE: Apull 23, 1983

79. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE: right now i'll settle for a certified Mixologist

85. ARE YOU ON A LAPTOP?: nope

86. ARE YOU SMILING?: too tired to smile
.
88. DO YOU HAVE ON EYELINER?: oh yeah, wear that all the time . . . I'm a guy, and I'm not weird in that way, of course I don't have eye liner. I ran out . . .

89. DO YOU MISS SOMEONE RIGHT NOW?: Unfortunately

90. IF YOU COULD GO ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD WHERE WOULD YOU GO?: see above about the vacations

91. DO YOU HAVE A MYSPACE? What's myspace?

92. ARE YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL?: I wish . . . life was so much easier then

93. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH?: no, but there are a couple people I am interested in

94. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NAME? Vash

95. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BATHING SUIT?: black w/ a white stripe or two

96. DOES YOUR SCHOOL START IN AUGUST? nope

97. DID YOU GO ON VACATION LAST MONTH? yup, took a trip to the moon, it was great

98. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A CRUISE?: no, but that was supposed to be my job for 5 months

99. DO YOU HAVE A SISTER? I have 1 1/2 sisters

100. ARE YOU UPSTAIRS? 2nd floor of 3

20060602

Some kind of test thingy

I thought I would score higher in warmth, however, I can see how on average I'm at that level. Depending on the person, I go much higher or lower in that area. Overall I agree with my results.


Cattell's 16 Factor Test Results
Warmth50%
Intellect82%
Emotional Stability86%
Aggressiveness62%
Liveliness50%
Dutifulness74%
Social Assertiveness46%
Sensitivity54%
Paranoia50%
Abstractness66%
Introversion66%
Anxiety26%
Openmindedness62%
Independence42%
Perfectionism30%
Tension18%
Take Cattell 16 Factor Test (similar to 16pf)
personality tests by similarminds.com

20060531

Meijer Babysitting Service

Every time I work in the gas station with Sonny and Cher (no their real names), I end up having to act as a baby sitter. These two people are seeing eachother. Now, if they were younger than me, I could understand this, however, they are both older than me (cher is a grandmother) I shouldn't have to be the mature one. However, I find that I end up having to parent these two as they fight through out the entire work shift. I had once asked to transfer to the gas station, now I really don't want to do that, as I really don't want to be a babysitter for these two every time that I have to work. I get along fine with everyone else though, so if I end up transfering out there for good, I'm going to have to ask for an ealier shift-- I can't handle those two in six to eight hour stretches.

20060529

Bitterness

yeah, I'm entering a pretty bitter period in my life-- it starts with work, and I'm able to contain it there, but then it starts to spread to the rest of my life. I've never been able to figure out the cause, as I'm pretty good at keeping my work life and my personal life seperate-- there's some over lap with people I interact with which I also interact with at work.

I know that part of it is that I've got people who say that they're my friends, but I never actually hang out with them. Those aren't friends, those are people I know. They tell me that they're busy-- but no one's busy 24/7. I'm tired of getting the short end of the stick, and its getting to the point where I begin cutting off the people in my life who take but never give. I can only give so much before I need to be refilled. It isn't fair to the people with whom I have an equal give and take relationship, because it will begin to affect how I treat them as well.

It's too hot

I've been without my air conditioning for a while, but I didn't really start to feel it until this past saturday. My fan just isn't doing the job. So I've put in to have the air conditioning fixed, as well as the toilet which has been running constantly for the last few months. Its not that I like my things to work less than pefectly well, its just that I learn to adapt to the changes, and then forget about it completely.

It's for this reason that I abdicate spanking. When my parents spanked me, there wasn't a re-occurance of the crime committed for quite some time. But when I was grounded, or had things taken away, I learned to live without television or video games. I loved reading when I was little, and I still do, my parents never took my books away, so I always had a way to pass the time. But spankings, those hurt, and that nice survival instinct given to us by God teaches us that such pain is bad, and therefore, avoid things that cause it.

20060527

Drink of the Day

Grasshopper
stemmed glass, chilled
mixing cup, two scoop and a half of ice

1/2 oz. Green Creme De Menthe
1/2 oz White Creme De Cacoa
2 oz. Cream

shake and strain

20060525

My Secret Project

I've been working on a secret project which combined with work and Jessica has really sapped my time. (which is why I've rarely been posting)

anyway, I've finished the project, and you can view it here.

Its an anime music video, and lasts about 9 minutes. It speaks for itself, so I'm not really going to speak much about it here, other than to say that the quality isn't the greatest because I had to lower it in order to upload it.

20060516

Jesus Wasn't a Hippy!

Many Christians believe that Jesus had long hair, and that since he also preached loving God with all of yourself, and loving others as you love yourself, they call him a hippy. These people forget that Jesus was in favor of owning a sword (if you have no sword, sell your garment, and buy one [Luke 22:36]), and don't forget the temple where he trashed the place because people were being dishonest in the Lord's House. He even said: "Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword." (Matthew 10:34) The men who had long hair were the Nazarites (Samson was one of these) they made a promise to God that they would do something, and a mark of that promise was letting their hair grow out until they accomplished it, which once accoplished they could cut their hair. Jesus was a Nazarene, not a Nazarite (He hadn't made such a promise), his hair would have been short. Had his hair been long, he would have been noticeable, and Judas would not have had to kiss him to mark him as Jesus.

Jesus was no hippy.

I thought I'd be happier by now . . .

Always before, whenever I've gotten drunk, I've been the happiest person on the earth. Not so much this time. I'm not sad or anything-- I'm just apathetic this time. I don't get it.

20060515

Drink of The Day

Lynchburg Lemonade

1 oz. Jack Daniels
1/2 oz Triple Sec
1 oz. Sweet and Sour Mix
almost fill with lemon-lime soda
lemon and cherry garnish

20060514

A Petition

Okay, I'm not really an American Idol[atry] fan. But I've heard Chris sing, and he's a lot better than the others. Tyler is still in because he appeals to the age 35+ women out there, and they don't want to lose him, he can't actually sing well. The chick is still in there because there's a whole lot of men that don't want to lose their eye-candy. The last guy, I don't know why he's still in it-- he just sucks . . .

anyway, go here to sign a petition to get Chris back onto the show.

20060513

Drink of the Day

okay, so I'm not sure why I didn't get this idea sooner, but to help me memorize my drinks for bartending, I'm going to post, from memory, an alcoholic drink. You're job is then to post in the comments, about the night that you tried this drink. If you haven't had it yet, then your assignment is to go out and procure the drink, and then report back in the comments-- or mention it on your own blog (make sure to trackback) At the end of the week, I'll post highlights.

Today's Drink:

Blue Motherfucker

1/2 oz. vodka
1/2 oz. gin
1/2 oz. light rum
1/2 oz. blue caracoa
1/2 oz. taquila
2 oz. Sweet and Sour Mix
fill with 7up
lemon wedge garnish

This is currently my favorite drink from the class that I've actually tried.

20060504

So this is long overdue

APPLICATION TO DATE MY SON

Note to would-be femme fatale: I know all your tricks. I am watching you..

Name:__________________ Date (today):_____________________

Social Security Number____________________________________

Your age _________ (provide certified copy of birth certificate and two forms of ID)

My sons age________(Subtract the lowest of the two above numbers from the highest. If the difference is more than 1, do not continue)

Mothers name and profession:__________________________________________
Home number: ___________ Work number:_____________
Best time to call:______

Fathers name and profession:___________________________________________
Home number:___________ Work number:_____________
Best time to call:______

Are your parents still together? (Circle one) YES NO

Do you get along with your parents? (Circle one) YES NO

If you circled no, please attach a two-page typed, double-spaced explanation in your own words explaining the reason

Do you have any children? (Circle one) YES NO
If you circled yes, put the paper down, back away slowly and leave quietly.

What are your future goals? ______________________________________________

How do you plan to meet those goals? (Circle all that apply):
College
Hard work
Part-time job while in college
Volunteer work
Keep my grades up so I can get good scholarships for college
Intentional overdose to get attention
Intentional overdose to end it all
Find a rich husband
Live off the child support from all the babies Im going to have
Welfare
Partying
Working to legalize drugs and prostitution
Just find some guy willing to put a roof over my head so I won't have to work!

Circle the best answer to complete the following sentence:
The boys at school say I am:
A. Easy
B. Cheap
C. Fun
D. Really hard to get
E. A golddigger
F. Trashy
G. REALLY popular
H. a total perv
I. A stalker

Has anyone ever been sent to jail because of you? YES NO

Have you ever been in jail? YES NO

How many times a day do you believe it is acceptable to call a guy? (choose one)
A. None! It's the man's place to call!
B. Umm...maybe once or twice.
C. Oh please! I could never stand to not hear his voice!
D. As many times as it takes until the SOB calls me BACK!!!!

My favorite things to do are (circle all that apply):
A. Hang with my girls
B. Hook up
C. Read my Bible every night
D. Party Party Party!!
E. Watch the little line turn blue on the preg test more money, YAY!!
F. Find new and creative ways to fake out the drug tests they make me take every week.
G. Flirt with my probation officer
H. Flirt with my priest/pastor
I. Flirt with anything in pants
J. Spend extra time in the teachers office after hours how else am I going to pass this year?
K. Shop for that perfect little black lipstick
L. Get pierced and/or inked gotta find some way to hide the track marks!

(if you circled anything other than C you may NOT date my son and you should go NOW before Mama hurts you.Be advised: I will review the application for completeness and accuracy and do the necessary background checks. If I disapprove of your application I will thump my son over the head and take out a restraining order against you.Think you can pass?
Then sign here________________________________________

20060427

What personality elements make up your Personality cocktail?



How to make a Andrew
Ingredients:

3 parts pride

1 part brilliance

3 parts ego
Method:
Layer ingredientes in a shot glass. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of wisdom

20060425

Bartending

This past weekend, I had my first two classes at Bartending School. The classes were quite enjoyable, and while we did have assignments, learning how to make drinks is actually quite fun. The people teaching the classes all have 20+ years of bartending experience, so not only do they know the best ways to make the drinks, they also know the best dirty jokes. One of them is as follows:

“Why don’t women have brains?”

“Because they don’t have a penis to put one in.”

The ‘tender that taught us this one told us that a female in one of his classes last week came up with this reply on the spot:

“Yeah, well I wouldn’t want a brain that small.”

The only downside to the class, other than it being in Detroit (two hours distance), is that you don’t get to try the drinks you prepare (this is ill-advisable, as it’s all latex paints and dyes)

20060417

PSA: Men and How To Last Longer During Sex

Lets face it, Men and Women are different when it comes to sex. To quote Jeff Foxworthy, women are a bit like diesel engines. It takes a while to warm them up, but once started, they can run for a long time. Men on the other hand are like bottle rockets. We light fast, and fizzle out faster. However, there are ways to last longer in the bedroom (or where ever else it is that you make love). Hopefully, after some practice with these, you will no longer be refered to as a minute man.



One way is to picture this.

Another is to press your tongue to the roof of your mouth. Tensing other muscles in your body requires blood to direct to that region, and away from your penis.

AskMen.com suggests a few approaches as well:

Control your breathing

Slow, even breaths are the way to go. Taking fast breaths, or holding your breath is not the way to go Adding sound to help you remember may also help arouse your partner as well.

Pull Your Testicles

Your testicles will rise closer to your body when its close to ejaculation. Lightly tugging (emphasis on lightly! Do not yank!) will keep them from rising, and thus help prolong the experience

Apply Pressure to the perineum(aka Male G-spot)

When it feels like your close to ejaculation, pressing down on the area between the anus and the scrotum with your fingers (or have your partner do it) will conjest the flow of fluid, as this is the path it takes to get to your penis.

Stop and Go (kind of like a sexier game of redlight greenlight)

Before getting too close to climax, pull out, and do other things that she will enjoy. This allows you to last longer, while still getting her closer to climax herself. This will also increase the amount of ejaculation fluids that you expel.

Finally, contract your muscle

located around your testicles, penis and anus are your pelvic floor muscles, also called the pubococcygeus (PC muscle). By contracting these muscles and letting go, you will have more solid erections and be better able to control your ejaculation.

You must keep your PC muscle in top shape in order to have the maximum sexual experience (women, this goes for you too!) The next time you urinate, try to staunch the flow midway by contracting these muscles. If you can't, then you need to start exercising it. The great thing is that you can exercise anywhere, whether at work, or sitting on your couch watching TV, to laying in bed before going to sleep.

Try stopping your urine midstream 3-5 times to make sure that you know where its located. Another way is to contract the muscles while you have an erection. If your penis moves up slightly, then you've found the right set of muscles.

For a complete list of the different type of exercises to strengthen your PC muscle, go here.

Well guys, good luck in your endeavors.

20060415

Confidence In Yourself

Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit.

-E. E. Cummings

Who has confidence in himself will gain the confidence of others.

-Leib Lazarow

Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.

-Malcolm S. Forbes

Laugh at yourself, but don't ever aim your doubt at yourself. Be bold. When you embark for strange places, don't leave any of yourself safely on shore. Have the nerve to go into unexplored territory.

-Alan Alda

One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation.

-Arthur Ashe

God helps those who help themselves.

-Benjamin Franklin

Look within. Within is the fountain of good, and it will ever bubble up, if thou wilt ever dig.

-Marcus Aurelius

Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings.

-Samuel Johnson

Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.

-Golda Meir

A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.

-Robert A. Heinlein

But the real secret to total gorgeousness is to believe in yourself, have self confindence, and try to be secure in your decisions and thoughts.

-Kirsten Dunst

If you don't believe in yourself, then who will believe in you? The next man's way of getting there might not necessarily work for me, so I have to create my own ways of getting there.

-Michael Korda

It is folly for a man to pray to the gods for that which he has the power to obtain by himself.

-Epicurus

I'd go from film to film and almost detach from one world and jump in another. I was living as these people and not having a self. I didn't know who I was. And things just get really dark.

-Angelina Jolie

The only kind of dignity which is genuine is that which is not diminished by the indifference of others.

-Dag Hammarskjold

There is only one security, and when you've lost that security, you've lost everything you've got. And that is the security of confidence in yourself; to be, to create, to make any position you want to make for yourself. And when you lose that confidence, you've lost the only security you can have. ... Self-confidence is self-determinism. One's belief in one's ability to determine his own course. As long as one has that, he's got the universe in his pocket. And when he hasn't got that, not all the pearls in China nor all the grain and corn in Iowa can give him security, because that's the only security there is. (I include this, but would say that security in God is what gives self confidence)

-Billie Jean King

20060414

Relationship Quiz

I would advise against copying this and posting your answers on you're own bulletin or blog. Feel free to copy it and pass it along, but the questions are simple, so just remember your answers until the end.

Do you find your self worth in others?

Are you dating someone because youre scared to be alone?

Do you constantly worry about the future?

Are you unable to let go of the past?

Do the smallest things set you off?

Is there no passion in your voice when you speak of the person your dating (if youve been dating a while)?

Do close friends and relatives think of the person your dating as a complete ass or bimbo?

Does the person your dating consistently lie to you or in some other way abuse you?

Do you find that either you or the person youre dating gets jealous easily?

Do you fight about little things and either not apologize or refuse to forgive?

Are either of you a obsessive with control (heres what you will wear, eat, etc.)?

Are you unable to talk openly about meaningful things with the person your dating?


If you answered yes to most of these, then your relationship is unhealthy and is very likely to fail. If you arent dating, and you answered yes to most of the first 5, then you likely shouldnt start dating anytime soon. Understand that I could be wrong. This is based off of my own experience and observations. As with any rule or idea made by man, there are exceptions. This is doubly so for dealings with psychology, as people are an uncertainty to begin with.

20060412

Something I May Come To Regret . . .

So here's the deal. You get to ask me *3 Questions* any three questions, no matter how crazy, inappropriate, or just random, and I promise to answer them 100% truthfully. So go for it! I'll answer honestly.



1.



2.



3

*Insert Clever and Funny Title Here*

I sometimes struggle with just what to post in my blogs. This is not due to a lack of creativity on my part, but more that when I write where other people can read it, two criteria must be filled. Firstly, that what Im posting has some meaning to me. And secondly, it must be something that I dont mind a lot of people that I dont know will be reading what Ive written.

The latter of the two conditions is possibly the more tricky of the two because Im willing to share anything about myself with complete strangers. The reason for this is that in encountering other people, as in chess, I prefer to react, rather than act. I play the black pieces. And so, when someone wants to learn of me, they must first act by asking a direct question. I dont like to talk about myself often, because to me it seems like Im full of myself, and while I may make jokes that seem to the contrary, Im actually not. Another reason for this is that it places me in the correct frame of mind to let people know about myself.

In most of the relationships Ive had with women that have gone beyond that of friendship, the girl was the one who asked me out. Usually it was a girl that I didnt have a clue was interested in me as anything other than a friend. I figured if they were interested enough, theyd ask me eventually. Looking back, I realize that I likely missed out on a few dating opportunities. A few months ago in OctOgre, I took it upon myself to ask a girl out. The relationship last about two weeks. I had found out that she had lied about a few key things, and then started dating another guy. (Shes gone through a few guys at work now.) The next girl I asked out, I have regretted doing so to this day.

After her, I decidedly swore off dating forever. Forever, it turns out, lasts until March 24th, which would be the day I asked a girl I hadnt met in person to see a movie with me that I had been planning on going to. By the way, dont go see Stay Alive, wait for the rental. Afterwards, we went to IHOP and talked. She seemed even cooler in person than she did in the few written conversations that we had. And I was very relieved to find out that she wasnt some internet psycho, as Im sure she was relieved that Im not. Shes a fun person to hang out with, even if she doesnt like ice-skating. Its nice to have a girl I can hang out with without wondering whether or not shes going to take something the wrong way.

20060410

Sin

"People who sin say this: That they had to, to survive. People who sin say this: That it's too late to stop. The shadow called Sin dogs them steadily without a word. Remorse and Agony are repeated, to finally end up at Despair. But sinners don't know. . . that if they turn around, there is a light. . . a light which keeps shining on them ever so warmly."

- Vash The Stampede (Trigun)

"Sin is not hurtful because it is forbidden, but it is forbidden because it is hurtful"
- Ben Franklin

"The worst sin toward our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them; that's the essence of inhumanity"

- George Bernard Shaw

"Sin cannot tear you away from Him (Christ), even though you commit adultery a hundred times a day and commit as many murders."

- Martin Luther

"So much attention is paid to the aggressive sins, such as violence and cruelty and greed with all their tragic effects, that too little attention is paid to the passive sins, such as apathy and laziness, which in the long run can have a more devastat"

- Eleanor Roosevelt

"It is right to hate sin, but not to hate the sinner"

- Giovanni Guareschi

20060409

Interesting Math

The probability of just one DNA arranging itself by chance has been calculated to be 1 chance in 10 to the 119,000th power.

20060406

Don't Mess With The Classics (Unless You Can Do Them Justice)

Okay, so as an April Fool's Joke, I told a friend of mine that they were remaking Gone With The Wind. Little did I know, until I googled it, that someone was indeed going to do just that.

Mark Borchardt a pot-smoking hippie (thanks Sarah) and director of American Movie, has taken it upon himself to butcher, I'm sorry, remake, an American Classic, according to this article.

From reading the article, it seems to be extremely low budget, He's casting his mom for some part. He wanted the orinal scarlet to play the role of scarlet-- but since she's dead, he's going with "Tiffany with the tattoos from Uptowner."

Okay, I'm not for remaking such a classic, but if I were to do it, I'd go with a better director, maybe Peter Jackson (who did LoTR, and is doing Halo) and have Johnny Depp play the role of Rhett Butler. I don't know who I'd get to play Scarlet, I was thinking Reba McEntire, but she's a little old for the part. Any ideas?

20060331

A Trip Down Memory Lane - The 90's Kid

You're a 90's kid if:

You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCH!"

You can sing the rap to "The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air"

You know who Vanilla Ice is, and all the words to Ice, ICe, Baby.

MC Hammer had the coolest pants.

You know who the popple's are.

You know who pound puppies are.

You know which care bear had which care bear stare.

You remember when Kurt Cobain, Tu Pac, River Phoenix, and Selena died.

You know that "WOAH" comes from Joey from "Blossom" and that "How Rude!" comes from Stephanie from "Full House"

You remember when it was actually worth getting up early
on a Saturday to watch cartoons.


You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.

You remember reading "Goosebumps"

You know the profound meaning of "Wax on, wax off"

You have pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.

You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.

you danced to "wannabe" by the Spice Girls, Females: had a new motto, Males: got a whole lot gay-er. (so tell me what you want, what you really really want.)

You remember the craze then the banning of slap bracelets and slam books.

You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence...Not...

Where in the world is Carmen San Diego? was both a game and a TV game show.

Captain Planet.

You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the red* Ranger were meant to be together.

To the last sentence you said.....hey...Tommy was the green* ranger!!!!

*later to be white

When playing power rangers with friends you fought over who got to be who............and still all ended up being tommy.

You remember when super nintendo's became popular.

You remember watching home alone 1 and 2........and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"

"I've fallen and I can't get up"

You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates

Two words... Trapper Keeper.

You ever got injured on a Slip 'n' Slide

You wore socks over leggings scrunched down

"Miss Mary Mack, Mack, Mack, all dressed in black, black, black, with silver buttons, buttons, buttons, all down her back, back, back" SHE ASKED HER MOTHER MOTHER MOTHER FOR FIFTY CENTS CENTS CENTS TO SEE THE ELEPHANTS PHANTS PHANTS JUMP OVER THE FENCE THE FENCE THE FENCE
he jumped so high high high he touched the sky sky sky and he didnt come back back back til the forth of july ly ly he jumped so low ow ow he stubbed his toe toe toe and thats the end end end of the elephants show show show

You remember boom boxes vs. cd players

You remember New Kids on The Block when they were cool

You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By The Bell"

You played and or collected "Pogs"

You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet or Nano and brought it everywhere

You watched the original Care Bears, My Little Pony, and Ninja Turtles

NANCY DREW AND THE HARDY BOYS WERE THE BEST MYSTERY BOOKS

Yikes pencils and erasers were the stuff!

All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.(pencils.notebooks.binders.etc.)

You remember when the new Beanie Babies were always sold out.

You used to wear those stick on earings, not only on your ears, but at the corners of your eyes.

You remember a time before the WB.

You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"

You know the Macarena by heart.

"Talk to the hand" ... enough said

You thought Brain woud finally take over the world

You always said, "Then why don't you marry it!"

You remember when everyone went slinky crazy.

You remember when razor scooters were cool.

when we were younger:

Before the MySpace frenzy.

Before the Internet & text messaging.

Before Sidekicks & iPods.

Before MIKE JONES

Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX.

Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.

WHEN LIGHT UP SNEAKERS WERE KOOL

When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.

When gas was $0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was a new thing.

When we recorded stuff on VCRs & paid $3.50 for a movie.

When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off our walkmans.

When 2Pac and Biggie where alive.

When the Chicago Bulls were the best team ever.

Way back.

Tag.

Get Over Here!!!! means something to you.

Hide-n-Go Seek at dusk.

Red Light, Green Light.

Heads Up 7 Up.

Playing Kickball & Dodgeball until your porch light came on.

SIDEWALK CHALK!!!

Hopskotch.

BUILDING FORTS!!!

Slip-n-Slides.... now there are just ghetto ones

Tree Houses.

Hula Hoops.

Reading R.L. Stine's Goose Bumps.

HELLO....HOT WHEELS!!!!!

"POWER OF LOVE" BY CELINE DION..ONLY COUPLES COULD SKATE TO THIS.

The annoying Nano Pets & Furbies.

Running through the sprinklers.

That "Little Mermaid"

Crying when Mufasa died in the Lion King.

Happy Meals where you chose a Barbie or a Hot Wheels car.

Getting the privelage to sit in the front seat of the car.

Drinking Sqeeze It "Squeeze The Fun Out Of It"

CAPRI SUN

Watching Saturday Morning Cartoons in your PJ's still wrapped up in your TMNT, Power Rangers, Barbie, Fairy Princess comforter.

Hey Arnold, Doug, Rugrats.

The original Power Rangers

Or what about:

The Secret Life of Alex Mac.

Ren & Stimpy.

Double Dare.

Rocco's Modern Life.

AAAHH!! REAL MONSTERS.

Wild & Crazy Kids.

Clarissa Explains it All.

CAMP NOWHERE

salute your shorts(CAMP ANAWANA)

Are You Afraid of the Dark?

The original cast members of all that.

Kenan & Kel.

"CITY GUYS"...ROLLW/ THE CITY GUYS

doug.

magic school bus.

Nick Arcade.

flash forward.

pete and pete.

legends of the hidden temple.

hey dude.

dinosaurs.

pinky and the brain.

Sailor Moon.

blossom.

hangin with mr.copper.

wishbone.

bill-nye the science guy.

MR RODGERS!!!!

Who could forget Snick? & Nick @ Nite with Bewitched, I Dream of Jenie, The Facts of Life & I Love Lucy.

Where everyone wanted to be in love after watching The Wonder Years.

or nick jr. with face

gulah gulah island

little bear

under the unbrella tree

PEE-WEE!!!

The Big Comfy Couch


Kool-Aid was the drink of choice.

Wearing your new shoes on the first day of school.

Class field trips.

POGS

When Christmas was the most exciting time of year.

When $5 seemed like a million, & another dollar a miracle.

When you begged to go to McDonalds for dinner everyday.

When Toys R Us overuled the mall.

Go back to the time when:

Decisions were made by going 'eeny-meeny-miney-moe'.

Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming 'do over!'

'Race issue' ment arguing about who ran the fastest.

Money issues were handled by whoever was banker in 'Monopoly'.

It wasn't odd to have two or three 'best' friends.

Being old referred to anyone over 20.

A chance to skate as a couple at the local roller rink was like winning the lottery.

Scrapes & bruises were kissed & made better.

It was a big deal to finally be tall enought to ride the 'big people' rides at the fair.

When playing Nintendo was the hardest thing ever.

When Ninja Turtles ruled the world.

DID I DO THAAAAAAAAAT???

smud and yak back. skip it and pop it.

Sister Sister

Smart Guy

Arthur

when pop music started with britney spears bsb nsync christina aguilera...


Before we realized all this would eventually disappear

who would have thought youd miss the 90's so much!!!!!

20060330

The Latest

It's looking like I'm going to be taking time off from work and Grand Rapids to take a course in bartending over in Detroit. So to help me prepare, please list your favorite drinks, and how to mix them, in the comments. I have to say that my favorite is the 3 wise men.

20060323

A Psychological Study

Through my job at Meijer, I have taken great pains to study people. Both the people who shop there, and the people who work there. Here are some of the results.

As a cashier, if you want to avoid customers, the easiest way is simply to hide in plane sight. Rather than look to the lane lights to see which registers are open, customers look for cashiers at their register. So, if there are no customers in my lane, I like to go to the next lane over and bag for the cashier there. Or I'll go stand at the end of my lane which, if it isn't busy, is what we're supposed to do. As long as you don't make eye contact with the customer, they usually just pass you by.

As a customer, if you have a specific cashier in mind that you want to process your order, make a note of which lane they're own when you come in. When you finish with your shopping, look down the rows to make sure that their light is on. If it is, head straight to that lane, do not look cashiers who are standing at the end of their lane in the eye, and you won't have to say no to them when they ask if you're ready to check out.

For some odd reason, as long as you don't make eye contact, people tend to ignore you.

20060320

Jeeez...

I go to make a filler post and he posts two entries in the time it takes me to go all crazy with one. Guess next time I should reload the index in mah browser BEFORE making a post.

Oh, and Ninja > Pirates. Any day.

So, um, hey!

Figured I'd make a random post about nothingness as filler for Mr. RavenCroft XIV, (PBUH).
So like, hey how's it going?

Oh, and I'm less evil than Andrew, (PBUH). Only 78%.

Did you know that vitamins are really a mind control device? That's right. A vitamin a day put little holes in your head, which is then filled by "vitamins" which are really infinitismally small microbes which gain control.

And infomercials are tools of the devil. Not just any of them, but the ones that are guaranteed to improve your life. They make it more difficult. Such as the juicers. Do you realize how much energy to could build if you were to manually juice your juice daily? On top of the energy you'd gain drinking that sludge, you'd have monster arms. They're just trying to give you more energy to watch their stupid informercials and pick up that phone.

Oh, and for something I found amusing (but you might not), my online classroom has been having technical issues. The funny part about it is their little logo at the side which claims "Leave the worrying to us". Well that's fine and dandy, since I can't do anything but wait for the worrying to affect them and finish fixing their servers. Punks.

Enough of the randomness. I have some work to complete! I'll end with a great quote from the ever wise shaman of Hollywood, Johnny Depp - "America is dumb. It's like a dumb puppy that has big teeth that can bite and hurt you, aggressive. My daughter is four, my boy is one. I'd like them to see America as a toy, a broken toy. Investigate it a little, check it out, get this feeling and then get out."

Toodaloo, and PBTB (PBUH)!

Reminds Me of Elementary School








Andrew Ravencroft will have to write:








I will not trust pirates








'What will you have to write on the chalk board?' at QuizGalaxy.com



But I like pirates . . . I want to be one.

I Can't Unsee It! a Public Service Announcement

Welcome to my first PSA. I guess it could be considered the second, if you take into account my ealier post about how to treat your cashiers. However, this is the first official PSA.

So spring is officially here, or close to being here, one of the two. Either way, the weather is slowly but surely starting to get warmer. I want to take this moment to say something about how you should dress in regard to this warmer weather. If you don't have the body for revealing clothing, do not wear revealing clothes. I am sick, and disturbed, to see people who are eighty, and look their age wearing clothing that was made for buxom teenagers five times younger than them. Just because you used to be really good looking, doesn't mean you still are.

For you girls who like to wear revealing clothes. Realize that if you wear the clothes, guys will check you out, and they will notice ten to twenty times more than you do about just what you are revealing. So don't take offense to us checking you out.

It should be noted, men, that you should wear clothing that is specific to your gender. Women can pull off wearing men's clothing, and in the right circumstances (sometimes the wrong circumstances), is quite sexy. However, just because it works for women, doesn't mean that it works for men. I don't care if you are gay or not, backless tops that are metalic silver in color (or any clothes with metalic colors) with skirts and high heels are not appropriet for men. I will make fun of you, and then I will tell my friends about you.

Please, this spring, please dress in a way that is flattering to your body-type.

20060317

The Job Search Sucks.

So it's been about 3 months, maybe closer to 4 now that I've been searching. I've had two phone interviews, and one in person interview. I've put out over 200 resumes. I still have no job.
It's been a mixed bag, being at home all the time. I get a lot more time to spend with my wife and children, which is excellent since the last job I had limited that at times due to the overtime I worked. The negative is that I feel like I'm not doing enough. Going to work and getting tasks completed is now a missing piece.
Not that I just sit around all day twidling my thumbs. I've been doing school work, which takes a lot of time up with the classes I have now. Also been sharpening my skill set, learning Python, advanced bash scripting and random other techno studies. I've also been working on my basement, trying to tear out some old tounge and groove board walls to do some repairs and remodeling. Lately I've found myself working with my martial arts instructor to remodel what will become our dojo. And while the later may turn into a secondary income working in the dojo (on both the administrative and instructor sides), I'm not getting an income right now, aside from unemployment.
I have been offered a chance for a job, not exactly what I've ever pictured myself doing, selling Aflac. From the people I know who do, or had and now retired from, selling Aflac it can be a great business. You can work your own schedule, giving yourself time for family and play, while still making a good living. On the flip side is the fact that you really have to hustle and be out there selling. So I think I'm going to try it out...
...At least until I finish this degree for a silly piece of paper. It seems everyone wants you to have one, regardless of your knowledge and/or skill set.