Okay, I'm currently working on a secret project, but I'm not yet ready to show it to the rest of the world. (it isn't finished yet.) So until then, I'm posting some quotes from one of my favorite television shows. my favorites are bolded.
House-isms:
Wilson – “How'd you get here?”
House – “By osmosis.”
- Skin Deep
“Catfight and cataplexy on the catwalk. Cool.”
- Skin Deep
Cameron – “What are you looking for?”
House – “Same as you. Love, acceptance, a solid return in investment.”
- Distractions
Weber – “You can’t test anything on an abnormal brain.”
House – “That’s so close-minded, He’s not ‘abnormal.’ He’s special.”
- Distractions
Cameron – “Could pain medication cause an orgasm?”
House – “I wish.”
- Distractions
Cameron – “His brain is like a waiter that’s got too many…”
House – “Hey! I do the metaphors.”
- Distractions
“Wow. It's a big jump from ‘Infidelity is wrong’ to ‘Do her.’”
- Need to Know
“Mommy does everything for her family these days. Even swallows their pills.”
- Need to Know
Chase – “We’ve got an MRI scheduled in twenty minutes. Earliest Foreman could get the machine.”
House – “I teach you to lie and cheat and steal and the second my back is turned you wait in line!”
- Failure to Communicate
Wilson – “Did you know your phone is dead? Do you ever recharge the batteries?”
House – “They recharge? I just keep buying new phones.”
- Failure to Communicate
Foreman – “She a regular at OTB. Somehow I don't see her holding down a nine-to-five and going to PTA meetings.”
House – “I was there and I have a nine-to-three job.”
- Deception
“What else turns you on? Drugs? Casual sex? Rough sex? Casual rough sex? I'm a doctor, I need to know.”
- Deception
“Sorry I missed that. White count’s been down since the Ricky Martin concert. Some cholo kicked me in the head.”
- Deception
Stacy – “Where’s Chase?”
House – “He’s too busy to service you until after work. I’ve got a few minutes, though. Feel free to say something like, ‘What’ll we do with the time left over?’”
- The Mistake
“One caveat: I’ve now moved past threesomes. I’m into foursomes.”
- The Mistake
“Steve McQueen without hair? It's a blessing he died young.”
- Hunting
“Dying people lie too. Wish they’d worked less, been nicer, opened orphanages for kittens. If you really want to do something, you do it. You don’t save it for a sound bite.”
- Hunting
“You know me. Hostility makes me shrink up like a… I can’t think of a non-sexual metaphor.”
- Spin
“What makes a guy start drooling? Chase, were you wearing your short-shorts?”
- Spin
Cameron – “Who was that?”
House – “Angelina Jolie. I call her mom. Who thinks that’s sexy?”- Daddy’s Boy
Foreman – “You have no evidence to support a poisoning diagnosis.”
House – “Which is why it’s going to be so cool when I turn out to be right.”
- Daddy’s Boy
“You -- Intravenous broad spectrum antibiotics. You -- Get cervical, thoracic and lumbar T2 weighted fast spin echo MRIs. And you -- Track down all the other Richie Riches who went to Jamaica. See if any of them have the shocks, the trots or the hots.”
- Daddy’s Boy
“Welcome aboard the good ship ass kisser. Nice day for a sail.”
- TB Or Not TB
“You ever notice all of the self-sacrificing women in history, Joan of Arc, Mother Theresa…can’t think of any others, they all die alone. Men, on the other hand, get so much tang it’s crazy.”
- TB Or Not TB
“If I tried a scheme like this, you’d get that nasty wrinkly face and screech like a hyena. Very sexy, I admit.”
- Humpty Dumpty
“Hey, I can be a jerk to people I haven’t slept with. I am that good.”- Humpty Dumpty
“I’m happy to report that we are now so in sync, we’re actually wearing each other’s underwear.”
- Humpty Dumpty
“Union rules. I can’t check out this guy’s seeping gonorrhea this close to lunch.”
- Autopsy
Chase – “If she’s never kissed a boy, it’s a fair bet she’s never had sex.”
House – “Tell that to all the hookers who won’t kiss me on the mouth.”
- Autopsy
“Is it still illegal to perform an autopsy on a living person?”
- Autopsy
“What’s with hiring a male secretary? J-Date not working out?”
- Acceptance
“Talk to Cuddy. She’s got me going to Mercer State Prison, Capital Sentences Unit. She’s trying to impress her new sex-retary.”
- Acceptance
Stacy – “If you didn’t want me working here, why didn’t you just say so?”
House – “I don’t want you working right here. In my office. But anywhere else in the building is fine. It’s a really big hospital.”
- Acceptance
Foreman – “Blood gas came back with a pH of 7.28, and a decreased HCO3.”
House – “Which means two things. Most importantly, Cameron was wrong about the bi-carb. Less significantly, we have a brand new symptom. Who’s chubby?”
- Acceptance
