There used to be a time when giving your word meant something. Yes meant yes, and No meant no. There was a time when giving your word was as good as a signed contract, and in some cases, more binding than the signed contract. As for me, I continue to say what I mean, and mean what I say. If I say that I'm going to do something, then I'm going to do it. I don't like words like maybe, or phrases like I'll try. Give me either a yes or a no.
All too often, I watch as people manipulate others with their less than direct words. Or they'll say something and then the things that they do go against what they said. More often than not, its girls who do it to guys. "Oh, I'd love to hang out sometime." And then every time the guy tries to arrange a time to meet, the girl is busy. I'm not saying that guys don't do these kinds of things as well, but they tend to be more direct. And I know that a lot of the time, people do it because they don't want the other person to get hurt.
I hereby request that people start being more direct with each other. Quit trying to protect people from getting hurt, it isn't helping them.
20051117
20051115
Filler while I work on a real post
The Dump List, taken from here, can only be called, Highschool Bathroom Humor. But what can I say, I love bathroom humor. Its almost as good Harvey's Love Notes Comments.
The Poop Name List
The Perfect Dump - Every once in a while, each of us experiences a perfect dump, it's rare, but a thing of beauty in all respects. You sit down expecting the worst, but what you get is a smooth sliding, fartless masterpiece that breaks the water with the splashless grace of an expert diver. But that's not the end of it. You use some toilet tissue only to find that it was totally unnecessary. It makes you feel that all is right with the world and you are in perfect harmony with it.
The Beer Dump - Talk about nasty dumps. Depending on the dumper's tolerance, the beer dump is the end result of too many beers. it could have been 2 or 22, it doesn't matter. What you get is a sinister, lengthy, noisy dump accompanied by a malevolent fog that could close a bathroom for days.
The Chili Dump - Hot when it goes in, and rocket fuel when it leaves. The chili dump stays with you all day, making your tush feel like a heat shield.
The Cable Dump - Long, curly and perfectly formed like 2 feet of E13 telephone CO-axial cable. It loops lazily around the bowl, like a friendly serpent. You wonder admiringly, "DID I DO THAT? Where did it come from?" you leave the bathroom pleased with yourself.
The Latrine Dump - In case you didn't know, a latrine is a hole in the ground with a tent around it where soldiers, boy scouts and flies go to dump. Tip: Don't ever, ever look in the hole.
The Mona Lisa Dump - This is the masterpiece of dumps. It's as perfectly formed as it can be. Delicate and slender with intricacies that would make da Vinci weep. And just think, you made it yourself. You may even want to break out the Polaroid, but maybe that's going a bit too far.
The Empty Roll Dump - You're done...you reach for the toilet paper only to discover that empty cardboard cylinder. A mild panic begins coldly in your throat. You could use the curtains...no, someone would say "Where are the curtains?" Then what would you say? The rug?...too cumbersome. Then you must come to the same conclusion that every "empty roll dumper" must face...Pull up your slacks, tighten your tush and wriggle yourself to the nearest full roll.
The Splash Back Dump - You send the dump on its way, it drops like a depth charge into the bowl creating a column of cold bowl water that washes your bottom with a startlingly unpleasant shock. Now you're wet and embarrassed.
Tip: Blot instead of wiping.
The Aborted Dump - You are in mid-dump when the phone rings. What do you do? ABORT! Pinch it off, go for the phone, and save the rest for later. It isn't pretty, but you've gotta do what you gotta do
The Caesarian Dump - Pain, that's what this dump and childbirth have in common. Its simply a case of too much dump trying to go through too small a hole, and there's no obstetrician to help.
The Alfresco Dump - Everyone has had to go outdoors from time to time. This can be a rather pleasant experience really. The open air, the nature, and a good bush all contribute to the peaceful ambiance that our primitive forefathers must have enjoyed. What can screw up this harmonious interlude is a troop of brownies or a patch of poison ivy.
The Childbirth Dump - This is a dump that is simply too big to go through the aperture provided by nature for the purpose. You sit there, thinking over your dilemma. First it hurts, and it isn't going to get any better. You wonder if you'll ever see your loved ones again. You imagine the newspaper headlines screaming "Man dies trying to hatch monster loaf". You realize you'll have to resolve the crisis before you can leave the bathroom. Basically there are only three things you can do:
1. Scream
2. Call an Obstetrician
3. Hope like hell have enough Vaseline to get you through it.
The Tijuana Trot Dump - The phrase "Sh*t Happens" really applies here in a big way. When the ice in your tainted margarita makes contact with your lower intestinal tract, the fun begins. For the next 72 hours you'd be better off if you carried your own portable toilet with you because you will spend most of that time on the pot and the rest of the time in a fetal position. Now you realize why Mexico never had a navy.
The Machine Gun Dump - You're just sitting there in a state of sublime peace when all of a sudden you emit a group of noisy gassy bursts that break the silence like machine gun fire. The guy in the next stall hits the floor like a combat veteran cradling his umbrella like an M16...damn commies.
The Sound Effect Dump - You feel a noisy one coming on. Relatives, friends or work mates are within earshot, so you must employ some clever techniques to cover the disgusting sounds you are about to emit. Timing is obviously very important here. At the precise moment of release, try the following sound effects:
1. Flush the toilet
2. Sing the first two stanzas of your national anthem
3. Drop a handful of quarters on the floor
The Security Dump - You have enough on your mind when you're in the bathroom without worrying about a lockless door and someone bursting in to find you in mid-dump mode. So how can you prevent this embarrassing spectacle from taking place? One way is to strategically place your foot against the door. If you can't reach to do this...hum loudly
The Cling-On Dump - For the most part you've completed your dump, but there's one little morsel that refuses to drop off. You're getting impatient. Someone else wants to use your stall. So, you grip the seat with both hands and wriggle, twist and pump but that last little stubborn piece just hangs there, suspended, clinging like a canned peach between you and the bowl water. Maybe the person pounding impatiently on the door has scissors
The Houdini Dump - You go, then you stand up to flush, and the darn thing has disappeared. Where'd it go? Did it creep down the pipe? Did you dream the whole thing? Is it lurking out of sight? Should you wipe...maybe you should just to make sure you went. Should you flush? you'd better, because if you don't, you know it will reappear and smile at the next person who comes in
The Flu Dump - You feel so bad that you don't know which end of you to put down first. You have roaring cramps, so you sit down. Then a wave of nausea rolls over you like a cold fog, so you stand up and cramps squeeze your intestines like a vice so you sit down again...up down up down. Don't you wish Mom were close by?
The Porta-Pottie Dump - Construction workers and outdoor concert goers will tell you about going in a portable toilet. My best description would be, "Its like taking a shit in an upright coffin". Its claustrophobic and it smells bad...best advice...go in a paper cup.
The Proctologist Dump - In the beginning, the lord created the earth, the sky and the firmament, but I hope he didn't create this dump, because there is nothing biblical about it, you run out of gas. That's right, you run out of propulsion. The dump is right there at the end of your barrel and refuses to go any further. You grunt, you squeeze, you wriggle but it just stays there like a lump of lead. You've only got two choices here. One is to squeeze the damn thing back up your intestine and wait until next time. The other is to pretend you're a proctologist and go after it yourself. Not a pretty picture is it??
The Whole Roll Dump - No matter how much you wipe, it doesn't seem to be enough. You blow the whole roll and you have to flush 25 times too. The whole episode is consumer waste.
The Graffiti Dump - You flush the dump and the swirling motion of the receding bowl water forces the dump to the porcelain sides, scraping a creative squiggle on its way down. You flush again but the curlicue hangs there...love it or leave it. Its your choice.
The Encore Dump - Ahhhh, you're done, so you wipe, put yourself together, wash your hands and are about to vacate the bathroom when you feel another dump coming. You have to return for a curtain call. The world's record is seven encores.
The Born Again Dump - This is a dump that's going so badly, you say "Lord, if I live through this, I'll take up religion" you always get through it, but seldom keep the promise you made in desperation, because a born again dump is like childbirth...you forget the pain quickly.
The Poop Name List
The Perfect Dump - Every once in a while, each of us experiences a perfect dump, it's rare, but a thing of beauty in all respects. You sit down expecting the worst, but what you get is a smooth sliding, fartless masterpiece that breaks the water with the splashless grace of an expert diver. But that's not the end of it. You use some toilet tissue only to find that it was totally unnecessary. It makes you feel that all is right with the world and you are in perfect harmony with it.
The Beer Dump - Talk about nasty dumps. Depending on the dumper's tolerance, the beer dump is the end result of too many beers. it could have been 2 or 22, it doesn't matter. What you get is a sinister, lengthy, noisy dump accompanied by a malevolent fog that could close a bathroom for days.
The Chili Dump - Hot when it goes in, and rocket fuel when it leaves. The chili dump stays with you all day, making your tush feel like a heat shield.
The Cable Dump - Long, curly and perfectly formed like 2 feet of E13 telephone CO-axial cable. It loops lazily around the bowl, like a friendly serpent. You wonder admiringly, "DID I DO THAT? Where did it come from?" you leave the bathroom pleased with yourself.
The Latrine Dump - In case you didn't know, a latrine is a hole in the ground with a tent around it where soldiers, boy scouts and flies go to dump. Tip: Don't ever, ever look in the hole.
The Mona Lisa Dump - This is the masterpiece of dumps. It's as perfectly formed as it can be. Delicate and slender with intricacies that would make da Vinci weep. And just think, you made it yourself. You may even want to break out the Polaroid, but maybe that's going a bit too far.
The Empty Roll Dump - You're done...you reach for the toilet paper only to discover that empty cardboard cylinder. A mild panic begins coldly in your throat. You could use the curtains...no, someone would say "Where are the curtains?" Then what would you say? The rug?...too cumbersome. Then you must come to the same conclusion that every "empty roll dumper" must face...Pull up your slacks, tighten your tush and wriggle yourself to the nearest full roll.
The Splash Back Dump - You send the dump on its way, it drops like a depth charge into the bowl creating a column of cold bowl water that washes your bottom with a startlingly unpleasant shock. Now you're wet and embarrassed.
Tip: Blot instead of wiping.
The Aborted Dump - You are in mid-dump when the phone rings. What do you do? ABORT! Pinch it off, go for the phone, and save the rest for later. It isn't pretty, but you've gotta do what you gotta do
The Caesarian Dump - Pain, that's what this dump and childbirth have in common. Its simply a case of too much dump trying to go through too small a hole, and there's no obstetrician to help.
The Alfresco Dump - Everyone has had to go outdoors from time to time. This can be a rather pleasant experience really. The open air, the nature, and a good bush all contribute to the peaceful ambiance that our primitive forefathers must have enjoyed. What can screw up this harmonious interlude is a troop of brownies or a patch of poison ivy.
The Childbirth Dump - This is a dump that is simply too big to go through the aperture provided by nature for the purpose. You sit there, thinking over your dilemma. First it hurts, and it isn't going to get any better. You wonder if you'll ever see your loved ones again. You imagine the newspaper headlines screaming "Man dies trying to hatch monster loaf". You realize you'll have to resolve the crisis before you can leave the bathroom. Basically there are only three things you can do:
1. Scream
2. Call an Obstetrician
3. Hope like hell have enough Vaseline to get you through it.
The Tijuana Trot Dump - The phrase "Sh*t Happens" really applies here in a big way. When the ice in your tainted margarita makes contact with your lower intestinal tract, the fun begins. For the next 72 hours you'd be better off if you carried your own portable toilet with you because you will spend most of that time on the pot and the rest of the time in a fetal position. Now you realize why Mexico never had a navy.
The Machine Gun Dump - You're just sitting there in a state of sublime peace when all of a sudden you emit a group of noisy gassy bursts that break the silence like machine gun fire. The guy in the next stall hits the floor like a combat veteran cradling his umbrella like an M16...damn commies.
The Sound Effect Dump - You feel a noisy one coming on. Relatives, friends or work mates are within earshot, so you must employ some clever techniques to cover the disgusting sounds you are about to emit. Timing is obviously very important here. At the precise moment of release, try the following sound effects:
1. Flush the toilet
2. Sing the first two stanzas of your national anthem
3. Drop a handful of quarters on the floor
The Security Dump - You have enough on your mind when you're in the bathroom without worrying about a lockless door and someone bursting in to find you in mid-dump mode. So how can you prevent this embarrassing spectacle from taking place? One way is to strategically place your foot against the door. If you can't reach to do this...hum loudly
The Cling-On Dump - For the most part you've completed your dump, but there's one little morsel that refuses to drop off. You're getting impatient. Someone else wants to use your stall. So, you grip the seat with both hands and wriggle, twist and pump but that last little stubborn piece just hangs there, suspended, clinging like a canned peach between you and the bowl water. Maybe the person pounding impatiently on the door has scissors
The Houdini Dump - You go, then you stand up to flush, and the darn thing has disappeared. Where'd it go? Did it creep down the pipe? Did you dream the whole thing? Is it lurking out of sight? Should you wipe...maybe you should just to make sure you went. Should you flush? you'd better, because if you don't, you know it will reappear and smile at the next person who comes in
The Flu Dump - You feel so bad that you don't know which end of you to put down first. You have roaring cramps, so you sit down. Then a wave of nausea rolls over you like a cold fog, so you stand up and cramps squeeze your intestines like a vice so you sit down again...up down up down. Don't you wish Mom were close by?
The Porta-Pottie Dump - Construction workers and outdoor concert goers will tell you about going in a portable toilet. My best description would be, "Its like taking a shit in an upright coffin". Its claustrophobic and it smells bad...best advice...go in a paper cup.
The Proctologist Dump - In the beginning, the lord created the earth, the sky and the firmament, but I hope he didn't create this dump, because there is nothing biblical about it, you run out of gas. That's right, you run out of propulsion. The dump is right there at the end of your barrel and refuses to go any further. You grunt, you squeeze, you wriggle but it just stays there like a lump of lead. You've only got two choices here. One is to squeeze the damn thing back up your intestine and wait until next time. The other is to pretend you're a proctologist and go after it yourself. Not a pretty picture is it??
The Whole Roll Dump - No matter how much you wipe, it doesn't seem to be enough. You blow the whole roll and you have to flush 25 times too. The whole episode is consumer waste.
The Graffiti Dump - You flush the dump and the swirling motion of the receding bowl water forces the dump to the porcelain sides, scraping a creative squiggle on its way down. You flush again but the curlicue hangs there...love it or leave it. Its your choice.
The Encore Dump - Ahhhh, you're done, so you wipe, put yourself together, wash your hands and are about to vacate the bathroom when you feel another dump coming. You have to return for a curtain call. The world's record is seven encores.
The Born Again Dump - This is a dump that's going so badly, you say "Lord, if I live through this, I'll take up religion" you always get through it, but seldom keep the promise you made in desperation, because a born again dump is like childbirth...you forget the pain quickly.
20051110
The Internet and You
So Tuesday, I'll finally have internet access at my place. At that time, the fun shall begin. maybe.
20051025
Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating. My profile name: custoshonor |
I must say that I feel I am quite cocky/confident . . . But otherwise it's pretty accurate.
20051024
Someone Is Lying To Me
As I may of may not have mentioned, I had not heard from my friend who's boyfriend hits her since Thursday afternoon. Nor had she gone into work that Friday or Saturday. I didn't get to sleep Saturday night until about 05:00, largely due to the fact that I was worried about her. I went in to work on Sunday to purchase some things, and who should I see but that same friend whom had been missing. I went through her line, and asked how she was doing, and if she wanted to go to the police. After a very long pause in answer, in which time she told me that he would get quite angry if he came to pick her up and she wasn't there, she told me that she would like to go. I then set things up so that I would arrive well before her boyfriend should, and also arranged to get her out of work early so as to avoid confrontation. I then left and got a friend of mine (my old roommate) to help in case anything went wrong.
Well, things went wrong. Upon arriving back at work, the Service Coordinator asked me if I knew where the girl was, as she had gone on break and didn't come back, this being a half an hour ago. We then searched the store and didn't find her. I called her cell, and recieved no answer. My only possible clue was a phone number that had called my cellphone that I didn't recognize. Upon doing a reverse phone search, I got the address, and my friend and I drove there in his car (his car is much faster than my truck) with the idea of taking her to the police station if that was indeed where she was at. I recognized her car in the driveway, and knocked on the door, but recieved no answer. I then called the number which had called me, using caller ID blocker, and an older woman answered the phone. I explained who I was, and what the situation was, and asked to speak to the girl. I was not permitted to do so, and was informed that she was not being abused (she can leave whenever she wants) had called them on her break, and was terrified of me, having them come and get her at work. After a bit more discussion, I left it that I would no longer try to contact her, and that she knew how to reach me if she needed to. This message was conveyed to the girl, who they told me said, "fine."
I don't know if she's the one lying, or if they are. If its her, she's doing a damned good job of it, because there are people who think she's being abused who haven't even talked to her about it.
Either way, I feel used and made a fool of.
"Life's a dance you learn as you go, sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow. Don't worry about what you don't know. Life's a dance you learn as you go."
-John Michael Montgomery
What happened to the life I thought I signed up for?
Well, things went wrong. Upon arriving back at work, the Service Coordinator asked me if I knew where the girl was, as she had gone on break and didn't come back, this being a half an hour ago. We then searched the store and didn't find her. I called her cell, and recieved no answer. My only possible clue was a phone number that had called my cellphone that I didn't recognize. Upon doing a reverse phone search, I got the address, and my friend and I drove there in his car (his car is much faster than my truck) with the idea of taking her to the police station if that was indeed where she was at. I recognized her car in the driveway, and knocked on the door, but recieved no answer. I then called the number which had called me, using caller ID blocker, and an older woman answered the phone. I explained who I was, and what the situation was, and asked to speak to the girl. I was not permitted to do so, and was informed that she was not being abused (she can leave whenever she wants) had called them on her break, and was terrified of me, having them come and get her at work. After a bit more discussion, I left it that I would no longer try to contact her, and that she knew how to reach me if she needed to. This message was conveyed to the girl, who they told me said, "fine."
I don't know if she's the one lying, or if they are. If its her, she's doing a damned good job of it, because there are people who think she's being abused who haven't even talked to her about it.
Either way, I feel used and made a fool of.
"Life's a dance you learn as you go, sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow. Don't worry about what you don't know. Life's a dance you learn as you go."
-John Michael Montgomery
What happened to the life I thought I signed up for?
20051019
Update
I haven't posted in a while, partly due to the fun that is moving in to a new place, partly due to not having internet at my new place, and partly because so much has been happening that I just couldn't make time. So as it stands, here's what's happened in the life of the good Reverend:
I started hanging out with a coworker who had told me she was 18, and things seemed to be going well. I then found out from one of my slightly higher ups that she wasn't 18, that she was 17. I don't know about other states, but in Michigan, that kind of thing is frowned upon. Now, there wasn't anything to actually worry about, as we didn't have sex, and that's where the law has a problem with it.
That she had lied to me didn't have the normal affect it would usually have on me-- I usually would end a relationship of any kind after someone has lied to me. or at the very least, whatever trust I had given them would no longer be given. However, in this case, I didn't care. Come to find out later that she had started seeing another co-worker, saying the same thing, and found out that she and I were never actually dating, which was fine with me. I fel sorry for my co-worker, as he now has to deal with her, and she thinks that she and him are dating (Ahh the drama that unfolds at Meijer)
Came to realize that I didn't care that she lied, or that we weren't dating, because I love another girl, whom I had thoroughly burned a bridge with and can't contact anymore.
In other news, I began focusing on a new cashier at meijer, and we hung out last night. I knew that she had a boyfriend, and that he was/is very controlling. What I found out last night was that he hits her. I had her stay the night, and today before she left, she promised she would go to the police. I'm going to talk with her again tonight, and if she hasn't gone to the police yet, then I'll take her myself tomorrow.
Life has been interesting these past few weeks. I sometimes feel that God is using me for his own amusement, but that's okay, because I'm laughing too.
I started hanging out with a coworker who had told me she was 18, and things seemed to be going well. I then found out from one of my slightly higher ups that she wasn't 18, that she was 17. I don't know about other states, but in Michigan, that kind of thing is frowned upon. Now, there wasn't anything to actually worry about, as we didn't have sex, and that's where the law has a problem with it.
That she had lied to me didn't have the normal affect it would usually have on me-- I usually would end a relationship of any kind after someone has lied to me. or at the very least, whatever trust I had given them would no longer be given. However, in this case, I didn't care. Come to find out later that she had started seeing another co-worker, saying the same thing, and found out that she and I were never actually dating, which was fine with me. I fel sorry for my co-worker, as he now has to deal with her, and she thinks that she and him are dating (Ahh the drama that unfolds at Meijer)
Came to realize that I didn't care that she lied, or that we weren't dating, because I love another girl, whom I had thoroughly burned a bridge with and can't contact anymore.
In other news, I began focusing on a new cashier at meijer, and we hung out last night. I knew that she had a boyfriend, and that he was/is very controlling. What I found out last night was that he hits her. I had her stay the night, and today before she left, she promised she would go to the police. I'm going to talk with her again tonight, and if she hasn't gone to the police yet, then I'll take her myself tomorrow.
Life has been interesting these past few weeks. I sometimes feel that God is using me for his own amusement, but that's okay, because I'm laughing too.
20051003
20050926
Let The Fun Begin
I've been keeping this to myself. Well, I've told a few people, but no one in the blog family knows. I was evicted from my current residence "for the safety of the other tenants." This despite the fact that it was the house manager who decided to describe various ways he wanted to hurt me. Despite the fact that I never once threatened anyone in this house. I don't like how the owners handled it. They kicked me out without first hearing my side of things. Didn't even bother to ask the other roommates. On the word of only one person, I'm getting kicked out. So I've found a new place to live. I likely won't have internet much longer, as I refuse to do the chores at a place I've been kicked out of. So wreak havic in the comments. I need something to read when I get back.
Can God Create A Rock So Big That He Can't Lift It?
So I was googling the title of Oolom Caloophid's second book in his trilogy of philosophical blockbusters, Some More of God's Greatest Mistakes, and I came accross this discussion thread, which poses the question you see in the title. Upon reading some of the responses, this one struck me as the funniest, and I thought I'd share it with you. Yes, I do have too much free time. No, I don't need to be given something to do.
"Wow. I had never considered such a question before? Is it possible? Is it paradox? Does it imply a limit to omnipotence or an omnipotence that transcends logic? Think of the ramifications?
If God could do that, could he make himself forget that he had done it?
If the rock was too heavy for Him, could God create another being strong enough to lift it?
If the other being did lift it, could God make the rock heavier and squash him?
If God did that, which would be kind of mean, really, would he feel guilty?
If He did feel guilty, could he change the way he truly felt?
If He could change the way He truly felt, could he just give himself eternal psychic orgasms?
If God could give himself eternal psychic orgasms, would each one be as good as th efirst or would they get old after a while?
If eternal psychic orgasms get old after a while, could God just vibrate the Universe, you know, just until the right deity came along?"
"Wow. I had never considered such a question before? Is it possible? Is it paradox? Does it imply a limit to omnipotence or an omnipotence that transcends logic? Think of the ramifications?
If God could do that, could he make himself forget that he had done it?
If the rock was too heavy for Him, could God create another being strong enough to lift it?
If the other being did lift it, could God make the rock heavier and squash him?
If God did that, which would be kind of mean, really, would he feel guilty?
If He did feel guilty, could he change the way he truly felt?
If He could change the way He truly felt, could he just give himself eternal psychic orgasms?
If God could give himself eternal psychic orgasms, would each one be as good as th efirst or would they get old after a while?
If eternal psychic orgasms get old after a while, could God just vibrate the Universe, you know, just until the right deity came along?"
20050925
Wounds Run Deep -- and now I myself am Chasing Amy.
See previous post for Silent Bob's story about Amy if you need the Chasing Amy reference. His story is similar to mine only in that we both fucked up.
Why is it that when someone close to us hurts us deeply; to the point of ripping our heart to shreds, even if they didn't mean to-- Why is it we do the one thing that makes it worse for us? Why is it always that that one thing seems like the best choice?
I made a mistake, and I can't take it back. I meant what I said. I still felt betrayed, and it felt like they didn't really mean what they had told me-- their actions told me completely different things than what their words did. I always thought that I could override my heart with logic. It's amazing how logical the heart can sound in times of pain and hurt. I thought that since the thoughts I had weren't resultant from anger that they were from my mind, and not my heart. I felt like I had been betrayed, and it was probably just my imagination, but I did the worst thing I could think of-- I broke a promise and betrayed them. Their betrayal, if that's really what it was, did not deserve the response I gave. I screwed up, and now I'm going to pay the price for it.
Why is it that when someone close to us hurts us deeply; to the point of ripping our heart to shreds, even if they didn't mean to-- Why is it we do the one thing that makes it worse for us? Why is it always that that one thing seems like the best choice?
I made a mistake, and I can't take it back. I meant what I said. I still felt betrayed, and it felt like they didn't really mean what they had told me-- their actions told me completely different things than what their words did. I always thought that I could override my heart with logic. It's amazing how logical the heart can sound in times of pain and hurt. I thought that since the thoughts I had weren't resultant from anger that they were from my mind, and not my heart. I felt like I had been betrayed, and it was probably just my imagination, but I did the worst thing I could think of-- I broke a promise and betrayed them. Their betrayal, if that's really what it was, did not deserve the response I gave. I screwed up, and now I'm going to pay the price for it.
Silent Bob on Chasing Amy
This was taken almost directly from this site. With some of it cut out as it didn't apply to the story.
Silent Bob: [to Holden] So there's me an' Amy, and we're all inseparable, right? Just big time in love. And then about four months in, I ask about the ex-boyfriend. Dumb move, I know, but you know how it is - you don't really want to know, but you just have to... stupid guy bullshit. Anyway she starts telling me all about him - how they dated for years, lived together, her mother likes me better, blah, blah, blah - and I'm okay. But then she tells me that a couple times, he brought other people to bed with them - ménage a tois, I believe it's called. Now this just blows my mind. I mean, I'm not used to that sort of thing, right? I was raised Catholic.
So I get weirded out, and just start blasting her, right? This is the only way I can deal with it - by calling her a slut, and telling her that she was used - I mean, I'm out for blood I want to hurt her - because I don't know how to deal with what I'm feeling. And I'm like "What the fuck is wrong with you?" and she's telling me that it was that time, in that place, and she didn't do anything wrong, so she's not gonna apologize. So I tell her it's over, and I walk.
It was a mistake. I wasn't disgusted with her, I was afraid. At that moment, I felt small - like I'd lacked experience, like I'd never be on her level or never be enough for her or something. And what I didn't get was that she didn't care. She wasn't looking for that guy anymore. She was looking for me, for the Bob. But by the time I realized this, it was too late, you know. She'd moved on, and all I had to show for it was some foolish pride, which then gave way to regret. She was the girl, I know that now. But I pushed her away...
[Silent Bob lights a cigarette]
Silent Bob: So I've spent every day since then chasing Amy...
[takes a drag from his smoke]
Silent Bob: So to speak.
Silent Bob: [to Holden] So there's me an' Amy, and we're all inseparable, right? Just big time in love. And then about four months in, I ask about the ex-boyfriend. Dumb move, I know, but you know how it is - you don't really want to know, but you just have to... stupid guy bullshit. Anyway she starts telling me all about him - how they dated for years, lived together, her mother likes me better, blah, blah, blah - and I'm okay. But then she tells me that a couple times, he brought other people to bed with them - ménage a tois, I believe it's called. Now this just blows my mind. I mean, I'm not used to that sort of thing, right? I was raised Catholic.
So I get weirded out, and just start blasting her, right? This is the only way I can deal with it - by calling her a slut, and telling her that she was used - I mean, I'm out for blood I want to hurt her - because I don't know how to deal with what I'm feeling. And I'm like "What the fuck is wrong with you?" and she's telling me that it was that time, in that place, and she didn't do anything wrong, so she's not gonna apologize. So I tell her it's over, and I walk.
It was a mistake. I wasn't disgusted with her, I was afraid. At that moment, I felt small - like I'd lacked experience, like I'd never be on her level or never be enough for her or something. And what I didn't get was that she didn't care. She wasn't looking for that guy anymore. She was looking for me, for the Bob. But by the time I realized this, it was too late, you know. She'd moved on, and all I had to show for it was some foolish pride, which then gave way to regret. She was the girl, I know that now. But I pushed her away...
[Silent Bob lights a cigarette]
Silent Bob: So I've spent every day since then chasing Amy...
[takes a drag from his smoke]
Silent Bob: So to speak.
20050923
Google Talk Revisited
So I've finally had a chance to use google talk, and its a decent program-- not as nice as AIM with deadaim attachment or YIM, but its got potential, and I like to use it.
On another Instant Messenger feature, there is now a program called Tizzle Talk which translates everything you write into another dialect. My favorite to use it pirate, in which this bible verse goes from:
"'Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?' Jesus said to him, 'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it, You shall love your neighbor as yourself.'”
Becomes:
“'Teacher, I'll warrant ye, which is th' great commandment in th' law?' Jesus said t' that scurvey dog, 'Ye shall love th' Lord yer God with all yer heart, and with all yer soul, and with all yer mind. This is th' great and first commandment. Pass the grog! And a second is like it, Ye shall love yer neighbor as yourself.'”
There are also settings for ebonics, redneck, dubya, Jessica Simpson, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Engrish, Jacko, Nelly, Pig Laten, and Napoleon Dynomite. The makers are also adding more dialects, and soon to come appears to be Yoda, based on the current poll.
On another Instant Messenger feature, there is now a program called Tizzle Talk which translates everything you write into another dialect. My favorite to use it pirate, in which this bible verse goes from:
"'Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?' Jesus said to him, 'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it, You shall love your neighbor as yourself.'”
Becomes:
“'Teacher, I'll warrant ye, which is th' great commandment in th' law?' Jesus said t' that scurvey dog, 'Ye shall love th' Lord yer God with all yer heart, and with all yer soul, and with all yer mind. This is th' great and first commandment. Pass the grog! And a second is like it, Ye shall love yer neighbor as yourself.'”
There are also settings for ebonics, redneck, dubya, Jessica Simpson, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Engrish, Jacko, Nelly, Pig Laten, and Napoleon Dynomite. The makers are also adding more dialects, and soon to come appears to be Yoda, based on the current poll.
20050921
Simple Math
This was sent to me by a friend and colleage.
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb woman = affair Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC Smart boss + smart employee = profit Smart boss + dumb employee = production Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATH A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs. A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS STATISTICS A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
LONGEVITY Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, You're next. They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb woman = affair Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC Smart boss + smart employee = profit Smart boss + dumb employee = production Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATH A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs. A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS STATISTICS A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
LONGEVITY Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, You're next. They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
20050919
Yaaarrrr! It's National Talk Like a Pirate Day!
As ye know from readin' th' title of this here post, it be national talk like a pirate day. And by Blackbeard's sword, it be only fitting to give ye access to the Talk Like a Pirate website. Where ye lubbers can learn all about how to talk like a true buccaneer.
An' if ye be having trouble talkin' like a buccaneer, the bilge rats on tha' site have seen fit to provide a transla'or for even the thickest lubber.
An' if ye be having trouble talkin' like a buccaneer, the bilge rats on tha' site have seen fit to provide a transla'or for even the thickest lubber.
20050918
Is It Worth It?
The other day, my girl told me that she was sick, and that I shouldn't kiss her. Well, as I have a somewhat well developed immune system, I decided to take the risk, and kissed her anyway. Now I'm sick, too. So looking at it from a logical standpoint, it was fun to kiss her, but it wasn't fun to end up getting her cold. In the long term, I've also given my immune system something to attack so that it will remain strong, which is good. I guess in the end, that you have to decide-- I'm still not sure if it was worth it. But at the time I kissed her it was.
20050914
Happy Birthday Harvey!!!
So its my blogfather's birthday, and while I'd love to send him some gifts, I just recently burned my entire pr0n collection by accident. Ah, the things we do when we're drunk . . . So, I got this for him instead:
Happy Birthday Blogdad
Happy Birthday Blogdad
20050912
updates and whatever and more dating tips
Okay, I haven't really updated, not sure if posting gaps are going to get worse or not, my dating tips do work as is now proven by the fact that I'm dating a girl-- not the one I was flirting with that I mentioned, but another girl. Rather than give more tips, I'm just going to tell you what works for me. It may not work for you, but it should help you develop confidence, which is an important key to developing attraction. Here's an IM conversation with a friend which should explain my technique rather well. This is posted with his permission.
Custos Honor (11:57:08 PM): dude a friend quoted me in his AIM status
bluelitespecia (11:57:24 PM): oh, what he say?
Custos Honor (11:57:38 PM): Custos Honor (10:48:06 PM): they say that they want a "nice" guy-- but what they really want is the "alpha male" ... My friend Andrew Boykin on the female dating agenda. Sleep well
bluelitespecia (11:57:42 PM): and Nathan quotes me sometimes too ><
bluelitespecia (11:58:00 PM): lol
bluelitespecia (11:58:18 PM): nice guy means they want an alpha male eh?
bluelitespecia (11:59:12 PM): brandon: i'll leave running that cable to you then, i gotta find the tv power cord
me: thats cool
me: no worries about running the wire at all, it'll be a sinch
me: ... or an explosive fireball of battery acid.
Custos Honor (12:02:24 AM): heh
Custos Honor (12:02:43 AM): yeah I've seen that quote
Custos Honor (12:08:18 AM): and yeah, women go for the alpha male type
bluelitespecia (12:08:33 AM): what’s the definition of that
Custos Honor (12:08:45 AM): confidence
Custos Honor (12:08:49 AM): lots of confidence
bluelitespecia (12:09:14 AM): LOL, reminds me of one of those male enhancement commercials
Custos Honor (12:09:16 AM): you gotta tease the girl-- juvenile tactics tend to work
bluelitespecia (12:11:21 AM): hmmmm, what kind of tease?
Custos Honor (12:11:33 AM): flirting mostly
Custos Honor (12:11:44 AM): eye contact-- touching
bluelitespecia (12:12:00 AM): most excellent
Custos Honor (12:12:18 AM): being able to flirt with your eyes is a plus
bluelitespecia (12:12:59 AM): I got eye contact down, more flirting comes with more confidence, but then I’m not sure if they even want to be touched
Custos Honor (12:13:32 AM): start with poking
Custos Honor (12:13:42 AM): not hard poking, more tickling kind of poking
bluelitespecia (12:13:58 AM): hmmmm
Custos Honor (12:14:34 AM): another tactic-- when their back is to you, walk up behind them quietly, get right up to their ear, and softly say "boo"
bluelitespecia (12:14:56 AM): ninja sneakiness, excellent, I have that
Custos Honor (12:15:10 AM): alternately, if they see you, continue to walk up to them poke them lightly, and say "poke"
Custos Honor (12:16:10 AM): if you're walking, casually put your arm around their shoulders for a couple seconds, then lightly rub their back and go back to walking normally
Custos Honor (12:16:54 AM): tickling a girl's sides is a good way to flirt-- provided she's ticklish-- if she says stop in a way that you know means stop, then you stop, other wise feel free to tickle her every now and again
bluelitespecia (12:17:09 AM): now that’s something you'd do to a girl that your going out with, and not some random girl off the street
Custos Honor (12:17:44 AM): you don't have to be dating her
Custos Honor (12:17:53 AM): but i wouldn't recommend doing it to strangers either
Custos Honor (12:18:07 AM): girls that you know somewhat
bluelitespecia (12:18:17 AM): alright
bluelitespecia (12:20:06 AM): so need to work on some pick up lines oO
Custos Honor (12:20:10 AM): no
bluelitespecia (12:20:15 AM): heh
Custos Honor (12:20:23 AM): pick up lines aren't needed
Custos Honor (12:24:00 AM): and actually if you don't do those right, can get you slapped
bluelitespecia (12:24:25 AM): lol, great
bluelitespecia (12:24:33 AM): then I’ll choose the path without pick up lines
Custos Honor (12:29:16 AM): my now g/f posted this before she came over today: "well ok so i like this guy but he doesn’t know i like him but what can i do or say what ever"
bluelitespecia (12:30:34 AM): ah, very cool
Custos Honor (12:30:49 AM): I’m thinking she posted that about me
bluelitespecia (12:31:00 AM): well, yeah, seeing as she’s your GF now
Custos Honor (12:31:04 AM): i could be wrong, but I doubt it
bluelitespecia (12:31:27 AM): there’s your alpha male confidence
Custos Honor (12:31:51 AM): its a nice thing to have
bluelitespecia (12:31:57 AM): indeed
Custos Honor (12:33:17 AM): its too bad you live so far away, otherwise you could come hang out and I could give you some pointers
bluelitespecia (12:34:03 AM): its a same i don't spend more time with the ladies, but i don't know any that take robotics... or electrics ><
Custos Honor (12:34:29 AM): well, i perfected my technique at work and on CU campus
bluelitespecia (12:34:44 AM): lots of opportunity I’m sure
Custos Honor (12:35:48 AM): oh yeah
Custos Honor (12:36:20 AM): especially when you live in the only guys dorm on campus that shares two of three lounges with the next door girl's dorm
bluelitespecia (12:36:50 AM): heck yeah
Custos Honor (11:57:08 PM): dude a friend quoted me in his AIM status
bluelitespecia (11:57:24 PM): oh, what he say?
Custos Honor (11:57:38 PM): Custos Honor (10:48:06 PM): they say that they want a "nice" guy-- but what they really want is the "alpha male" ... My friend Andrew Boykin on the female dating agenda. Sleep well
bluelitespecia (11:57:42 PM): and Nathan quotes me sometimes too ><
bluelitespecia (11:58:00 PM): lol
bluelitespecia (11:58:18 PM): nice guy means they want an alpha male eh?
bluelitespecia (11:59:12 PM): brandon: i'll leave running that cable to you then, i gotta find the tv power cord
me: thats cool
me: no worries about running the wire at all, it'll be a sinch
me: ... or an explosive fireball of battery acid.
Custos Honor (12:02:24 AM): heh
Custos Honor (12:02:43 AM): yeah I've seen that quote
Custos Honor (12:08:18 AM): and yeah, women go for the alpha male type
bluelitespecia (12:08:33 AM): what’s the definition of that
Custos Honor (12:08:45 AM): confidence
Custos Honor (12:08:49 AM): lots of confidence
bluelitespecia (12:09:14 AM): LOL, reminds me of one of those male enhancement commercials
Custos Honor (12:09:16 AM): you gotta tease the girl-- juvenile tactics tend to work
bluelitespecia (12:11:21 AM): hmmmm, what kind of tease?
Custos Honor (12:11:33 AM): flirting mostly
Custos Honor (12:11:44 AM): eye contact-- touching
bluelitespecia (12:12:00 AM): most excellent
Custos Honor (12:12:18 AM): being able to flirt with your eyes is a plus
bluelitespecia (12:12:59 AM): I got eye contact down, more flirting comes with more confidence, but then I’m not sure if they even want to be touched
Custos Honor (12:13:32 AM): start with poking
Custos Honor (12:13:42 AM): not hard poking, more tickling kind of poking
bluelitespecia (12:13:58 AM): hmmmm
Custos Honor (12:14:34 AM): another tactic-- when their back is to you, walk up behind them quietly, get right up to their ear, and softly say "boo"
bluelitespecia (12:14:56 AM): ninja sneakiness, excellent, I have that
Custos Honor (12:15:10 AM): alternately, if they see you, continue to walk up to them poke them lightly, and say "poke"
Custos Honor (12:16:10 AM): if you're walking, casually put your arm around their shoulders for a couple seconds, then lightly rub their back and go back to walking normally
Custos Honor (12:16:54 AM): tickling a girl's sides is a good way to flirt-- provided she's ticklish-- if she says stop in a way that you know means stop, then you stop, other wise feel free to tickle her every now and again
bluelitespecia (12:17:09 AM): now that’s something you'd do to a girl that your going out with, and not some random girl off the street
Custos Honor (12:17:44 AM): you don't have to be dating her
Custos Honor (12:17:53 AM): but i wouldn't recommend doing it to strangers either
Custos Honor (12:18:07 AM): girls that you know somewhat
bluelitespecia (12:18:17 AM): alright
bluelitespecia (12:20:06 AM): so need to work on some pick up lines oO
Custos Honor (12:20:10 AM): no
bluelitespecia (12:20:15 AM): heh
Custos Honor (12:20:23 AM): pick up lines aren't needed
Custos Honor (12:24:00 AM): and actually if you don't do those right, can get you slapped
bluelitespecia (12:24:25 AM): lol, great
bluelitespecia (12:24:33 AM): then I’ll choose the path without pick up lines
Custos Honor (12:29:16 AM): my now g/f posted this before she came over today: "well ok so i like this guy but he doesn’t know i like him but what can i do or say what ever"
bluelitespecia (12:30:34 AM): ah, very cool
Custos Honor (12:30:49 AM): I’m thinking she posted that about me
bluelitespecia (12:31:00 AM): well, yeah, seeing as she’s your GF now
Custos Honor (12:31:04 AM): i could be wrong, but I doubt it
bluelitespecia (12:31:27 AM): there’s your alpha male confidence
Custos Honor (12:31:51 AM): its a nice thing to have
bluelitespecia (12:31:57 AM): indeed
Custos Honor (12:33:17 AM): its too bad you live so far away, otherwise you could come hang out and I could give you some pointers
bluelitespecia (12:34:03 AM): its a same i don't spend more time with the ladies, but i don't know any that take robotics... or electrics ><
Custos Honor (12:34:29 AM): well, i perfected my technique at work and on CU campus
bluelitespecia (12:34:44 AM): lots of opportunity I’m sure
Custos Honor (12:35:48 AM): oh yeah
Custos Honor (12:36:20 AM): especially when you live in the only guys dorm on campus that shares two of three lounges with the next door girl's dorm
bluelitespecia (12:36:50 AM): heck yeah
20050908
I Need A Side Holster
I'm trying to find a good side holster for a Smith and Wesson Model 29. Yes, Dirty Harry's gun. I want something more western looking-- something in leather. But I've having trouble finding holsters online, and I'm not really sure if the ones I've seen would fit my gun, as I don't have the gun quite yet. Any help would be much appreciated.
20050907
more games for boring times at work
Zorro tank-- http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/263567
you're a tank, and your job is to progress through levels and blow stuff up-- just make sure you choose the right angle to fire your weapon. there are upgrades along the way, and a rather hard boss at the end.
you're a tank, and your job is to progress through levels and blow stuff up-- just make sure you choose the right angle to fire your weapon. there are upgrades along the way, and a rather hard boss at the end.
Movie Idea
They should take the knowledge given from video games, and make a movie out of it. If done right, it would be one hell of a movie.
Things You Can Learn From Video Games
1. There is no problem that cannot be overcome by violence.
2. You can overcome most adversaries simply by having enough quarters.
3. If it moves, KILL IT!
4. Piloting any vehicle is simple and requires no training.
5. One lone "good guy" can defeat an indeterminate number of "bad guys."
A. "Bad guys" move in predictable patterns.
B. Except for "bosses," most "bad guys" can be dispatched with one hit.
C. You often fare better against a large mob of "bad guys" then against a "boss" in one on one combat.
6. "Bosses" always hire henchmen weaker then they are to do their 'muscle work'.
7. Make sure you eat all food lying on the ground. It will heal you.
8. You can smash things and get away with it.
A. Smashing things doesn't hurt.
B. Many nice things are hidden inside other things.
9. Cybernetics are our friends.
10. When driving, you can knock other vehicles off the road and get away with it.
11. If someone dies, they disappear.
12. Money is frequently found lying on the streets.
13. All shopkeepers carry high-tech weaponry.
14. If you get mad enough, you can fight even better than normal.
15. If it's on the ground, you should get it. It may be useful later.
16. Repulsive, ugly, cannabalistic, evil beings have just as much right to be loved as heroic fighters.
17. The operation of a weapon is a simple and obvious procedure.
18. You never run out of ammunition, just grenades.
19. No matter how long you fight, you can always fight again.
20. Death is reversible (but only for you!).
21. Ninjas are common, and fight in public frequently.
22. Whenever huge fat evil men are about to die, they begin flashing red or yellow.
23. When you are reborn, you drop out of the sky and are completely invincible for a short time.
24. Although the enemy always has more aircraft than you, they fly in elaborate patterns which make it easier for you to shoot them all down.
25. All martial arts women wear revealing clothes and have great bodies.
26. All martial arts men have rippling muscles and angry expressions.
27. The enemy always leaves weapons or powerups lying around for no reason other than so their bitter enemy can pick them up and defeat them with it.
28. Shoot everything. If it blows up or dies, it was evil.
29. Carpe diem! You only live three times!
30. The most powerful fighters always wait until you have acheived a near-impossible, flawless win record and/or killed a certain number of opponents before they appear in your presence and beat the crap out of you.
31. You sustain injury if you shoot innocents.
32. 1000 - 1 odds against you is NOT a problem.
33. gang members frequently all look the same, and often have the same names.
34. When racing vehicles, do not worry if your vehicle crashes and explodes. A new vehicle will appear in its place.
Things You Can Learn From Video Games
1. There is no problem that cannot be overcome by violence.
2. You can overcome most adversaries simply by having enough quarters.
3. If it moves, KILL IT!
4. Piloting any vehicle is simple and requires no training.
5. One lone "good guy" can defeat an indeterminate number of "bad guys."
A. "Bad guys" move in predictable patterns.
B. Except for "bosses," most "bad guys" can be dispatched with one hit.
C. You often fare better against a large mob of "bad guys" then against a "boss" in one on one combat.
6. "Bosses" always hire henchmen weaker then they are to do their 'muscle work'.
7. Make sure you eat all food lying on the ground. It will heal you.
8. You can smash things and get away with it.
A. Smashing things doesn't hurt.
B. Many nice things are hidden inside other things.
9. Cybernetics are our friends.
10. When driving, you can knock other vehicles off the road and get away with it.
11. If someone dies, they disappear.
12. Money is frequently found lying on the streets.
13. All shopkeepers carry high-tech weaponry.
14. If you get mad enough, you can fight even better than normal.
15. If it's on the ground, you should get it. It may be useful later.
16. Repulsive, ugly, cannabalistic, evil beings have just as much right to be loved as heroic fighters.
17. The operation of a weapon is a simple and obvious procedure.
18. You never run out of ammunition, just grenades.
19. No matter how long you fight, you can always fight again.
20. Death is reversible (but only for you!).
21. Ninjas are common, and fight in public frequently.
22. Whenever huge fat evil men are about to die, they begin flashing red or yellow.
23. When you are reborn, you drop out of the sky and are completely invincible for a short time.
24. Although the enemy always has more aircraft than you, they fly in elaborate patterns which make it easier for you to shoot them all down.
25. All martial arts women wear revealing clothes and have great bodies.
26. All martial arts men have rippling muscles and angry expressions.
27. The enemy always leaves weapons or powerups lying around for no reason other than so their bitter enemy can pick them up and defeat them with it.
28. Shoot everything. If it blows up or dies, it was evil.
29. Carpe diem! You only live three times!
30. The most powerful fighters always wait until you have acheived a near-impossible, flawless win record and/or killed a certain number of opponents before they appear in your presence and beat the crap out of you.
31. You sustain injury if you shoot innocents.
32. 1000 - 1 odds against you is NOT a problem.
33. gang members frequently all look the same, and often have the same names.
34. When racing vehicles, do not worry if your vehicle crashes and explodes. A new vehicle will appear in its place.
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