The Latest

It's looking like I'm going to be taking time off from work and Grand Rapids to take a course in bartending over in Detroit. So to help me prepare, please list your favorite drinks, and how to mix them, in the comments. I have to say that my favorite is the 3 wise men.

Aequitas, Veritas

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A Psychological Study

Through my job at Meijer, I have taken great pains to study people. Both the people who shop there, and the people who work there. Here are some of the results.

As a cashier, if you want to avoid customers, the easiest way is simply to hide in plane sight. Rather than look to the lane lights to see which registers are open, customers look for cashiers at their register. So, if there are no customers in my lane, I like to go to the next lane over and bag for the cashier there. Or I'll go stand at the end of my lane which, if it isn't busy, is what we're supposed to do. As long as you don't make eye contact with the customer, they usually just pass you by.

As a customer, if you have a specific cashier in mind that you want to process your order, make a note of which lane they're own when you come in. When you finish with your shopping, look down the rows to make sure that their light is on. If it is, head straight to that lane, do not look cashiers who are standing at the end of their lane in the eye, and you won't have to say no to them when they ask if you're ready to check out.

For some odd reason, as long as you don't make eye contact, people tend to ignore you.

Jeeez...

I go to make a filler post and he posts two entries in the time it takes me to go all crazy with one. Guess next time I should reload the index in mah browser BEFORE making a post.

Oh, and Ninja > Pirates. Any day.

So, um, hey!

Figured I'd make a random post about nothingness as filler for Mr. RavenCroft XIV, (PBUH).
So like, hey how's it going?

Oh, and I'm less evil than Andrew, (PBUH). Only 78%.

Did you know that vitamins are really a mind control device? That's right. A vitamin a day put little holes in your head, which is then filled by "vitamins" which are really infinitismally small microbes which gain control.

And infomercials are tools of the devil. Not just any of them, but the ones that are guaranteed to improve your life. They make it more difficult. Such as the juicers. Do you realize how much energy to could build if you were to manually juice your juice daily? On top of the energy you'd gain drinking that sludge, you'd have monster arms. They're just trying to give you more energy to watch their stupid informercials and pick up that phone.

Oh, and for something I found amusing (but you might not), my online classroom has been having technical issues. The funny part about it is their little logo at the side which claims "Leave the worrying to us". Well that's fine and dandy, since I can't do anything but wait for the worrying to affect them and finish fixing their servers. Punks.

Enough of the randomness. I have some work to complete! I'll end with a great quote from the ever wise shaman of Hollywood, Johnny Depp - "America is dumb. It's like a dumb puppy that has big teeth that can bite and hurt you, aggressive. My daughter is four, my boy is one. I'd like them to see America as a toy, a broken toy. Investigate it a little, check it out, get this feeling and then get out."

Toodaloo, and PBTB (PBUH)!

Reminds Me of Elementary School

Andrew Ravencroft will have to write:

I will not trust pirates

'What will you have to write on the chalk board?' at QuizGalaxy.com

But I like pirates . . . I want to be one.

I Can't Unsee It! a Public Service Announcement

Welcome to my first PSA. I guess it could be considered the second, if you take into account my ealier post about how to treat your cashiers. However, this is the first official PSA.

So spring is officially here, or close to being here, one of the two. Either way, the weather is slowly but surely starting to get warmer. I want to take this moment to say something about how you should dress in regard to this warmer weather. If you don't have the body for revealing clothing, do not wear revealing clothes. I am sick, and disturbed, to see people who are eighty, and look their age wearing clothing that was made for buxom teenagers five times younger than them. Just because you used to be really good looking, doesn't mean you still are.

For you girls who like to wear revealing clothes. Realize that if you wear the clothes, guys will check you out, and they will notice ten to twenty times more than you do about just what you are revealing. So don't take offense to us checking you out.

It should be noted, men, that you should wear clothing that is specific to your gender. Women can pull off wearing men's clothing, and in the right circumstances (sometimes the wrong circumstances), is quite sexy. However, just because it works for women, doesn't mean that it works for men. I don't care if you are gay or not, backless tops that are metalic silver in color (or any clothes with metalic colors) with skirts and high heels are not appropriet for men. I will make fun of you, and then I will tell my friends about you.

Please, this spring, please dress in a way that is flattering to your body-type.

The Job Search Sucks.

So it's been about 3 months, maybe closer to 4 now that I've been searching. I've had two phone interviews, and one in person interview. I've put out over 200 resumes. I still have no job.
It's been a mixed bag, being at home all the time. I get a lot more time to spend with my wife and children, which is excellent since the last job I had limited that at times due to the overtime I worked. The negative is that I feel like I'm not doing enough. Going to work and getting tasks completed is now a missing piece.
Not that I just sit around all day twidling my thumbs. I've been doing school work, which takes a lot of time up with the classes I have now. Also been sharpening my skill set, learning Python, advanced bash scripting and random other techno studies. I've also been working on my basement, trying to tear out some old tounge and groove board walls to do some repairs and remodeling. Lately I've found myself working with my martial arts instructor to remodel what will become our dojo. And while the later may turn into a secondary income working in the dojo (on both the administrative and instructor sides), I'm not getting an income right now, aside from unemployment.
I have been offered a chance for a job, not exactly what I've ever pictured myself doing, selling Aflac. From the people I know who do, or had and now retired from, selling Aflac it can be a great business. You can work your own schedule, giving yourself time for family and play, while still making a good living. On the flip side is the fact that you really have to hustle and be out there selling. So I think I'm going to try it out...
...At least until I finish this degree for a silly piece of paper. It seems everyone wants you to have one, regardless of your knowledge and/or skill set.

I love when people think me a fool. It means they underestimate me

Which Tarot Card Are You?

You are the Fool card. The Fool fearlessly begins the journey into the unknown. To do this, he does not regard the world he knows as firm and fixed. He has a seemingly reckless disregard for obstacles. In the Ryder-Waite deck, he is seen stepping off a cliff with his gaze on the sky, and a rainbow is there to catch him. In order to explore and expand, one must disregard convention and conformity. Those in the throes of convention look at the unconventional, non-conformist personality and think What a fool. They lack the point of view to understand The Fool's actions. But The Fool has roots in tradition as one who is closest to the spirit world. In many tribal cultures, those born with strange and unusual character traits were held in awe. Shamans were people who could see visions and go on journeys that we now label hallucinations and schizophrenia. Those with physical differences had experience and knowledge that the average person could not understand. The Fool is God. The number of the card is zero, which when drawn is a perfect circle. This circle represents both emptiness and infinity. The Fool is not shackled by mountains and valleys or by his physical body. He does not accept the appearance of cliff and air as being distinct or real. Image from: Mary DeLave http://www.marydelave.com/
Take this quiz!








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Should I be proud, or upset?

You Are 98% Evil

You're the most evil person you know. The devil is even a little scared of you!

How Evil Are You?

Gotta wonder how belief in God has anything to do with being evil. Frell, the demons believe and they tremble. and the whole gun thing-- it should have been: "I've killed in cold blood, and liked it."

and yes, I do want to rule the world. By seeking world dominion, I'm merely seeking world peace along a different path.

Contraversy

I came across this article while browsing my home page today. South Dakota Governor Mike Rounds has signed legislation that would make it a crime for a doctor to perform an abortion if they can't prove that the procedure was neccessary to save the woman's life.

The thing I never understood though, is this: Why doesn't the man get a say in whether or not the woman gets an abortion, but if she chooses to have the child, he automatically has to pay child support. I was told once that, "a woman has the right to do with her body whatever she chooses." or some such bull shite. Well, first of all, the baby has seperate DNA from the mother, that kind of leads me to believe that that isn't her body. and secondly, I don't see how that arguement holds sway in my orginal statement about the guy paying child support.

Now don't get me wrong, I am in favor of child support, and I am against abortion. It just seems like the law, in this area, is quite sexist.

Like I need a freakin' title

there's going to be a couple of changes to the blog. I've been somewhat busy trying to locate a new job, or a second job, and haven't really had time to post.

My mother sent this to me in an email, having forgotten that she had sent this to me a few years ago. Some of you will have seen this, but I'm going to include it here as its just that funny.

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.
Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules, so the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day.
The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends.
After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife

Subject: I've Arrived
Date: October 16, 2004

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then!

Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.


P.S. Sure is freaking hot down here

I Know You're In There, I Can Hear You Caring

Caring more than you should isn't a weakness. It is a strength. Jesus cared more than he should, that's why he died for us. The thing to remember is that while we (Christians) are called to be like Jesus, we (again, Christians) are not called to be Jesus. This is something I've been trying to work through myself, and here are some things I've come up with, don't know if it will help at all.

Because we care, we want to do everything we possibly can to help those people we care about. It is extremely hard to watch someone do the things or be affected by things that we believe are wrong. It doesn't seem enough to simply love the other person. It becomes even harder when it's a young child that is going to be affected most by it.

It takes a great deal of patience to be in these types of situations if you're going to be involved with them in any way. It also means that you must have someone or some thing who can help you to relieve the stress that you're going to come into contact with. In the case of someone, they must be someone who can remain impartial to the situation.

While it may not feel like enough to simply love that person, it actually is. It is okay to care more than you should, but it's another thing entirely to get involved more than you should.

Filler

Okay, I'm currently working on a secret project, but I'm not yet ready to show it to the rest of the world. (it isn't finished yet.) So until then, I'm posting some quotes from one of my favorite television shows. my favorites are bolded.

House-isms:

Wilson – “How'd you get here?”
House – “By osmosis.”
- Skin Deep

“Catfight and cataplexy on the catwalk. Cool.”
- Skin Deep

Cameron – “What are you looking for?”
House – “Same as you. Love, acceptance, a solid return in investment.”
- Distractions

Weber – “You can’t test anything on an abnormal brain.”
House – “That’s so close-minded, He’s not ‘abnormal.’ He’s special.”
- Distractions

Cameron – “Could pain medication cause an orgasm?”
House – “I wish.”
- Distractions

Cameron – “His brain is like a waiter that’s got too many…”
House – “Hey! I do the metaphors.”
- Distractions

“Wow. It's a big jump from ‘Infidelity is wrong’ to ‘Do her.’”
- Need to Know

“Mommy does everything for her family these days. Even swallows their pills.”
- Need to Know

Chase – “We’ve got an MRI scheduled in twenty minutes. Earliest Foreman could get the machine.”
House – “I teach you to lie and cheat and steal and the second my back is turned you wait in line!”
- Failure to Communicate

Wilson – “Did you know your phone is dead? Do you ever recharge the batteries?”
House – “They recharge? I just keep buying new phones.”
- Failure to Communicate

Foreman – “She a regular at OTB. Somehow I don't see her holding down a nine-to-five and going to PTA meetings.”
House – “I was there and I have a nine-to-three job.”
- Deception

“What else turns you on? Drugs? Casual sex? Rough sex? Casual rough sex? I'm a doctor, I need to know.”
- Deception

“Sorry I missed that. White count’s been down since the Ricky Martin concert. Some cholo kicked me in the head.”
- Deception

Stacy – “Where’s Chase?”
House – “He’s too busy to service you until after work. I’ve got a few minutes, though. Feel free to say something like, ‘What’ll we do with the time left over?’”
- The Mistake

“One caveat: I’ve now moved past threesomes. I’m into foursomes.”
- The Mistake

“Steve McQueen without hair? It's a blessing he died young.”
- Hunting

“Dying people lie too. Wish they’d worked less, been nicer, opened orphanages for kittens. If you really want to do something, you do it. You don’t save it for a sound bite.”
- Hunting

“You know me. Hostility makes me shrink up like a… I can’t think of a non-sexual metaphor.”
- Spin

“What makes a guy start drooling? Chase, were you wearing your short-shorts?”
- Spin

Cameron – “Who was that?”
House – “Angelina Jolie. I call her mom. Who thinks that’s sexy?”- Daddy’s Boy

Foreman – “You have no evidence to support a poisoning diagnosis.”
House – “Which is why it’s going to be so cool when I turn out to be right.”
- Daddy’s Boy

“You -- Intravenous broad spectrum antibiotics. You -- Get cervical, thoracic and lumbar T2 weighted fast spin echo MRIs. And you -- Track down all the other Richie Riches who went to Jamaica. See if any of them have the shocks, the trots or the hots.”
- Daddy’s Boy

“Welcome aboard the good ship ass kisser. Nice day for a sail.”
- TB Or Not TB

“You ever notice all of the self-sacrificing women in history, Joan of Arc, Mother Theresa…can’t think of any others, they all die alone. Men, on the other hand, get so much tang it’s crazy.”
- TB Or Not TB

“If I tried a scheme like this, you’d get that nasty wrinkly face and screech like a hyena. Very sexy, I admit.”
- Humpty Dumpty

“Hey, I can be a jerk to people I haven’t slept with. I am that good.”- Humpty Dumpty

“I’m happy to report that we are now so in sync, we’re actually wearing each other’s underwear.”
- Humpty Dumpty

“Union rules. I can’t check out this guy’s seeping gonorrhea this close to lunch.”
- Autopsy

Chase – “If she’s never kissed a boy, it’s a fair bet she’s never had sex.”
House – “Tell that to all the hookers who won’t kiss me on the mouth.”
- Autopsy

“Is it still illegal to perform an autopsy on a living person?”
- Autopsy

“What’s with hiring a male secretary? J-Date not working out?”
- Acceptance

“Talk to Cuddy. She’s got me going to Mercer State Prison, Capital Sentences Unit. She’s trying to impress her new sex-retary.”
- Acceptance

Stacy – “If you didn’t want me working here, why didn’t you just say so?”
House – “I don’t want you working right here. In my office. But anywhere else in the building is fine. It’s a really big hospital.”
- Acceptance

Foreman – “Blood gas came back with a pH of 7.28, and a decreased HCO3.”
House – “Which means two things. Most importantly, Cameron was wrong about the bi-carb. Less significantly, we have a brand new symptom. Who’s chubby?”
- Acceptance

Cheney: Fun & Funny

Not sure if anyone else saw the Daily Show last night, but I found their skit on Cheney absolutely funny. You can view it here. While it was an unfortunate accident, you had to know it would be spun into a 'Vice-President is a rabid killer' kind of commentary.

Xanth Movie News

In doing some research, I've found out that Warner Pictures has the movie rights for the first book in Piers Anthony's Xanth trilogy. Filming could begin as early as this summer. For those who don't know, Warner Pictures has also done the Harry Potter series. After seeing the fourth Movie (he hasn't read the books) he expressed some fears as to them not being able to do justice to his book.

Important Rules to Remember

These are just some of those rules that can help you if you know how to use them properly.


People Are Stupid.

People will believe a lie because they want it to be true. Also, people will believe a lie because they are afraid it might be true.

A more harmless example would be that if you bought a lotto ticket, but missed the drawing, and I saw the drawing, and I told them that the winning numbers were your numbers, you would likely believe me because you want it to be true. Or to use the other end of it, if a friend was traveling through really bad weather to visit us, and the phone rang, and you told me that the call was from the friend, and they had gotten into a really bad accident, I would likely believe you because I was afraid that it could be true.

The greatest harm can result from the best intentions.

This is another way to say that the road to Hell is paved with good intentions.

An example of this, would be that if you and two friends were sight seeing at the Grand Canyon, and your friends, being the guys that they are, start wrestling around right near the edge, and ultimately end up hanging precariously on the edge right next to each other. You grab both of their hands at once, but lacking the strength to pull them both up, they're collective weight pulls you down with them, and all three of you fall to your death.

That's what makes this a difficult rule to use-- you aren't likely to know your violating it until it's too late.

Passion Rules Reason.

In the heat of the moment, our hearts (emotion) will cause you to forget how to properly think through a situation.

For this one, I'm going to use a quote from Larry the Cable Guy: "I believe that guns don't kill people, husbands that come home early do."

There is healing in sincere forgiveness.

it's healing of the soul. In the forgiveness you receive, but more so in the forgiveness you give.

Has someone ever wronged you? Nothing small, but really wronged you, like, stuff that could cause a brothers to think of each other as dead. Or people who were best friends for years to just end the friendship. If you don't let go and forgive, it will eat away at your soul, and ultimately affect the rest of your life. Once you do, it will feel as if the weight of the world is gone from your shoulders.

Mind what people do, not only what they say, for deeds will betray a lie.

Another way to say that Actions speak louder than words. Don't take someone's word for granted.

No example needed.

Life is the future, not the past.

Don't focus on the past, focus on the here and now while making preparations for the future.

You can't walk through life backwards, or you'll end up tripping.

A story about a bunny

Here's a song I haven't heard in forever. I liked it as a child, and now I laugh at the thought of me doing this for my kids some day. I can't picture myself doing it, but I know I will at some point. That point being a time when none of my friends are around, and the wife is out doing wife things.


Little Bunny Foo Foo,
Hopping through the forest
Scooping up the field mice
And boppin' 'em on the head

Down came the good fairy and she said

"Little Bunny Foo Foo,
I don't want to see you
Scooping up the field mice
And boppin' 'em on the head.
I'll give you three chances,
And if you don't behave
I'll turn you into a goon!"

The next day:

Little Bunny Foo Foo,
Hopping through the forest
Scooping up the field mice
And boppin' 'em on the head

Down came the good fairy and she said

"Little Bunny Foo Foo,
I don't want to see you
Scooping up the field mice
And boppin' 'em on the head.
I'll give you two more chances,
And if you don't behave
I'll turn you into a goon!"

The next day:

Little Bunny Foo Foo,
Hopping through the forest
Scooping up the field mice
And boppin' 'em on the head

Down came the good fairy and she said

"Little Bunny Foo Foo,
I don't want to see you
Scooping up the field mice
And boppin' 'em on the head.
I'll give you one more chance,
And if you don't behave
I'll turn you into a goon!"

The next day:

Little Bunny Foo Foo,
Hopping through the forest
Scooping up the field mice
And boppin' 'em on the head

Down came the good fairy and she said

"Little Bunny Foo Foo,
I don't want to see you
Scooping up the field mice
And boppin' 'em on the head.
I gave you three chances
And you didn't behave
Now you're a goon! POOF!!"

The Lastest News for Weird Al

So in doing some research, I've found out the Weird Al has finished recording and mixing the first six songs on his next album.

Truck Update

So I took my truck into the shop, and got an estimate. Its going to be $1,000+ to fix the thing. In the meantime I'm driving a rental, atleast its American. Its a Chevy Malibu. It looks nice, but I prefer my truck, and I'll be glad to get it back. Tomorrow I go in to schedule my court date. Overall, I miss being in the south.