20050723
I Can't Help Being Irresistable . . .
Despite everything I try, people can't help but fall in love with me. I'm not sure if its my stunning good looks, my sexy voice, or my personality (Just ask R.R.) but its getting really tiring . . .
20050722
Making the work day go by just a little faster
okay, so your at work, browsing through blogs that haven't updated in the five minutes since your last viewing. There is a solution for this.
Try out the Evil Cube, your work day will pass just a little faster with it.
Try out the Evil Cube, your work day will pass just a little faster with it.
The Buffalo Theory
I've seen this a few times thoughout my net exploration, and decided that it was time to share it with others.
A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is being hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.
In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.
In this way, regular consumption of alcohol eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few shots and a couple of beers.
A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is being hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.
In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.
In this way, regular consumption of alcohol eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few shots and a couple of beers.
Dating 101- pt. 2
A lot of guys seem to think that attraction is when one person wants what another person has. Some think of attraction as the result of being good-looking or otherwise "attractive". In fact a lotof people confuse attraction with "attractive". When I think of the concept of attraction, I think
of it primarily as an emotion. It seems to me that it's more a combination of powerful emotions that come together to form a very, very special new SUPER-emotion.
It's homework time.
1) Write down all of the things that should work
when it comes to making women feel attracted to
you. This might include buying gifts and food,
giving constant compliments, and acting "nice".
2) Write down your own personal experience of what
actually happens when you do these "socially
correct things that mom taught you" with women.
3) Pretend for a moment that everything you've
been taught about women is wrong. Further, pretend
that women are actually wired in reverse. If this
were true, what kinds of things would result in a
woman feeling attraction for a man?
of it primarily as an emotion. It seems to me that it's more a combination of powerful emotions that come together to form a very, very special new SUPER-emotion.
It's homework time.
1) Write down all of the things that should work
when it comes to making women feel attracted to
you. This might include buying gifts and food,
giving constant compliments, and acting "nice".
2) Write down your own personal experience of what
actually happens when you do these "socially
correct things that mom taught you" with women.
3) Pretend for a moment that everything you've
been taught about women is wrong. Further, pretend
that women are actually wired in reverse. If this
were true, what kinds of things would result in a
woman feeling attraction for a man?
20050720
Marine Corps Shortens Slogan To 'The Few'
Just for the record, it's all his fault:
Lord Salens
WASHINGTON, DC—In light of recruiting shortfalls, a near standstill in re-enlistment, and rock-bottom troop morale, U.S. Marine Corps Commandant Gen. Michael Hagee announced Monday that the Marines will alter their unofficial slogan, abbreviating it to the more accurate "The Few." Hagee said, "We are still the Marines, the premier combat arm of the U.S. military." The Marines will also change their motto to Semper Fidelis, Sic Non Sapienti, or "Always Faithful, But This Is Just Ridiculous."From the Onion,
Lord Salens
The Many Faces of Me
starts with the oldest, and procedes to my current style, that with a fu manchu.
20050719
Michigan Laws
Unless it states that it was repealed, these laws are still in effect in Michigan.
A woman isn't allowed to cut her own hair without her husband's permission.
There is a 3 cent bounty for each starling and 10 cent bounty for each crow killed in any village, township, or city in the state.
It is legal for a robber to file a law suit, if he or she got hurt in your house.
You may not swear in front of women and children. (Repealed)
Any person over the age of 12 may have a license for a handgun as long as he/she has not been convicted of a felony.
It is illegal to kill a dog using a decompression chamber.
Adultery is illegal, but can only be punished upon a complaint by the affected husband or wife. Furthermore, no prosecution may take place if the offense was committed over a year from when a complaint was made.
No man may seduce and corrupt an unmarried girl, or else he risks five years in prison.
Cars may not be sold on Sunday.
Detroit Laws
Couples are banned from making love in an automobile unless the act takes place while the vehicle is parked on the couple's own property.
Willfully destroying your old radio is prohibited.
It is illegal for a man to scowl at his wife on Sunday.
It is illegal to let your pig run free in Detroit unless it has a ring in its nose. According to history and animal husbandry, it prevents them from "rooting" in the ground for their food.
Security guards at Joe Louis Arena will confiscate any item they feel might be thrown onto the ice. Furthermore, any person seen throwing an octopus onto the ice at a Red Wings game will be taken to jail.
Putt-putt golf courses must close by 1:00 AM.
Get the full text of this law.
Apparently the good folks in Detroit did not quite know what ‘new’ meant. The city took it upon themselves to state that ‘new’ bedding must be of all new material.
Grand Haven Laws
No person shall throw an abandoned hoop skirt into any street or on any sidewalk, under penalty of a five- dollar fine for each offense.
Harper Woods Laws
It is illegal to paint sparrows to sell them as parakeets.
Kalamazoo Laws
It is against the law to serenade your girlfriend.
Rochester Laws
All bathing suits must have been inspected by the head of police.
Soo Laws
Smoking while in bed is illegal.
Wayland Laws
Anyone can keep their cow on Main Street downtown at a cost of 3 cents per day.
A woman isn't allowed to cut her own hair without her husband's permission.
There is a 3 cent bounty for each starling and 10 cent bounty for each crow killed in any village, township, or city in the state.
It is legal for a robber to file a law suit, if he or she got hurt in your house.
You may not swear in front of women and children. (Repealed)
Any person over the age of 12 may have a license for a handgun as long as he/she has not been convicted of a felony.
It is illegal to kill a dog using a decompression chamber.
Adultery is illegal, but can only be punished upon a complaint by the affected husband or wife. Furthermore, no prosecution may take place if the offense was committed over a year from when a complaint was made.
No man may seduce and corrupt an unmarried girl, or else he risks five years in prison.
Cars may not be sold on Sunday.
Detroit Laws
Couples are banned from making love in an automobile unless the act takes place while the vehicle is parked on the couple's own property.
Willfully destroying your old radio is prohibited.
It is illegal for a man to scowl at his wife on Sunday.
It is illegal to let your pig run free in Detroit unless it has a ring in its nose. According to history and animal husbandry, it prevents them from "rooting" in the ground for their food.
Security guards at Joe Louis Arena will confiscate any item they feel might be thrown onto the ice. Furthermore, any person seen throwing an octopus onto the ice at a Red Wings game will be taken to jail.
Putt-putt golf courses must close by 1:00 AM.
Get the full text of this law.
Apparently the good folks in Detroit did not quite know what ‘new’ meant. The city took it upon themselves to state that ‘new’ bedding must be of all new material.
Grand Haven Laws
No person shall throw an abandoned hoop skirt into any street or on any sidewalk, under penalty of a five- dollar fine for each offense.
Harper Woods Laws
It is illegal to paint sparrows to sell them as parakeets.
Kalamazoo Laws
It is against the law to serenade your girlfriend.
Rochester Laws
All bathing suits must have been inspected by the head of police.
Soo Laws
Smoking while in bed is illegal.
Wayland Laws
Anyone can keep their cow on Main Street downtown at a cost of 3 cents per day.
Stupid Criminal of the day
John Schieman, 37, thought the best time to steal a car would be when its owner was getting out. As his would-be-victim, Robin Van Bortle, 32, was attaching The Club, to her steering wheel, Schieman made his move. Startled, the astute woman reacting by beating Schieman over the head with the antitheft device. The budding criminal was charged with robbery, assault, and grand larceny.
Harry Potter 6
I finished reading Harry Potter 6. Its a good book, I really enjoyed it. My favorite charactor dies in this one, and Harry finally finds love. Ron finally snogs a girl, and Hermionee is as brainy as ever, though is shown up by another classmate in one of her classes. We find out how it is that Voldemort has been able to survive, and are once again reminded what the most powerful magic is. We learn what it feels like to aparate, and find out more about Snape. Once again, they need a new Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher. And it was unexpected as to who the Half-Blood Prince is.
If you haven't started this series yet, you really should do so. It is one of the finer book series that I've read.
If you haven't started this series yet, you really should do so. It is one of the finer book series that I've read.
20050715
Interesting Note
Today was the release date for Harry Potter 6. I'm anxiously awaiting my copy to come in the mail, it should arrive today or tomorrow. I do find it interesting to note that this book was in the best seller's list months before it actually came out. Part of me will laugh if this latest book turns out to be completely horrible. The other parts will cry tears of great sadness if that's the case.
In other news
I don't know if I have a high tolerance now, but last night after having a two shots of whiskey, a shot of rum, and a jack and coke, I barely had a buzz for ten minutes. There's no way I had enough to drink so that I was pushed back into sober again, so I'm not sure what the deal was. Anyone have a clue as to what my problem is? Maybe I shouldn't drink for a while.
In other news
I don't know if I have a high tolerance now, but last night after having a two shots of whiskey, a shot of rum, and a jack and coke, I barely had a buzz for ten minutes. There's no way I had enough to drink so that I was pushed back into sober again, so I'm not sure what the deal was. Anyone have a clue as to what my problem is? Maybe I shouldn't drink for a while.
20050713
Today's Stupid Criminal
While most young people his age are pursuing higher education or making other plans to advance their careers, a 22 year-old Santa Cruz California genius was planning to vandalize a local store. According to his carefully crafted plan, the man would splash some green paint on the front doors of The Gap on Pacific Avenue and then make a clean getaway. It was a pretty good plan, as ignorant schemes go, but for one problem. The man was caught after trailing green paint from Pacific Avenue to his home on Mission Street.
Now our young rocket scientist must pay the city's clean-up costs, estimated to be $1,000, pay a $500 fine, serve 200 hours of community service and stay away from downtown.
Now our young rocket scientist must pay the city's clean-up costs, estimated to be $1,000, pay a $500 fine, serve 200 hours of community service and stay away from downtown.
Application to date your daughter
Sissy has posted an application so that her father might judge who is fit to date her.
APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER
NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless
accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage,
and current medical report from your doctor.
Note: I was adopted, so have no idea what my lineage is, only some clues as to what it isn't. From appearances, there is no african-american, middle-eastern, or asian heritage in my lineage.
NAME: Andrew (Aris Ravencroft) DATE OF BIRTH: 830423
HEIGHT: 5‘8” WEIGHT: 200 IQ: 125 GPA: 3.0
SOCIAL SECURITY #: I am not posting that online
DRIVERS LICENSE: see social security
BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES: N/A
HOME ADDRESS: See D.L. CITY/STATE: Grand Rapids ZIP: 49525
Do you have parents? Yes
Is one male and the other female? Yes
If No, explain:
______________________________________________________________
Number of years they have been married: 15-16
If less than your age, explain
Mother adopted me while she was single, and married my father when I turned 7, he in turn adopted me when I turned 12.
ACCESSORIES SECTION:
A. Do you own or have access to a van? No
B. A truck with oversized tires? No
C. A waterbed? No
D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? No
E. A tattoo? No
F. Do you have an earring: Used to, still have the hole.
(IF YOU ANSWERED "YES" TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION
AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)
ESSAY SECTION:
In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?
I am never late, I hate being late, and I hate when other people are late, in a way, it‘s breaking your word to the person you told you‘d be there at X time.
In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?
It means I‘m not going to touch your daughter in any way that would be dishonorable to her.
In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you?
No sex until marriage, which is fine with me.
REFERENCES SECTION:
Church you attend: Currently searching for a new church
How often you attend: more than once a week
When would be the best time to interview your:
father? Evening before ten
mother? Evening before ten
pastor? During the day
SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:
Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers
are confidential.
A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:
Any vital area
B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:
Neck
C: A woman's place is in the:
If married, then the home, raising kids, of which I would help as is part of my job as a father
D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:
Ask me anything, I have nothing to hide.
E. What do you want to do IF you grow up? Law Enforcement
F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:
Eyes and/or voice, depending on if I see her first, or hear her first.
F. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? No clue.
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.
Andrew (Aris Ravencroft)
Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)
Andrew‘s Southern Belle Momma -- Andrew’s Former Navy Father
Mother's Signature Father's Signature
Paster Bill -- George Walker Bush
Pastor/Priest/Rabbi State Representative/Congressman
Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and
non-sexual. Please allow four to six years for processing.
You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do
not try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would
cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be
notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases.
(you might watch your back)
To prepare yourself, start studying Daddy's Rules for Dating. (coming soon)
APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER
NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless
accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage,
and current medical report from your doctor.
Note: I was adopted, so have no idea what my lineage is, only some clues as to what it isn't. From appearances, there is no african-american, middle-eastern, or asian heritage in my lineage.
NAME: Andrew (Aris Ravencroft) DATE OF BIRTH: 830423
HEIGHT: 5‘8” WEIGHT: 200 IQ: 125 GPA: 3.0
SOCIAL SECURITY #: I am not posting that online
DRIVERS LICENSE: see social security
BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES: N/A
HOME ADDRESS: See D.L. CITY/STATE: Grand Rapids ZIP: 49525
Do you have parents? Yes
Is one male and the other female? Yes
If No, explain:
______________________________________________________________
Number of years they have been married: 15-16
If less than your age, explain
Mother adopted me while she was single, and married my father when I turned 7, he in turn adopted me when I turned 12.
ACCESSORIES SECTION:
A. Do you own or have access to a van? No
B. A truck with oversized tires? No
C. A waterbed? No
D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? No
E. A tattoo? No
F. Do you have an earring: Used to, still have the hole.
(IF YOU ANSWERED "YES" TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION
AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)
ESSAY SECTION:
In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?
I am never late, I hate being late, and I hate when other people are late, in a way, it‘s breaking your word to the person you told you‘d be there at X time.
In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?
It means I‘m not going to touch your daughter in any way that would be dishonorable to her.
In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you?
No sex until marriage, which is fine with me.
REFERENCES SECTION:
Church you attend: Currently searching for a new church
How often you attend: more than once a week
When would be the best time to interview your:
father? Evening before ten
mother? Evening before ten
pastor? During the day
SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:
Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers
are confidential.
A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:
Any vital area
B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:
Neck
C: A woman's place is in the:
If married, then the home, raising kids, of which I would help as is part of my job as a father
D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:
Ask me anything, I have nothing to hide.
E. What do you want to do IF you grow up? Law Enforcement
F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:
Eyes and/or voice, depending on if I see her first, or hear her first.
F. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? No clue.
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.
Andrew (Aris Ravencroft)
Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)
Andrew‘s Southern Belle Momma -- Andrew’s Former Navy Father
Mother's Signature Father's Signature
Paster Bill -- George Walker Bush
Pastor/Priest/Rabbi State Representative/Congressman
Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and
non-sexual. Please allow four to six years for processing.
You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do
not try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would
cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be
notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases.
(you might watch your back)
To prepare yourself, start studying Daddy's Rules for Dating. (coming soon)
20050712
United States Marine Corps
Mr Boynkin,
This is to inform you that effective 9 July 2005, you are released, and no longer have any contractual affiliations or obligations to any component of the United States Marine Corps. You are hereby seperated with the following discharge code: ZBD Refused to enlist-separation
The description of your discharge is "entry-level separation." Members of this status do not receive a discharge certificate or characterization of service at seperation.
If you eliminate your disqualification and desire to re-enter the United States Marine Corps, present this letter to the Commanding Officer of the nearest Marine Corps Recruiting Station.
Respectfully,
R.W. W.
Commanding Officer
Copy to:
RS LAN
This is to inform you that effective 9 July 2005, you are released, and no longer have any contractual affiliations or obligations to any component of the United States Marine Corps. You are hereby seperated with the following discharge code: ZBD Refused to enlist-separation
The description of your discharge is "entry-level separation." Members of this status do not receive a discharge certificate or characterization of service at seperation.
If you eliminate your disqualification and desire to re-enter the United States Marine Corps, present this letter to the Commanding Officer of the nearest Marine Corps Recruiting Station.
Respectfully,
R.W. W.
Commanding Officer
Copy to:
RS LAN
20050711
Fun With Mormons Pt. 1
Another thing you all may not know about me, since we know each other so very little, is that I have a strange fascination with religions. Now it mostly pertains to Occult type religions, as what is 'hidden', as the name applies, is quite interesting to me. Not that these religions have anything deeply spiritual to offer per se, nor do I follow the tenants of any religion except maybe the one dedicated to myself as Deity.
For the most part I have steered away from any Christian sects. It's not that I have a serious disliking for any of them, it's just that whenever I meet someone from one of those religions (such as the Mormons or Jehovah's Witnesses) they always seem so hellbent on converting me. Besides that I spent 9 years in Catholic school, with daily mass and lessons. Apparently though I missed all the good tidbits of information that would so entertain me in the last few years.
Take for instance the JWs. Did you know that windchimes are evil, as the Devil speaks through them? Or perhaps the Mormons who believe that the Native Americans came over to America on a wooden submarine that was 'tight unto like a dish'. Plus there's the shiney brass compass that god left for his followers one night to find their way.
Now the Mormons have been especially good to me. So far I've recieved a Book of Mormom, a King James Bible, some pamphlets, and a great 'Walking with Jesus' DVD. All this obtained from the comfort of my computer chair. It's unfortunate that to get the better material, I'll need to have them come by and try to convert me to their way. But there is the chance of obtaining more goodies such as their 'Pearl of Great Price', and 'the Doctrine and Covenants'. One of said books is supposedly quite fringe even for the Mormons from what I'm told.
To Be Continued,
Lord Salens
For the most part I have steered away from any Christian sects. It's not that I have a serious disliking for any of them, it's just that whenever I meet someone from one of those religions (such as the Mormons or Jehovah's Witnesses) they always seem so hellbent on converting me. Besides that I spent 9 years in Catholic school, with daily mass and lessons. Apparently though I missed all the good tidbits of information that would so entertain me in the last few years.
Take for instance the JWs. Did you know that windchimes are evil, as the Devil speaks through them? Or perhaps the Mormons who believe that the Native Americans came over to America on a wooden submarine that was 'tight unto like a dish'. Plus there's the shiney brass compass that god left for his followers one night to find their way.
Now the Mormons have been especially good to me. So far I've recieved a Book of Mormom, a King James Bible, some pamphlets, and a great 'Walking with Jesus' DVD. All this obtained from the comfort of my computer chair. It's unfortunate that to get the better material, I'll need to have them come by and try to convert me to their way. But there is the chance of obtaining more goodies such as their 'Pearl of Great Price', and 'the Doctrine and Covenants'. One of said books is supposedly quite fringe even for the Mormons from what I'm told.
To Be Continued,
Lord Salens
For all you Lord Salens Fans............
In response to Ravencroft's post, I'm not gone just lazy. You should see my own site... few and far between posts. For those who may not know me, here's a little insight into the Mind of Lord Salens:
I once thought it would be cool to design websites for a living and made some decent money, but what held me back was the fact that if it wasn't fun I didn't want to get back to it. It seems that something that so entertained me when I was screwing around, was just not so interesting when I was expected to me deadlines and such. Not that it wasn't an excellent creative outlet, it just wasn't enough of an outlet to keep me going.
That's the main reason I have my own domain and just randomly post things there. It's not likely to draw much attention and I can do it at my own pace.
But worry not for I am working on a new post that came to me while standing on my back deck... Fun With Mormons. Hopefully you'll be delighted.
In Nomine Salens,
Lord Salens
I once thought it would be cool to design websites for a living and made some decent money, but what held me back was the fact that if it wasn't fun I didn't want to get back to it. It seems that something that so entertained me when I was screwing around, was just not so interesting when I was expected to me deadlines and such. Not that it wasn't an excellent creative outlet, it just wasn't enough of an outlet to keep me going.
That's the main reason I have my own domain and just randomly post things there. It's not likely to draw much attention and I can do it at my own pace.
But worry not for I am working on a new post that came to me while standing on my back deck... Fun With Mormons. Hopefully you'll be delighted.
In Nomine Salens,
Lord Salens
For all you Harry Potter Fans............
I happened across this site and since I haven't made an appearance in while, figured I'd post it. For any of you that enjoy Harry Potter and particularly get a laugh from reading the "hate mail" of stupid people, check out the "Wall of Shame". Located on the left hand side of the site, under the heading "MuggleNet".
I still must confess to being more of a Lord of the Rings fan than Potter fan, but I do however enjoy a good read and movie. Both of which I've found in the Potter series. Since I found a few of them so funny, I'll also include just a smattering of what you can expect at the Wall of Shame.
Enjoy...........or not.............:)
http://www.mugglenet.com/
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A note from Wall of Shame founder and caretaker (or more appropriately, "crap-taker" ... you'll see), Emerson:
To Mr. Dude,
I find it not very nice that you make fun of the no believers on a web page. It would be a lot nicer if you had them in something like the quote thingy that's on every page of Muggle Net. Also, why did the Navy do your layout? I requested they do one for me and they never replied.
Jenna-Jane.<> If you look at the bottom of this page, you'll see it says the layout was created by Navy. Navy is a person. She lives in Australia.
Frankly, I'm a little scared you actually asked the United States Navy to make you a website layout.
I still must confess to being more of a Lord of the Rings fan than Potter fan, but I do however enjoy a good read and movie. Both of which I've found in the Potter series. Since I found a few of them so funny, I'll also include just a smattering of what you can expect at the Wall of Shame.
Enjoy...........or not.............:)
http://www.mugglenet.com/
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A note from Wall of Shame founder and caretaker (or more appropriately, "crap-taker" ... you'll see), Emerson:
This is a collection of the dumbest, random and most pointless letters we've received. Most of them were, for reasons unknown, addressed to me, so I am the one responsible for this excuse for a page. You'll have lost several IQ points by the time you finish this, but at least you'll feel smarter!
jkr saidt he title to book7 on her website.. harry potter and the mystic kettle of nackledirk!!!!!-Submitted by an alarming amount of people.
Sar´casm n. 1. a form of wit that is marked by the use of sarcastic language and is intended to make its victim the butt of contempt or ridicule
Yeah, she was kidding...!
It costs money but for a good enough software for Mugglenet Interactive would be AOL Highspeed. The connections very fast and reilaible it gives avaible software to use.
If you laughed when you read this, you're a geek like me. If you laughed really hard when you read this, you also have a strange sense of humor.
To Mr. Dude,
I find it not very nice that you make fun of the no believers on a web page. It would be a lot nicer if you had them in something like the quote thingy that's on every page of Muggle Net. Also, why did the Navy do your layout? I requested they do one for me and they never replied.
Jenna-Jane.<> If you look at the bottom of this page, you'll see it says the layout was created by Navy. Navy is a person. She lives in Australia.
Frankly, I'm a little scared you actually asked the United States Navy to make you a website layout.
(For the record, I have no earthly idea what she's talking about in the first part of the email.
Dating 101
I promised this this weekend, but like I said, I was busy.
When my plans were to go into bootcamp, I decided to take a break from dating, now that I'm back, I've decided to start again. Anyway, I figured it would be a good idea to review what I know, and the easiest way for me to review, is to write it down. So guys, I've decided to share this information with you as well.
Attraction isn’t a choice. If you talk with a girl, and she forms an opinion of you, and she isn’t attracted to you, then there is nothing you can do about it. However, if she does feel attraction towards you, then there’s nothing she can do about it. No amount of logic, talking to her friends, peer pressure, can over come it. The more it grows, the more powerful it becomes, it will overrule everything, to the point where the girl will make sacrifices to be with that guy, even if he isn‘t the best for them, even in situations where the guy is abusive. So how do you form attraction?
The key, is to be confident and funny. You have to be able to keep your power in a relationship. Too often, I’ve seen guys give up their power even before a relationship starts. They’ll see an attractive girl, and immediately ask, “would she be interested in me?” This is the kind of question wussies ask. What is a wussy? A wussy is the combination of two words, wimp, and another word which I won’t mention. Having wussyness is kryptonite for a guys chance to have a girl become attracted to him. The key therefore, is to remain confident, and to be funny. The ladies magazines that say that humor is one of the most attractive things about a guy weren’t lying, they merely left out that the guy also needs to be confident.
Things like, paying for dinner, for the movie, buying expensive gifts, all of these things are things a wussy would do. Now, if done the right way, they won’t hurt you. I typically act like its no big deal, however, I’ve also let her pay for my meal as well. “But that isn’t the gentlemanly thing to do.” Well, actually, I’m not sure it isn’t. The concept of a gentleman today isn’t a true gentleman, it’s a gentleman with his balls cut off. If you want a good example of a gentleman, look at the character of James Bond, or John Wayne. Study how they act around women. This is the type of confidence you want to have. Rhet Butler is another fine example of a true gentleman. Guys, its okay to watch Gone With The Wind with your girl, just make sure you’re studying Rhet whenever he’s in the scene.
A way that makes it easier to talk to a woman your interested in, is instead of asking, am I someone she would consider dating, ask this, “Is she someone I would consider dating?” I know it seems simple, but dating is in some aspects like a war, and if you have no moral, it’s impossible to get the victory.
Well class, this is enough for now, practice what you have learned thus far, and I’ll have another lesson for you in the future.
When my plans were to go into bootcamp, I decided to take a break from dating, now that I'm back, I've decided to start again. Anyway, I figured it would be a good idea to review what I know, and the easiest way for me to review, is to write it down. So guys, I've decided to share this information with you as well.
Attraction isn’t a choice. If you talk with a girl, and she forms an opinion of you, and she isn’t attracted to you, then there is nothing you can do about it. However, if she does feel attraction towards you, then there’s nothing she can do about it. No amount of logic, talking to her friends, peer pressure, can over come it. The more it grows, the more powerful it becomes, it will overrule everything, to the point where the girl will make sacrifices to be with that guy, even if he isn‘t the best for them, even in situations where the guy is abusive. So how do you form attraction?
The key, is to be confident and funny. You have to be able to keep your power in a relationship. Too often, I’ve seen guys give up their power even before a relationship starts. They’ll see an attractive girl, and immediately ask, “would she be interested in me?” This is the kind of question wussies ask. What is a wussy? A wussy is the combination of two words, wimp, and another word which I won’t mention. Having wussyness is kryptonite for a guys chance to have a girl become attracted to him. The key therefore, is to remain confident, and to be funny. The ladies magazines that say that humor is one of the most attractive things about a guy weren’t lying, they merely left out that the guy also needs to be confident.
Things like, paying for dinner, for the movie, buying expensive gifts, all of these things are things a wussy would do. Now, if done the right way, they won’t hurt you. I typically act like its no big deal, however, I’ve also let her pay for my meal as well. “But that isn’t the gentlemanly thing to do.” Well, actually, I’m not sure it isn’t. The concept of a gentleman today isn’t a true gentleman, it’s a gentleman with his balls cut off. If you want a good example of a gentleman, look at the character of James Bond, or John Wayne. Study how they act around women. This is the type of confidence you want to have. Rhet Butler is another fine example of a true gentleman. Guys, its okay to watch Gone With The Wind with your girl, just make sure you’re studying Rhet whenever he’s in the scene.
A way that makes it easier to talk to a woman your interested in, is instead of asking, am I someone she would consider dating, ask this, “Is she someone I would consider dating?” I know it seems simple, but dating is in some aspects like a war, and if you have no moral, it’s impossible to get the victory.
Well class, this is enough for now, practice what you have learned thus far, and I’ll have another lesson for you in the future.
Today's Stupid Criminial
After a laborious two-week criminal trial in a very high profile bank robbery case, the jury finally ended its 14 hours of deliberations and entered the courtroom to deliver its verdict to the judge. The judge turns to the jury foreman and asks, "Has the jury reached a verdict in this case?"
"Yes, your honor," the foreman responded, "We find the defendant NOT GUILTY of all four counts of bank robbery,"
The family and friends of the defendant jump for joy at the sound of the "not guilty" verdict and hug each other as they shout expressions of divine gratitude. The defendant's attorney turns to his client and asks, "So, what do you think about that?"
The defendant looks around the courtroom slowly with a bewildered look on his face and then turns to his defense attorney and says, "I'm real confused here. Does this mean that I have to give all the money back?"
"Yes, your honor," the foreman responded, "We find the defendant NOT GUILTY of all four counts of bank robbery,"
The family and friends of the defendant jump for joy at the sound of the "not guilty" verdict and hug each other as they shout expressions of divine gratitude. The defendant's attorney turns to his client and asks, "So, what do you think about that?"
The defendant looks around the courtroom slowly with a bewildered look on his face and then turns to his defense attorney and says, "I'm real confused here. Does this mean that I have to give all the money back?"
about that update I promised.
okay, I really am working on that post I promised. No I didn't procrastinate the entire weekend. I had to work-- I finally got a job. Its back at Meijer, which really sucks, but hey, its some income until I find a better job. Anyone hiring?
oh, and R.R. and Lord Salens, where have you disapeared to? Just cause I'm not going into the marine's anymore doesn't mean I want you to leave.
oh, and R.R. and Lord Salens, where have you disapeared to? Just cause I'm not going into the marine's anymore doesn't mean I want you to leave.
20050708
Today's Stupid Criminal
Dennis Newton was on trial for the armed robbery of a convenience store when he decided to fire his attorney. Oklahoma City District Attorney said Newton was doing a decent job until the store manage testified that Newton was indeed the robber. Newton jumped up, accused the woman of lying and then said, “I should have blown your f***ing head off” The defendant paused then added “If I had been the one that was there.” The jury deliberated for twenty minutes before returning a verdict of guilty and recommended a sentence of thirty years.
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