okay, so I'm not sure why I didn't get this idea sooner, but to help me memorize my drinks for bartending, I'm going to post, from memory, an alcoholic drink. You're job is then to post in the comments, about the night that you tried this drink. If you haven't had it yet, then your assignment is to go out and procure the drink, and then report back in the comments-- or mention it on your own blog (make sure to trackback) At the end of the week, I'll post highlights.
Today's Drink:
Blue Motherfucker
1/2 oz. vodka
1/2 oz. gin
1/2 oz. light rum
1/2 oz. blue caracoa
1/2 oz. taquila
2 oz. Sweet and Sour Mix
fill with 7up
lemon wedge garnish
This is currently my favorite drink from the class that I've actually tried.
20060513
20060504
So this is long overdue
APPLICATION TO DATE MY SON
Note to would-be femme fatale: I know all your tricks. I am watching you..
Name:__________________ Date (today):_____________________
Social Security Number____________________________________
Your age _________ (provide certified copy of birth certificate and two forms of ID)
My sons age________(Subtract the lowest of the two above numbers from the highest. If the difference is more than 1, do not continue)
Mothers name and profession:__________________________________________
Home number: ___________ Work number:_____________
Best time to call:______
Fathers name and profession:___________________________________________
Home number:___________ Work number:_____________
Best time to call:______
Are your parents still together? (Circle one) YES NO
Do you get along with your parents? (Circle one) YES NO
If you circled no, please attach a two-page typed, double-spaced explanation in your own words explaining the reason
Do you have any children? (Circle one) YES NO
If you circled yes, put the paper down, back away slowly and leave quietly.
What are your future goals? ______________________________________________
How do you plan to meet those goals? (Circle all that apply):
College
Hard work
Part-time job while in college
Volunteer work
Keep my grades up so I can get good scholarships for college
Intentional overdose to get attention
Intentional overdose to end it all
Find a rich husband
Live off the child support from all the babies Im going to have
Welfare
Partying
Working to legalize drugs and prostitution
Just find some guy willing to put a roof over my head so I won't have to work!
Circle the best answer to complete the following sentence:
The boys at school say I am:
A. Easy
B. Cheap
C. Fun
D. Really hard to get
E. A golddigger
F. Trashy
G. REALLY popular
H. a total perv
I. A stalker
Has anyone ever been sent to jail because of you? YES NO
Have you ever been in jail? YES NO
How many times a day do you believe it is acceptable to call a guy? (choose one)
A. None! It's the man's place to call!
B. Umm...maybe once or twice.
C. Oh please! I could never stand to not hear his voice!
D. As many times as it takes until the SOB calls me BACK!!!!
My favorite things to do are (circle all that apply):
A. Hang with my girls
B. Hook up
C. Read my Bible every night
D. Party Party Party!!
E. Watch the little line turn blue on the preg test more money, YAY!!
F. Find new and creative ways to fake out the drug tests they make me take every week.
G. Flirt with my probation officer
H. Flirt with my priest/pastor
I. Flirt with anything in pants
J. Spend extra time in the teachers office after hours how else am I going to pass this year?
K. Shop for that perfect little black lipstick
L. Get pierced and/or inked gotta find some way to hide the track marks!
(if you circled anything other than C you may NOT date my son and you should go NOW before Mama hurts you.Be advised: I will review the application for completeness and accuracy and do the necessary background checks. If I disapprove of your application I will thump my son over the head and take out a restraining order against you.Think you can pass?
Then sign here________________________________________
Note to would-be femme fatale: I know all your tricks. I am watching you..
Name:__________________ Date (today):_____________________
Social Security Number____________________________________
Your age _________ (provide certified copy of birth certificate and two forms of ID)
My sons age________(Subtract the lowest of the two above numbers from the highest. If the difference is more than 1, do not continue)
Mothers name and profession:__________________________________________
Home number: ___________ Work number:_____________
Best time to call:______
Fathers name and profession:___________________________________________
Home number:___________ Work number:_____________
Best time to call:______
Are your parents still together? (Circle one) YES NO
Do you get along with your parents? (Circle one) YES NO
If you circled no, please attach a two-page typed, double-spaced explanation in your own words explaining the reason
Do you have any children? (Circle one) YES NO
If you circled yes, put the paper down, back away slowly and leave quietly.
What are your future goals? ______________________________________________
How do you plan to meet those goals? (Circle all that apply):
College
Hard work
Part-time job while in college
Volunteer work
Keep my grades up so I can get good scholarships for college
Intentional overdose to get attention
Intentional overdose to end it all
Find a rich husband
Live off the child support from all the babies Im going to have
Welfare
Partying
Working to legalize drugs and prostitution
Just find some guy willing to put a roof over my head so I won't have to work!
Circle the best answer to complete the following sentence:
The boys at school say I am:
A. Easy
B. Cheap
C. Fun
D. Really hard to get
E. A golddigger
F. Trashy
G. REALLY popular
H. a total perv
I. A stalker
Has anyone ever been sent to jail because of you? YES NO
Have you ever been in jail? YES NO
How many times a day do you believe it is acceptable to call a guy? (choose one)
A. None! It's the man's place to call!
B. Umm...maybe once or twice.
C. Oh please! I could never stand to not hear his voice!
D. As many times as it takes until the SOB calls me BACK!!!!
My favorite things to do are (circle all that apply):
A. Hang with my girls
B. Hook up
C. Read my Bible every night
D. Party Party Party!!
E. Watch the little line turn blue on the preg test more money, YAY!!
F. Find new and creative ways to fake out the drug tests they make me take every week.
G. Flirt with my probation officer
H. Flirt with my priest/pastor
I. Flirt with anything in pants
J. Spend extra time in the teachers office after hours how else am I going to pass this year?
K. Shop for that perfect little black lipstick
L. Get pierced and/or inked gotta find some way to hide the track marks!
(if you circled anything other than C you may NOT date my son and you should go NOW before Mama hurts you.Be advised: I will review the application for completeness and accuracy and do the necessary background checks. If I disapprove of your application I will thump my son over the head and take out a restraining order against you.Think you can pass?
Then sign here________________________________________
20060427
What personality elements make up your Personality cocktail?
| How to make a Andrew |
| Ingredients: 3 parts pride 1 part brilliance 3 parts ego |
| Method: Layer ingredientes in a shot glass. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of wisdom |
20060425
Bartending
This past weekend, I had my first two classes at Bartending School. The classes were quite enjoyable, and while we did have assignments, learning how to make drinks is actually quite fun. The people teaching the classes all have 20+ years of bartending experience, so not only do they know the best ways to make the drinks, they also know the best dirty jokes. One of them is as follows:
“Why don’t women have brains?”
“Because they don’t have a penis to put one in.”
The ‘tender that taught us this one told us that a female in one of his classes last week came up with this reply on the spot:
“Yeah, well I wouldn’t want a brain that small.”
The only downside to the class, other than it being in Detroit (two hours distance), is that you don’t get to try the drinks you prepare (this is ill-advisable, as it’s all latex paints and dyes)
“Why don’t women have brains?”
“Because they don’t have a penis to put one in.”
The ‘tender that taught us this one told us that a female in one of his classes last week came up with this reply on the spot:
“Yeah, well I wouldn’t want a brain that small.”
The only downside to the class, other than it being in Detroit (two hours distance), is that you don’t get to try the drinks you prepare (this is ill-advisable, as it’s all latex paints and dyes)
20060420
20060417
PSA: Men and How To Last Longer During Sex
Lets face it, Men and Women are different when it comes to sex. To quote Jeff Foxworthy, women are a bit like diesel engines. It takes a while to warm them up, but once started, they can run for a long time. Men on the other hand are like bottle rockets. We light fast, and fizzle out faster. However, there are ways to last longer in the bedroom (or where ever else it is that you make love). Hopefully, after some practice with these, you will no longer be refered to as a minute man.
One way is to picture this.
Another is to press your tongue to the roof of your mouth. Tensing other muscles in your body requires blood to direct to that region, and away from your penis.
AskMen.com suggests a few approaches as well:
Control your breathing
Slow, even breaths are the way to go. Taking fast breaths, or holding your breath is not the way to go Adding sound to help you remember may also help arouse your partner as well.
Pull Your Testicles
Your testicles will rise closer to your body when its close to ejaculation. Lightly tugging (emphasis on lightly! Do not yank!) will keep them from rising, and thus help prolong the experience
Apply Pressure to the perineum(aka Male G-spot)
When it feels like your close to ejaculation, pressing down on the area between the anus and the scrotum with your fingers (or have your partner do it) will conjest the flow of fluid, as this is the path it takes to get to your penis.
Stop and Go (kind of like a sexier game of redlight greenlight)
Before getting too close to climax, pull out, and do other things that she will enjoy. This allows you to last longer, while still getting her closer to climax herself. This will also increase the amount of ejaculation fluids that you expel.
Finally, contract your muscle
located around your testicles, penis and anus are your pelvic floor muscles, also called the pubococcygeus (PC muscle). By contracting these muscles and letting go, you will have more solid erections and be better able to control your ejaculation.
You must keep your PC muscle in top shape in order to have the maximum sexual experience (women, this goes for you too!) The next time you urinate, try to staunch the flow midway by contracting these muscles. If you can't, then you need to start exercising it. The great thing is that you can exercise anywhere, whether at work, or sitting on your couch watching TV, to laying in bed before going to sleep.
Try stopping your urine midstream 3-5 times to make sure that you know where its located. Another way is to contract the muscles while you have an erection. If your penis moves up slightly, then you've found the right set of muscles.
For a complete list of the different type of exercises to strengthen your PC muscle, go here.
Well guys, good luck in your endeavors.
One way is to picture this.
Another is to press your tongue to the roof of your mouth. Tensing other muscles in your body requires blood to direct to that region, and away from your penis.
AskMen.com suggests a few approaches as well:
Control your breathing
Slow, even breaths are the way to go. Taking fast breaths, or holding your breath is not the way to go Adding sound to help you remember may also help arouse your partner as well.
Pull Your Testicles
Your testicles will rise closer to your body when its close to ejaculation. Lightly tugging (emphasis on lightly! Do not yank!) will keep them from rising, and thus help prolong the experience
Apply Pressure to the perineum(aka Male G-spot)
When it feels like your close to ejaculation, pressing down on the area between the anus and the scrotum with your fingers (or have your partner do it) will conjest the flow of fluid, as this is the path it takes to get to your penis.
Stop and Go (kind of like a sexier game of redlight greenlight)
Before getting too close to climax, pull out, and do other things that she will enjoy. This allows you to last longer, while still getting her closer to climax herself. This will also increase the amount of ejaculation fluids that you expel.
Finally, contract your muscle
located around your testicles, penis and anus are your pelvic floor muscles, also called the pubococcygeus (PC muscle). By contracting these muscles and letting go, you will have more solid erections and be better able to control your ejaculation.
You must keep your PC muscle in top shape in order to have the maximum sexual experience (women, this goes for you too!) The next time you urinate, try to staunch the flow midway by contracting these muscles. If you can't, then you need to start exercising it. The great thing is that you can exercise anywhere, whether at work, or sitting on your couch watching TV, to laying in bed before going to sleep.
Try stopping your urine midstream 3-5 times to make sure that you know where its located. Another way is to contract the muscles while you have an erection. If your penis moves up slightly, then you've found the right set of muscles.
For a complete list of the different type of exercises to strengthen your PC muscle, go here.
Well guys, good luck in your endeavors.
20060415
Confidence In Yourself
Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit.
-E. E. Cummings
Who has confidence in himself will gain the confidence of others.
-Leib Lazarow
Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.
-Malcolm S. Forbes
Laugh at yourself, but don't ever aim your doubt at yourself. Be bold. When you embark for strange places, don't leave any of yourself safely on shore. Have the nerve to go into unexplored territory.
-Alan Alda
One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation.
-Arthur Ashe
God helps those who help themselves.
-Benjamin Franklin
Look within. Within is the fountain of good, and it will ever bubble up, if thou wilt ever dig.
-Marcus Aurelius
Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings.
-Samuel Johnson
Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.
-Golda Meir
A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.
-Robert A. Heinlein
But the real secret to total gorgeousness is to believe in yourself, have self confindence, and try to be secure in your decisions and thoughts.
-Kirsten Dunst
If you don't believe in yourself, then who will believe in you? The next man's way of getting there might not necessarily work for me, so I have to create my own ways of getting there.
-Michael Korda
It is folly for a man to pray to the gods for that which he has the power to obtain by himself.
-Epicurus
I'd go from film to film and almost detach from one world and jump in another. I was living as these people and not having a self. I didn't know who I was. And things just get really dark.
-Angelina Jolie
The only kind of dignity which is genuine is that which is not diminished by the indifference of others.
-Dag Hammarskjold
There is only one security, and when you've lost that security, you've lost everything you've got. And that is the security of confidence in yourself; to be, to create, to make any position you want to make for yourself. And when you lose that confidence, you've lost the only security you can have. ... Self-confidence is self-determinism. One's belief in one's ability to determine his own course. As long as one has that, he's got the universe in his pocket. And when he hasn't got that, not all the pearls in China nor all the grain and corn in Iowa can give him security, because that's the only security there is. (I include this, but would say that security in God is what gives self confidence)
-Billie Jean King
-E. E. Cummings
Who has confidence in himself will gain the confidence of others.
-Leib Lazarow
Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.
-Malcolm S. Forbes
Laugh at yourself, but don't ever aim your doubt at yourself. Be bold. When you embark for strange places, don't leave any of yourself safely on shore. Have the nerve to go into unexplored territory.
-Alan Alda
One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation.
-Arthur Ashe
God helps those who help themselves.
-Benjamin Franklin
Look within. Within is the fountain of good, and it will ever bubble up, if thou wilt ever dig.
-Marcus Aurelius
Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings.
-Samuel Johnson
Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.
-Golda Meir
A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.
-Robert A. Heinlein
But the real secret to total gorgeousness is to believe in yourself, have self confindence, and try to be secure in your decisions and thoughts.
-Kirsten Dunst
If you don't believe in yourself, then who will believe in you? The next man's way of getting there might not necessarily work for me, so I have to create my own ways of getting there.
-Michael Korda
It is folly for a man to pray to the gods for that which he has the power to obtain by himself.
-Epicurus
I'd go from film to film and almost detach from one world and jump in another. I was living as these people and not having a self. I didn't know who I was. And things just get really dark.
-Angelina Jolie
The only kind of dignity which is genuine is that which is not diminished by the indifference of others.
-Dag Hammarskjold
There is only one security, and when you've lost that security, you've lost everything you've got. And that is the security of confidence in yourself; to be, to create, to make any position you want to make for yourself. And when you lose that confidence, you've lost the only security you can have. ... Self-confidence is self-determinism. One's belief in one's ability to determine his own course. As long as one has that, he's got the universe in his pocket. And when he hasn't got that, not all the pearls in China nor all the grain and corn in Iowa can give him security, because that's the only security there is. (I include this, but would say that security in God is what gives self confidence)
-Billie Jean King
20060414
Relationship Quiz
I would advise against copying this and posting your answers on you're own bulletin or blog. Feel free to copy it and pass it along, but the questions are simple, so just remember your answers until the end.
Do you find your self worth in others?
Are you dating someone because youre scared to be alone?
Do you constantly worry about the future?
Are you unable to let go of the past?
Do the smallest things set you off?
Is there no passion in your voice when you speak of the person your dating (if youve been dating a while)?
Do close friends and relatives think of the person your dating as a complete ass or bimbo?
Does the person your dating consistently lie to you or in some other way abuse you?
Do you find that either you or the person youre dating gets jealous easily?
Do you fight about little things and either not apologize or refuse to forgive?
Are either of you a obsessive with control (heres what you will wear, eat, etc.)?
Are you unable to talk openly about meaningful things with the person your dating?
If you answered yes to most of these, then your relationship is unhealthy and is very likely to fail. If you arent dating, and you answered yes to most of the first 5, then you likely shouldnt start dating anytime soon. Understand that I could be wrong. This is based off of my own experience and observations. As with any rule or idea made by man, there are exceptions. This is doubly so for dealings with psychology, as people are an uncertainty to begin with.
Do you find your self worth in others?
Are you dating someone because youre scared to be alone?
Do you constantly worry about the future?
Are you unable to let go of the past?
Do the smallest things set you off?
Is there no passion in your voice when you speak of the person your dating (if youve been dating a while)?
Do close friends and relatives think of the person your dating as a complete ass or bimbo?
Does the person your dating consistently lie to you or in some other way abuse you?
Do you find that either you or the person youre dating gets jealous easily?
Do you fight about little things and either not apologize or refuse to forgive?
Are either of you a obsessive with control (heres what you will wear, eat, etc.)?
Are you unable to talk openly about meaningful things with the person your dating?
If you answered yes to most of these, then your relationship is unhealthy and is very likely to fail. If you arent dating, and you answered yes to most of the first 5, then you likely shouldnt start dating anytime soon. Understand that I could be wrong. This is based off of my own experience and observations. As with any rule or idea made by man, there are exceptions. This is doubly so for dealings with psychology, as people are an uncertainty to begin with.
20060412
Something I May Come To Regret . . .
So here's the deal. You get to ask me *3 Questions* any three questions, no matter how crazy, inappropriate, or just random, and I promise to answer them 100% truthfully. So go for it! I'll answer honestly.
1.
2.
3
1.
2.
3
*Insert Clever and Funny Title Here*
I sometimes struggle with just what to post in my blogs. This is not due to a lack of creativity on my part, but more that when I write where other people can read it, two criteria must be filled. Firstly, that what Im posting has some meaning to me. And secondly, it must be something that I dont mind a lot of people that I dont know will be reading what Ive written.
The latter of the two conditions is possibly the more tricky of the two because Im willing to share anything about myself with complete strangers. The reason for this is that in encountering other people, as in chess, I prefer to react, rather than act. I play the black pieces. And so, when someone wants to learn of me, they must first act by asking a direct question. I dont like to talk about myself often, because to me it seems like Im full of myself, and while I may make jokes that seem to the contrary, Im actually not. Another reason for this is that it places me in the correct frame of mind to let people know about myself.
In most of the relationships Ive had with women that have gone beyond that of friendship, the girl was the one who asked me out. Usually it was a girl that I didnt have a clue was interested in me as anything other than a friend. I figured if they were interested enough, theyd ask me eventually. Looking back, I realize that I likely missed out on a few dating opportunities. A few months ago in OctOgre, I took it upon myself to ask a girl out. The relationship last about two weeks. I had found out that she had lied about a few key things, and then started dating another guy. (Shes gone through a few guys at work now.) The next girl I asked out, I have regretted doing so to this day.
After her, I decidedly swore off dating forever. Forever, it turns out, lasts until March 24th, which would be the day I asked a girl I hadnt met in person to see a movie with me that I had been planning on going to. By the way, dont go see Stay Alive, wait for the rental. Afterwards, we went to IHOP and talked. She seemed even cooler in person than she did in the few written conversations that we had. And I was very relieved to find out that she wasnt some internet psycho, as Im sure she was relieved that Im not. Shes a fun person to hang out with, even if she doesnt like ice-skating. Its nice to have a girl I can hang out with without wondering whether or not shes going to take something the wrong way.
The latter of the two conditions is possibly the more tricky of the two because Im willing to share anything about myself with complete strangers. The reason for this is that in encountering other people, as in chess, I prefer to react, rather than act. I play the black pieces. And so, when someone wants to learn of me, they must first act by asking a direct question. I dont like to talk about myself often, because to me it seems like Im full of myself, and while I may make jokes that seem to the contrary, Im actually not. Another reason for this is that it places me in the correct frame of mind to let people know about myself.
In most of the relationships Ive had with women that have gone beyond that of friendship, the girl was the one who asked me out. Usually it was a girl that I didnt have a clue was interested in me as anything other than a friend. I figured if they were interested enough, theyd ask me eventually. Looking back, I realize that I likely missed out on a few dating opportunities. A few months ago in OctOgre, I took it upon myself to ask a girl out. The relationship last about two weeks. I had found out that she had lied about a few key things, and then started dating another guy. (Shes gone through a few guys at work now.) The next girl I asked out, I have regretted doing so to this day.
After her, I decidedly swore off dating forever. Forever, it turns out, lasts until March 24th, which would be the day I asked a girl I hadnt met in person to see a movie with me that I had been planning on going to. By the way, dont go see Stay Alive, wait for the rental. Afterwards, we went to IHOP and talked. She seemed even cooler in person than she did in the few written conversations that we had. And I was very relieved to find out that she wasnt some internet psycho, as Im sure she was relieved that Im not. Shes a fun person to hang out with, even if she doesnt like ice-skating. Its nice to have a girl I can hang out with without wondering whether or not shes going to take something the wrong way.
20060410
Sin
"People who sin say this: That they had to, to survive. People who sin say this: That it's too late to stop. The shadow called Sin dogs them steadily without a word. Remorse and Agony are repeated, to finally end up at Despair. But sinners don't know. . . that if they turn around, there is a light. . . a light which keeps shining on them ever so warmly."
- Vash The Stampede (Trigun)
"Sin is not hurtful because it is forbidden, but it is forbidden because it is hurtful"
- Ben Franklin
"The worst sin toward our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them; that's the essence of inhumanity"
- George Bernard Shaw
"Sin cannot tear you away from Him (Christ), even though you commit adultery a hundred times a day and commit as many murders."
- Martin Luther
"So much attention is paid to the aggressive sins, such as violence and cruelty and greed with all their tragic effects, that too little attention is paid to the passive sins, such as apathy and laziness, which in the long run can have a more devastat"
- Eleanor Roosevelt
"It is right to hate sin, but not to hate the sinner"
- Giovanni Guareschi
- Vash The Stampede (Trigun)
"Sin is not hurtful because it is forbidden, but it is forbidden because it is hurtful"
- Ben Franklin
"The worst sin toward our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them; that's the essence of inhumanity"
- George Bernard Shaw
"Sin cannot tear you away from Him (Christ), even though you commit adultery a hundred times a day and commit as many murders."
- Martin Luther
"So much attention is paid to the aggressive sins, such as violence and cruelty and greed with all their tragic effects, that too little attention is paid to the passive sins, such as apathy and laziness, which in the long run can have a more devastat"
- Eleanor Roosevelt
"It is right to hate sin, but not to hate the sinner"
- Giovanni Guareschi
20060409
Interesting Math
The probability of just one DNA arranging itself by chance has been calculated to be 1 chance in 10 to the 119,000th power.
20060406
Don't Mess With The Classics (Unless You Can Do Them Justice)
Okay, so as an April Fool's Joke, I told a friend of mine that they were remaking Gone With The Wind. Little did I know, until I googled it, that someone was indeed going to do just that.
Mark Borchardt a pot-smoking hippie (thanks Sarah) and director of American Movie, has taken it upon himself to butcher, I'm sorry, remake, an American Classic, according to this article.
From reading the article, it seems to be extremely low budget, He's casting his mom for some part. He wanted the orinal scarlet to play the role of scarlet-- but since she's dead, he's going with "Tiffany with the tattoos from Uptowner."
Okay, I'm not for remaking such a classic, but if I were to do it, I'd go with a better director, maybe Peter Jackson (who did LoTR, and is doing Halo) and have Johnny Depp play the role of Rhett Butler. I don't know who I'd get to play Scarlet, I was thinking Reba McEntire, but she's a little old for the part. Any ideas?
Mark Borchardt a pot-smoking hippie (thanks Sarah) and director of American Movie, has taken it upon himself to butcher, I'm sorry, remake, an American Classic, according to this article.
From reading the article, it seems to be extremely low budget, He's casting his mom for some part. He wanted the orinal scarlet to play the role of scarlet-- but since she's dead, he's going with "Tiffany with the tattoos from Uptowner."
Okay, I'm not for remaking such a classic, but if I were to do it, I'd go with a better director, maybe Peter Jackson (who did LoTR, and is doing Halo) and have Johnny Depp play the role of Rhett Butler. I don't know who I'd get to play Scarlet, I was thinking Reba McEntire, but she's a little old for the part. Any ideas?
20060331
A Trip Down Memory Lane - The 90's Kid
You're a 90's kid if:
You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCH!"
You can sing the rap to "The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air"
You know who Vanilla Ice is, and all the words to Ice, ICe, Baby.
MC Hammer had the coolest pants.
You know who the popple's are.
You know who pound puppies are.
You know which care bear had which care bear stare.
You remember when Kurt Cobain, Tu Pac, River Phoenix, and Selena died.
You know that "WOAH" comes from Joey from "Blossom" and that "How Rude!" comes from Stephanie from "Full House"
You remember when it was actually worth getting up early
on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
You remember reading "Goosebumps"
You know the profound meaning of "Wax on, wax off"
You have pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.
You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.
you danced to "wannabe" by the Spice Girls, Females: had a new motto, Males: got a whole lot gay-er. (so tell me what you want, what you really really want.)
You remember the craze then the banning of slap bracelets and slam books.
You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence...Not...
Where in the world is Carmen San Diego? was both a game and a TV game show.
Captain Planet.
You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the red* Ranger were meant to be together.
To the last sentence you said.....hey...Tommy was the green* ranger!!!!
*later to be white
When playing power rangers with friends you fought over who got to be who............and still all ended up being tommy.
You remember when super nintendo's became popular.
You remember watching home alone 1 and 2........and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"
"I've fallen and I can't get up"
You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates
Two words... Trapper Keeper.
You ever got injured on a Slip 'n' Slide
You wore socks over leggings scrunched down
"Miss Mary Mack, Mack, Mack, all dressed in black, black, black, with silver buttons, buttons, buttons, all down her back, back, back" SHE ASKED HER MOTHER MOTHER MOTHER FOR FIFTY CENTS CENTS CENTS TO SEE THE ELEPHANTS PHANTS PHANTS JUMP OVER THE FENCE THE FENCE THE FENCE
he jumped so high high high he touched the sky sky sky and he didnt come back back back til the forth of july ly ly he jumped so low ow ow he stubbed his toe toe toe and thats the end end end of the elephants show show show
You remember boom boxes vs. cd players
You remember New Kids on The Block when they were cool
You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By The Bell"
You played and or collected "Pogs"
You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet or Nano and brought it everywhere
You watched the original Care Bears, My Little Pony, and Ninja Turtles
NANCY DREW AND THE HARDY BOYS WERE THE BEST MYSTERY BOOKS
Yikes pencils and erasers were the stuff!
All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.(pencils.notebooks.binders.etc.)
You remember when the new Beanie Babies were always sold out.
You used to wear those stick on earings, not only on your ears, but at the corners of your eyes.
You remember a time before the WB.
You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"
You know the Macarena by heart.
"Talk to the hand" ... enough said
You thought Brain woud finally take over the world
You always said, "Then why don't you marry it!"
You remember when everyone went slinky crazy.
You remember when razor scooters were cool.
when we were younger:
Before the MySpace frenzy.
Before the Internet & text messaging.
Before Sidekicks & iPods.
Before MIKE JONES
Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX.
Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.
WHEN LIGHT UP SNEAKERS WERE KOOL
When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.
When gas was $0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was a new thing.
When we recorded stuff on VCRs & paid $3.50 for a movie.
When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off our walkmans.
When 2Pac and Biggie where alive.
When the Chicago Bulls were the best team ever.
Way back.
Tag.
Get Over Here!!!! means something to you.
Hide-n-Go Seek at dusk.
Red Light, Green Light.
Heads Up 7 Up.
Playing Kickball & Dodgeball until your porch light came on.
SIDEWALK CHALK!!!
Hopskotch.
BUILDING FORTS!!!
Slip-n-Slides.... now there are just ghetto ones
Tree Houses.
Hula Hoops.
Reading R.L. Stine's Goose Bumps.
HELLO....HOT WHEELS!!!!!
"POWER OF LOVE" BY CELINE DION..ONLY COUPLES COULD SKATE TO THIS.
The annoying Nano Pets & Furbies.
Running through the sprinklers.
That "Little Mermaid"
Crying when Mufasa died in the Lion King.
Happy Meals where you chose a Barbie or a Hot Wheels car.
Getting the privelage to sit in the front seat of the car.
Drinking Sqeeze It "Squeeze The Fun Out Of It"
CAPRI SUN
Watching Saturday Morning Cartoons in your PJ's still wrapped up in your TMNT, Power Rangers, Barbie, Fairy Princess comforter.
Hey Arnold, Doug, Rugrats.
The original Power Rangers
Or what about:
The Secret Life of Alex Mac.
Ren & Stimpy.
Double Dare.
Rocco's Modern Life.
AAAHH!! REAL MONSTERS.
Wild & Crazy Kids.
Clarissa Explains it All.
CAMP NOWHERE
salute your shorts(CAMP ANAWANA)
Are You Afraid of the Dark?
The original cast members of all that.
Kenan & Kel.
"CITY GUYS"...ROLLW/ THE CITY GUYS
doug.
magic school bus.
Nick Arcade.
flash forward.
pete and pete.
legends of the hidden temple.
hey dude.
dinosaurs.
pinky and the brain.
Sailor Moon.
blossom.
hangin with mr.copper.
wishbone.
bill-nye the science guy.
MR RODGERS!!!!
Who could forget Snick? & Nick @ Nite with Bewitched, I Dream of Jenie, The Facts of Life & I Love Lucy.
Where everyone wanted to be in love after watching The Wonder Years.
or nick jr. with face
gulah gulah island
little bear
under the unbrella tree
PEE-WEE!!!
The Big Comfy Couch
Kool-Aid was the drink of choice.
Wearing your new shoes on the first day of school.
Class field trips.
POGS
When Christmas was the most exciting time of year.
When $5 seemed like a million, & another dollar a miracle.
When you begged to go to McDonalds for dinner everyday.
When Toys R Us overuled the mall.
Go back to the time when:
Decisions were made by going 'eeny-meeny-miney-moe'.
Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming 'do over!'
'Race issue' ment arguing about who ran the fastest.
Money issues were handled by whoever was banker in 'Monopoly'.
It wasn't odd to have two or three 'best' friends.
Being old referred to anyone over 20.
A chance to skate as a couple at the local roller rink was like winning the lottery.
Scrapes & bruises were kissed & made better.
It was a big deal to finally be tall enought to ride the 'big people' rides at the fair.
When playing Nintendo was the hardest thing ever.
When Ninja Turtles ruled the world.
DID I DO THAAAAAAAAAT???
smud and yak back. skip it and pop it.
Sister Sister
Smart Guy
Arthur
when pop music started with britney spears bsb nsync christina aguilera...
Before we realized all this would eventually disappear
who would have thought youd miss the 90's so much!!!!!
You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCH!"
You can sing the rap to "The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air"
You know who Vanilla Ice is, and all the words to Ice, ICe, Baby.
MC Hammer had the coolest pants.
You know who the popple's are.
You know who pound puppies are.
You know which care bear had which care bear stare.
You remember when Kurt Cobain, Tu Pac, River Phoenix, and Selena died.
You know that "WOAH" comes from Joey from "Blossom" and that "How Rude!" comes from Stephanie from "Full House"
You remember when it was actually worth getting up early
on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
You remember reading "Goosebumps"
You know the profound meaning of "Wax on, wax off"
You have pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.
You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.
you danced to "wannabe" by the Spice Girls, Females: had a new motto, Males: got a whole lot gay-er. (so tell me what you want, what you really really want.)
You remember the craze then the banning of slap bracelets and slam books.
You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence...Not...
Where in the world is Carmen San Diego? was both a game and a TV game show.
Captain Planet.
You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the red* Ranger were meant to be together.
To the last sentence you said.....hey...Tommy was the green* ranger!!!!
*later to be white
When playing power rangers with friends you fought over who got to be who............and still all ended up being tommy.
You remember when super nintendo's became popular.
You remember watching home alone 1 and 2........and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"
"I've fallen and I can't get up"
You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates
Two words... Trapper Keeper.
You ever got injured on a Slip 'n' Slide
You wore socks over leggings scrunched down
"Miss Mary Mack, Mack, Mack, all dressed in black, black, black, with silver buttons, buttons, buttons, all down her back, back, back" SHE ASKED HER MOTHER MOTHER MOTHER FOR FIFTY CENTS CENTS CENTS TO SEE THE ELEPHANTS PHANTS PHANTS JUMP OVER THE FENCE THE FENCE THE FENCE
he jumped so high high high he touched the sky sky sky and he didnt come back back back til the forth of july ly ly he jumped so low ow ow he stubbed his toe toe toe and thats the end end end of the elephants show show show
You remember boom boxes vs. cd players
You remember New Kids on The Block when they were cool
You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By The Bell"
You played and or collected "Pogs"
You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet or Nano and brought it everywhere
You watched the original Care Bears, My Little Pony, and Ninja Turtles
NANCY DREW AND THE HARDY BOYS WERE THE BEST MYSTERY BOOKS
Yikes pencils and erasers were the stuff!
All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.(pencils.notebooks.binders.etc.)
You remember when the new Beanie Babies were always sold out.
You used to wear those stick on earings, not only on your ears, but at the corners of your eyes.
You remember a time before the WB.
You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"
You know the Macarena by heart.
"Talk to the hand" ... enough said
You thought Brain woud finally take over the world
You always said, "Then why don't you marry it!"
You remember when everyone went slinky crazy.
You remember when razor scooters were cool.
when we were younger:
Before the MySpace frenzy.
Before the Internet & text messaging.
Before Sidekicks & iPods.
Before MIKE JONES
Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX.
Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.
WHEN LIGHT UP SNEAKERS WERE KOOL
When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.
When gas was $0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was a new thing.
When we recorded stuff on VCRs & paid $3.50 for a movie.
When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off our walkmans.
When 2Pac and Biggie where alive.
When the Chicago Bulls were the best team ever.
Way back.
Tag.
Get Over Here!!!! means something to you.
Hide-n-Go Seek at dusk.
Red Light, Green Light.
Heads Up 7 Up.
Playing Kickball & Dodgeball until your porch light came on.
SIDEWALK CHALK!!!
Hopskotch.
BUILDING FORTS!!!
Slip-n-Slides.... now there are just ghetto ones
Tree Houses.
Hula Hoops.
Reading R.L. Stine's Goose Bumps.
HELLO....HOT WHEELS!!!!!
"POWER OF LOVE" BY CELINE DION..ONLY COUPLES COULD SKATE TO THIS.
The annoying Nano Pets & Furbies.
Running through the sprinklers.
That "Little Mermaid"
Crying when Mufasa died in the Lion King.
Happy Meals where you chose a Barbie or a Hot Wheels car.
Getting the privelage to sit in the front seat of the car.
Drinking Sqeeze It "Squeeze The Fun Out Of It"
CAPRI SUN
Watching Saturday Morning Cartoons in your PJ's still wrapped up in your TMNT, Power Rangers, Barbie, Fairy Princess comforter.
Hey Arnold, Doug, Rugrats.
The original Power Rangers
Or what about:
The Secret Life of Alex Mac.
Ren & Stimpy.
Double Dare.
Rocco's Modern Life.
AAAHH!! REAL MONSTERS.
Wild & Crazy Kids.
Clarissa Explains it All.
CAMP NOWHERE
salute your shorts(CAMP ANAWANA)
Are You Afraid of the Dark?
The original cast members of all that.
Kenan & Kel.
"CITY GUYS"...ROLLW/ THE CITY GUYS
doug.
magic school bus.
Nick Arcade.
flash forward.
pete and pete.
legends of the hidden temple.
hey dude.
dinosaurs.
pinky and the brain.
Sailor Moon.
blossom.
hangin with mr.copper.
wishbone.
bill-nye the science guy.
MR RODGERS!!!!
Who could forget Snick? & Nick @ Nite with Bewitched, I Dream of Jenie, The Facts of Life & I Love Lucy.
Where everyone wanted to be in love after watching The Wonder Years.
or nick jr. with face
gulah gulah island
little bear
under the unbrella tree
PEE-WEE!!!
The Big Comfy Couch
Kool-Aid was the drink of choice.
Wearing your new shoes on the first day of school.
Class field trips.
POGS
When Christmas was the most exciting time of year.
When $5 seemed like a million, & another dollar a miracle.
When you begged to go to McDonalds for dinner everyday.
When Toys R Us overuled the mall.
Go back to the time when:
Decisions were made by going 'eeny-meeny-miney-moe'.
Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming 'do over!'
'Race issue' ment arguing about who ran the fastest.
Money issues were handled by whoever was banker in 'Monopoly'.
It wasn't odd to have two or three 'best' friends.
Being old referred to anyone over 20.
A chance to skate as a couple at the local roller rink was like winning the lottery.
Scrapes & bruises were kissed & made better.
It was a big deal to finally be tall enought to ride the 'big people' rides at the fair.
When playing Nintendo was the hardest thing ever.
When Ninja Turtles ruled the world.
DID I DO THAAAAAAAAAT???
smud and yak back. skip it and pop it.
Sister Sister
Smart Guy
Arthur
when pop music started with britney spears bsb nsync christina aguilera...
Before we realized all this would eventually disappear
who would have thought youd miss the 90's so much!!!!!
20060330
The Latest
It's looking like I'm going to be taking time off from work and Grand Rapids to take a course in bartending over in Detroit. So to help me prepare, please list your favorite drinks, and how to mix them, in the comments. I have to say that my favorite is the 3 wise men.
20060324
20060323
A Psychological Study
Through my job at Meijer, I have taken great pains to study people. Both the people who shop there, and the people who work there. Here are some of the results.
As a cashier, if you want to avoid customers, the easiest way is simply to hide in plane sight. Rather than look to the lane lights to see which registers are open, customers look for cashiers at their register. So, if there are no customers in my lane, I like to go to the next lane over and bag for the cashier there. Or I'll go stand at the end of my lane which, if it isn't busy, is what we're supposed to do. As long as you don't make eye contact with the customer, they usually just pass you by.
As a customer, if you have a specific cashier in mind that you want to process your order, make a note of which lane they're own when you come in. When you finish with your shopping, look down the rows to make sure that their light is on. If it is, head straight to that lane, do not look cashiers who are standing at the end of their lane in the eye, and you won't have to say no to them when they ask if you're ready to check out.
For some odd reason, as long as you don't make eye contact, people tend to ignore you.
As a cashier, if you want to avoid customers, the easiest way is simply to hide in plane sight. Rather than look to the lane lights to see which registers are open, customers look for cashiers at their register. So, if there are no customers in my lane, I like to go to the next lane over and bag for the cashier there. Or I'll go stand at the end of my lane which, if it isn't busy, is what we're supposed to do. As long as you don't make eye contact with the customer, they usually just pass you by.
As a customer, if you have a specific cashier in mind that you want to process your order, make a note of which lane they're own when you come in. When you finish with your shopping, look down the rows to make sure that their light is on. If it is, head straight to that lane, do not look cashiers who are standing at the end of their lane in the eye, and you won't have to say no to them when they ask if you're ready to check out.
For some odd reason, as long as you don't make eye contact, people tend to ignore you.
20060320
Jeeez...
I go to make a filler post and he posts two entries in the time it takes me to go all crazy with one. Guess next time I should reload the index in mah browser BEFORE making a post.
Oh, and Ninja > Pirates. Any day.
Oh, and Ninja > Pirates. Any day.
So, um, hey!
Figured I'd make a random post about nothingness as filler for Mr. RavenCroft XIV, (PBUH).
So like, hey how's it going?
Oh, and I'm less evil than Andrew, (PBUH). Only 78%.
Did you know that vitamins are really a mind control device? That's right. A vitamin a day put little holes in your head, which is then filled by "vitamins" which are really infinitismally small microbes which gain control.
And infomercials are tools of the devil. Not just any of them, but the ones that are guaranteed to improve your life. They make it more difficult. Such as the juicers. Do you realize how much energy to could build if you were to manually juice your juice daily? On top of the energy you'd gain drinking that sludge, you'd have monster arms. They're just trying to give you more energy to watch their stupid informercials and pick up that phone.
Oh, and for something I found amusing (but you might not), my online classroom has been having technical issues. The funny part about it is their little logo at the side which claims "Leave the worrying to us". Well that's fine and dandy, since I can't do anything but wait for the worrying to affect them and finish fixing their servers. Punks.
Enough of the randomness. I have some work to complete! I'll end with a great quote from the ever wise shaman of Hollywood, Johnny Depp - "America is dumb. It's like a dumb puppy that has big teeth that can bite and hurt you, aggressive. My daughter is four, my boy is one. I'd like them to see America as a toy, a broken toy. Investigate it a little, check it out, get this feeling and then get out."
Toodaloo, and PBTB (PBUH)!
So like, hey how's it going?
Oh, and I'm less evil than Andrew, (PBUH). Only 78%.
Did you know that vitamins are really a mind control device? That's right. A vitamin a day put little holes in your head, which is then filled by "vitamins" which are really infinitismally small microbes which gain control.
And infomercials are tools of the devil. Not just any of them, but the ones that are guaranteed to improve your life. They make it more difficult. Such as the juicers. Do you realize how much energy to could build if you were to manually juice your juice daily? On top of the energy you'd gain drinking that sludge, you'd have monster arms. They're just trying to give you more energy to watch their stupid informercials and pick up that phone.
Oh, and for something I found amusing (but you might not), my online classroom has been having technical issues. The funny part about it is their little logo at the side which claims "Leave the worrying to us". Well that's fine and dandy, since I can't do anything but wait for the worrying to affect them and finish fixing their servers. Punks.
Enough of the randomness. I have some work to complete! I'll end with a great quote from the ever wise shaman of Hollywood, Johnny Depp - "America is dumb. It's like a dumb puppy that has big teeth that can bite and hurt you, aggressive. My daughter is four, my boy is one. I'd like them to see America as a toy, a broken toy. Investigate it a little, check it out, get this feeling and then get out."
Toodaloo, and PBTB (PBUH)!
Reminds Me of Elementary School
Andrew Ravencroft will have to write: |
I will not trust pirates |
'What will you have to write on the chalk board?' at QuizGalaxy.com |
But I like pirates . . . I want to be one.
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