Reminds Me of Elementary School

Andrew Ravencroft will have to write:

I will not trust pirates

'What will you have to write on the chalk board?' at QuizGalaxy.com

But I like pirates . . . I want to be one.

I Can't Unsee It! a Public Service Announcement

Welcome to my first PSA. I guess it could be considered the second, if you take into account my ealier post about how to treat your cashiers. However, this is the first official PSA.

So spring is officially here, or close to being here, one of the two. Either way, the weather is slowly but surely starting to get warmer. I want to take this moment to say something about how you should dress in regard to this warmer weather. If you don't have the body for revealing clothing, do not wear revealing clothes. I am sick, and disturbed, to see people who are eighty, and look their age wearing clothing that was made for buxom teenagers five times younger than them. Just because you used to be really good looking, doesn't mean you still are.

For you girls who like to wear revealing clothes. Realize that if you wear the clothes, guys will check you out, and they will notice ten to twenty times more than you do about just what you are revealing. So don't take offense to us checking you out.

It should be noted, men, that you should wear clothing that is specific to your gender. Women can pull off wearing men's clothing, and in the right circumstances (sometimes the wrong circumstances), is quite sexy. However, just because it works for women, doesn't mean that it works for men. I don't care if you are gay or not, backless tops that are metalic silver in color (or any clothes with metalic colors) with skirts and high heels are not appropriet for men. I will make fun of you, and then I will tell my friends about you.

Please, this spring, please dress in a way that is flattering to your body-type.

The Job Search Sucks.

So it's been about 3 months, maybe closer to 4 now that I've been searching. I've had two phone interviews, and one in person interview. I've put out over 200 resumes. I still have no job.
It's been a mixed bag, being at home all the time. I get a lot more time to spend with my wife and children, which is excellent since the last job I had limited that at times due to the overtime I worked. The negative is that I feel like I'm not doing enough. Going to work and getting tasks completed is now a missing piece.
Not that I just sit around all day twidling my thumbs. I've been doing school work, which takes a lot of time up with the classes I have now. Also been sharpening my skill set, learning Python, advanced bash scripting and random other techno studies. I've also been working on my basement, trying to tear out some old tounge and groove board walls to do some repairs and remodeling. Lately I've found myself working with my martial arts instructor to remodel what will become our dojo. And while the later may turn into a secondary income working in the dojo (on both the administrative and instructor sides), I'm not getting an income right now, aside from unemployment.
I have been offered a chance for a job, not exactly what I've ever pictured myself doing, selling Aflac. From the people I know who do, or had and now retired from, selling Aflac it can be a great business. You can work your own schedule, giving yourself time for family and play, while still making a good living. On the flip side is the fact that you really have to hustle and be out there selling. So I think I'm going to try it out...
...At least until I finish this degree for a silly piece of paper. It seems everyone wants you to have one, regardless of your knowledge and/or skill set.

I love when people think me a fool. It means they underestimate me

Which Tarot Card Are You?

You are the Fool card. The Fool fearlessly begins the journey into the unknown. To do this, he does not regard the world he knows as firm and fixed. He has a seemingly reckless disregard for obstacles. In the Ryder-Waite deck, he is seen stepping off a cliff with his gaze on the sky, and a rainbow is there to catch him. In order to explore and expand, one must disregard convention and conformity. Those in the throes of convention look at the unconventional, non-conformist personality and think What a fool. They lack the point of view to understand The Fool's actions. But The Fool has roots in tradition as one who is closest to the spirit world. In many tribal cultures, those born with strange and unusual character traits were held in awe. Shamans were people who could see visions and go on journeys that we now label hallucinations and schizophrenia. Those with physical differences had experience and knowledge that the average person could not understand. The Fool is God. The number of the card is zero, which when drawn is a perfect circle. This circle represents both emptiness and infinity. The Fool is not shackled by mountains and valleys or by his physical body. He does not accept the appearance of cliff and air as being distinct or real. Image from: Mary DeLave http://www.marydelave.com/
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Should I be proud, or upset?

You Are 98% Evil

You're the most evil person you know. The devil is even a little scared of you!

How Evil Are You?

Gotta wonder how belief in God has anything to do with being evil. Frell, the demons believe and they tremble. and the whole gun thing-- it should have been: "I've killed in cold blood, and liked it."

and yes, I do want to rule the world. By seeking world dominion, I'm merely seeking world peace along a different path.

Contraversy

I came across this article while browsing my home page today. South Dakota Governor Mike Rounds has signed legislation that would make it a crime for a doctor to perform an abortion if they can't prove that the procedure was neccessary to save the woman's life.

The thing I never understood though, is this: Why doesn't the man get a say in whether or not the woman gets an abortion, but if she chooses to have the child, he automatically has to pay child support. I was told once that, "a woman has the right to do with her body whatever she chooses." or some such bull shite. Well, first of all, the baby has seperate DNA from the mother, that kind of leads me to believe that that isn't her body. and secondly, I don't see how that arguement holds sway in my orginal statement about the guy paying child support.

Now don't get me wrong, I am in favor of child support, and I am against abortion. It just seems like the law, in this area, is quite sexist.

Like I need a freakin' title

there's going to be a couple of changes to the blog. I've been somewhat busy trying to locate a new job, or a second job, and haven't really had time to post.

My mother sent this to me in an email, having forgotten that she had sent this to me a few years ago. Some of you will have seen this, but I'm going to include it here as its just that funny.

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.
Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules, so the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day.
The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends.
After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife

Subject: I've Arrived
Date: October 16, 2004

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then!

Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.


P.S. Sure is freaking hot down here

I Know You're In There, I Can Hear You Caring

Caring more than you should isn't a weakness. It is a strength. Jesus cared more than he should, that's why he died for us. The thing to remember is that while we (Christians) are called to be like Jesus, we (again, Christians) are not called to be Jesus. This is something I've been trying to work through myself, and here are some things I've come up with, don't know if it will help at all.

Because we care, we want to do everything we possibly can to help those people we care about. It is extremely hard to watch someone do the things or be affected by things that we believe are wrong. It doesn't seem enough to simply love the other person. It becomes even harder when it's a young child that is going to be affected most by it.

It takes a great deal of patience to be in these types of situations if you're going to be involved with them in any way. It also means that you must have someone or some thing who can help you to relieve the stress that you're going to come into contact with. In the case of someone, they must be someone who can remain impartial to the situation.

While it may not feel like enough to simply love that person, it actually is. It is okay to care more than you should, but it's another thing entirely to get involved more than you should.

Filler

Okay, I'm currently working on a secret project, but I'm not yet ready to show it to the rest of the world. (it isn't finished yet.) So until then, I'm posting some quotes from one of my favorite television shows. my favorites are bolded.

House-isms:

Wilson – “How'd you get here?”
House – “By osmosis.”
- Skin Deep

“Catfight and cataplexy on the catwalk. Cool.”
- Skin Deep

Cameron – “What are you looking for?”
House – “Same as you. Love, acceptance, a solid return in investment.”
- Distractions

Weber – “You can’t test anything on an abnormal brain.”
House – “That’s so close-minded, He’s not ‘abnormal.’ He’s special.”
- Distractions

Cameron – “Could pain medication cause an orgasm?”
House – “I wish.”
- Distractions

Cameron – “His brain is like a waiter that’s got too many…”
House – “Hey! I do the metaphors.”
- Distractions

“Wow. It's a big jump from ‘Infidelity is wrong’ to ‘Do her.’”
- Need to Know

“Mommy does everything for her family these days. Even swallows their pills.”
- Need to Know

Chase – “We’ve got an MRI scheduled in twenty minutes. Earliest Foreman could get the machine.”
House – “I teach you to lie and cheat and steal and the second my back is turned you wait in line!”
- Failure to Communicate

Wilson – “Did you know your phone is dead? Do you ever recharge the batteries?”
House – “They recharge? I just keep buying new phones.”
- Failure to Communicate

Foreman – “She a regular at OTB. Somehow I don't see her holding down a nine-to-five and going to PTA meetings.”
House – “I was there and I have a nine-to-three job.”
- Deception

“What else turns you on? Drugs? Casual sex? Rough sex? Casual rough sex? I'm a doctor, I need to know.”
- Deception

“Sorry I missed that. White count’s been down since the Ricky Martin concert. Some cholo kicked me in the head.”
- Deception

Stacy – “Where’s Chase?”
House – “He’s too busy to service you until after work. I’ve got a few minutes, though. Feel free to say something like, ‘What’ll we do with the time left over?’”
- The Mistake

“One caveat: I’ve now moved past threesomes. I’m into foursomes.”
- The Mistake

“Steve McQueen without hair? It's a blessing he died young.”
- Hunting

“Dying people lie too. Wish they’d worked less, been nicer, opened orphanages for kittens. If you really want to do something, you do it. You don’t save it for a sound bite.”
- Hunting

“You know me. Hostility makes me shrink up like a… I can’t think of a non-sexual metaphor.”
- Spin

“What makes a guy start drooling? Chase, were you wearing your short-shorts?”
- Spin

Cameron – “Who was that?”
House – “Angelina Jolie. I call her mom. Who thinks that’s sexy?”- Daddy’s Boy

Foreman – “You have no evidence to support a poisoning diagnosis.”
House – “Which is why it’s going to be so cool when I turn out to be right.”
- Daddy’s Boy

“You -- Intravenous broad spectrum antibiotics. You -- Get cervical, thoracic and lumbar T2 weighted fast spin echo MRIs. And you -- Track down all the other Richie Riches who went to Jamaica. See if any of them have the shocks, the trots or the hots.”
- Daddy’s Boy

“Welcome aboard the good ship ass kisser. Nice day for a sail.”
- TB Or Not TB

“You ever notice all of the self-sacrificing women in history, Joan of Arc, Mother Theresa…can’t think of any others, they all die alone. Men, on the other hand, get so much tang it’s crazy.”
- TB Or Not TB

“If I tried a scheme like this, you’d get that nasty wrinkly face and screech like a hyena. Very sexy, I admit.”
- Humpty Dumpty

“Hey, I can be a jerk to people I haven’t slept with. I am that good.”- Humpty Dumpty

“I’m happy to report that we are now so in sync, we’re actually wearing each other’s underwear.”
- Humpty Dumpty

“Union rules. I can’t check out this guy’s seeping gonorrhea this close to lunch.”
- Autopsy

Chase – “If she’s never kissed a boy, it’s a fair bet she’s never had sex.”
House – “Tell that to all the hookers who won’t kiss me on the mouth.”
- Autopsy

“Is it still illegal to perform an autopsy on a living person?”
- Autopsy

“What’s with hiring a male secretary? J-Date not working out?”
- Acceptance

“Talk to Cuddy. She’s got me going to Mercer State Prison, Capital Sentences Unit. She’s trying to impress her new sex-retary.”
- Acceptance

Stacy – “If you didn’t want me working here, why didn’t you just say so?”
House – “I don’t want you working right here. In my office. But anywhere else in the building is fine. It’s a really big hospital.”
- Acceptance

Foreman – “Blood gas came back with a pH of 7.28, and a decreased HCO3.”
House – “Which means two things. Most importantly, Cameron was wrong about the bi-carb. Less significantly, we have a brand new symptom. Who’s chubby?”
- Acceptance

Cheney: Fun & Funny

Not sure if anyone else saw the Daily Show last night, but I found their skit on Cheney absolutely funny. You can view it here. While it was an unfortunate accident, you had to know it would be spun into a 'Vice-President is a rabid killer' kind of commentary.

Xanth Movie News

In doing some research, I've found out that Warner Pictures has the movie rights for the first book in Piers Anthony's Xanth trilogy. Filming could begin as early as this summer. For those who don't know, Warner Pictures has also done the Harry Potter series. After seeing the fourth Movie (he hasn't read the books) he expressed some fears as to them not being able to do justice to his book.

Important Rules to Remember

These are just some of those rules that can help you if you know how to use them properly.


People Are Stupid.

People will believe a lie because they want it to be true. Also, people will believe a lie because they are afraid it might be true.

A more harmless example would be that if you bought a lotto ticket, but missed the drawing, and I saw the drawing, and I told them that the winning numbers were your numbers, you would likely believe me because you want it to be true. Or to use the other end of it, if a friend was traveling through really bad weather to visit us, and the phone rang, and you told me that the call was from the friend, and they had gotten into a really bad accident, I would likely believe you because I was afraid that it could be true.

The greatest harm can result from the best intentions.

This is another way to say that the road to Hell is paved with good intentions.

An example of this, would be that if you and two friends were sight seeing at the Grand Canyon, and your friends, being the guys that they are, start wrestling around right near the edge, and ultimately end up hanging precariously on the edge right next to each other. You grab both of their hands at once, but lacking the strength to pull them both up, they're collective weight pulls you down with them, and all three of you fall to your death.

That's what makes this a difficult rule to use-- you aren't likely to know your violating it until it's too late.

Passion Rules Reason.

In the heat of the moment, our hearts (emotion) will cause you to forget how to properly think through a situation.

For this one, I'm going to use a quote from Larry the Cable Guy: "I believe that guns don't kill people, husbands that come home early do."

There is healing in sincere forgiveness.

it's healing of the soul. In the forgiveness you receive, but more so in the forgiveness you give.

Has someone ever wronged you? Nothing small, but really wronged you, like, stuff that could cause a brothers to think of each other as dead. Or people who were best friends for years to just end the friendship. If you don't let go and forgive, it will eat away at your soul, and ultimately affect the rest of your life. Once you do, it will feel as if the weight of the world is gone from your shoulders.

Mind what people do, not only what they say, for deeds will betray a lie.

Another way to say that Actions speak louder than words. Don't take someone's word for granted.

No example needed.

Life is the future, not the past.

Don't focus on the past, focus on the here and now while making preparations for the future.

You can't walk through life backwards, or you'll end up tripping.

A story about a bunny

Here's a song I haven't heard in forever. I liked it as a child, and now I laugh at the thought of me doing this for my kids some day. I can't picture myself doing it, but I know I will at some point. That point being a time when none of my friends are around, and the wife is out doing wife things.


Little Bunny Foo Foo,
Hopping through the forest
Scooping up the field mice
And boppin' 'em on the head

Down came the good fairy and she said

"Little Bunny Foo Foo,
I don't want to see you
Scooping up the field mice
And boppin' 'em on the head.
I'll give you three chances,
And if you don't behave
I'll turn you into a goon!"

The next day:

Little Bunny Foo Foo,
Hopping through the forest
Scooping up the field mice
And boppin' 'em on the head

Down came the good fairy and she said

"Little Bunny Foo Foo,
I don't want to see you
Scooping up the field mice
And boppin' 'em on the head.
I'll give you two more chances,
And if you don't behave
I'll turn you into a goon!"

The next day:

Little Bunny Foo Foo,
Hopping through the forest
Scooping up the field mice
And boppin' 'em on the head

Down came the good fairy and she said

"Little Bunny Foo Foo,
I don't want to see you
Scooping up the field mice
And boppin' 'em on the head.
I'll give you one more chance,
And if you don't behave
I'll turn you into a goon!"

The next day:

Little Bunny Foo Foo,
Hopping through the forest
Scooping up the field mice
And boppin' 'em on the head

Down came the good fairy and she said

"Little Bunny Foo Foo,
I don't want to see you
Scooping up the field mice
And boppin' 'em on the head.
I gave you three chances
And you didn't behave
Now you're a goon! POOF!!"

The Lastest News for Weird Al

So in doing some research, I've found out the Weird Al has finished recording and mixing the first six songs on his next album.

Truck Update

So I took my truck into the shop, and got an estimate. Its going to be $1,000+ to fix the thing. In the meantime I'm driving a rental, atleast its American. Its a Chevy Malibu. It looks nice, but I prefer my truck, and I'll be glad to get it back. Tomorrow I go in to schedule my court date. Overall, I miss being in the south.

Super Geeks Unite!!!

guess I'm more of a geek than I thought. Not that its a bad thing :)

Trucks are Tough

I got into my first accident last night. (Well, first accident that had to be reported.) Completely ruined the bumper of the car I hit. Plastic bumbers just aren't the good. I wasn't going fast enough for my airbags to deploy, and so far my truck only seems to have some cosmetic damage, namely the front bumper got dented. Although I didn't announce this at the start, no one was hurt in the accident. I wasn't driving wrecklessly, and I was actually being a good driver. It was snowing bad, and my truck lost control. I did everything I could think of to stop it, but the truck insisted on still going. I hit the rear of their car. (They had apparrently previously lost control of their car [I hadn't seen this] and were likely recovering from the shock of that, only to have a truck hit them.

The Policeman who showed up ended up giving me a ticket for "Failed to stop in clear assured distance." The ticket no where mentions that the road was icey. nor does it mention that it (the accident) was on a semi-steep downhill road, so that I hit them coming from above, my truck literally slid the thirty feet to hit them. I'm going to fight this ticket, anyone know what kind of chances I have?

Answering some questions

This will be added to as more questions are asked.

Question: If a cashier does a particularly polite and efficient job and I inform the manager of this, will it do any good?

I've done this a few times, and I hope the compliment got passed along.
- Harvey

It all depends on the manager. In some cases, the manager gave me a $5.00 gift card to the store, in others, I didn't find out about it until a week later and from a co-worker who was related to them.

"Mebbe not 'free', but I always say 'It's a nickel.' If it doesn't scan, it's a nickel, right?"
- _Jon

Usually, if an item doesn't scan, if the customer doesn't do the stupid line about it being free, I'll give it to them for a reduced price, usally about 99 cents, unless I think that price is too much. I adjust the price depending on the item and how much I like the customer.

Cashier Has Authority To Solve All Problems With A Ten Gauge

I’ve decided to become a teacher of sorts. Today you are going how to be a proper customer in a retail store. I’ve had it with stupid customers who come into my lane, and as we are not yet at a point where Cashiers and other “Customer Service Representatives” can solve any problems that arise with a shotgun (This will change when I rule the world. [Mandatory safety classes and IQ tests must be passed before one can become a Customer Service Rep.] ) I have therefore decided that it is high time we had a customer training pamphlet.

Unloading the Cart~

When unloading your cart, please keep all of your like items together as you place them on the belt. You don’t want your bread placed in a bag with your heavy, bulky, and non-yielding cans, as that would crush your bread, so why would you place one loaf of bread in the middle of your placement of cans? You know that dozen eggs you’re buying? Place the bread on top of that, then, when it gets bagged, you’ll know where both the eggs and the bread are, and they won’t get lost in the process of ringing you up. Keeping all your like items together also serves to keep your cashier from having to stand on tip-toes and reach halfway across the lane just so they can put another item into the bag. To spell it out: meat goes with other meat, dairy with other dairy, frozen with other frozen or cold items, keep the crushable items with the other crushable items. Keep in mind that you may not have a cashier in the prime of their shift. They may have just started, in which case they need time to get into cashier mode, or they could be just ending a shift, in which case their brain is fried from dealing with stupid people all day, so the less they have to think about what’s already in the bag, the less likely they are to make a mistake and put the watermelon on top of the birthday cake you special ordered for your kid from the bakery because you were too damned lazy to bake one yourself.

Requesting Special Bags~

This one is simple. If you want your things put into paper bags, use this question: “May I have my order bagged in paper please?” (Be friendly, remember, you don’t know how many idiots we’ve had to deal with already, so you don’t know how close we are to the point where we just go retail.) Do not ask to have your things placed in bags, we all ready do that for you, so be specific. “Paper bags” and don’t call them brown bags either, they are paper bags, so that‘s what you should ask for. Also, don’t wait until your order is halfway finished (or completely finished) and give us the, “Oh, I wanted paper bags,” crap. Also, most cashiers hate bagging paper, so if they’re doing a good job, let them know, it’ll help brighten their day.

If you have brought your own bags, be they paper or cloth, let us know in advance. If they’re cloth bags, understand that things are going to go a little slower, as cloth bags have no support and its hard to hold them open and scan items at the same time.

If you want bags to be packed lightly, let us know, and don’t get mad at us if the bag is still too heavy (unless its obvious, like twenty cans in a bag) what’s light for us might still be too heavy for you, so it takes a little trial and error for the first couple of bags.

The Scanning Of The Items~

Okay, lets say that the Cashier is going a little slow with the scanning. The likely thing is that either they’re new to being a cashier, or they’re tired. In either case, yelling at them to go faster isn’t going to help you. It may increase their speed a little, but it increases the likelihood that an item, usually glass, will “accidentally” fall onto the ground and smash into many pieces of possibly lethal shrapnel. This will in turn mean that you then have to wait while someone goes back and gets you a replacement for that item. Usually this item is a rather expensive wine. Also, if the slow bagging is bugging you because “you have other things you need to do today,” then you should have re-thought what order you did things in. Grociery shopping takes time, and if you have a particularly large order, it takes a while to process the order. Then you have to drive home and unload everything. Grocery shopping should be done as the last thing you have to do before you go home for the night.

Loading the Cart~
A few grocery stores still employ baggers to bag your groceries and load your cart. Some will even have baggers who are there specifically to take the groceries to your car, and load the car for you. However, stores like Meijer and Walmart now employ a system called scan and bag, in which the cashier does everything from scan the items to bagging it. They will also load your cart for you, however, this takes time, especially if you have a large order. The easiest thing is if you load the cart yourself. The benefits of this is that you will know that your eggs aren’t in a danger zone inside the cart. Also, if you have requested that your bags be light, because you can’t lift much, loading the cart yourself will tell you in advance which bags you can lift, and which need to be redistributed into other bags or into their own bags. (My favorite are the people who want light bags because of a bad back, but have no trouble getting the 50 lbs. bag of dog food onto the belt.)

Price Discrepancies and items that don’t scan~

Okay, you think an item is supposed to be priced differently than how it shows on the screen. Be courteous to the cashier, “You know, I think that that item was on sale.” or “I’m pretty sure that the tag has a lower price.” If you are nice about it, the likelihood is that the cashier will give you the item for the lower amount, even if that item isn’t on sale and is correctly labeled. Being rude is a sure way to keeping the price at the current amount.

If an item doesn’t scan, don’t say anything like, “Oh, it didn’t scan, it must be free.” This was never funny, and is indeed quite annoying to a cashier. Nothing is free. Not even air. Air has pollution in it, so you’re still paying some kind of price.

Clothing~

If you don’t want to put your clothes on the belt because “they’ll get dirty,” that’s fine, but don’t hand the clothes to us all at once. Hand the clothes to the cashier one at a time so that they can scan and bag them easily. I’ve noticed that a lot of the customers who do this will place their produce items directly onto the belt without having them in a produce bag first, I don’t think they realize just how nasty these belts are. We don’t clean them efficiently until after midnight. I just hope they wash the stuff before eating it.

Cards and Coupons~

If you have coupons, don’t hand them to the cashier one at a time, hand them to the cashier all at once.

If you have a store issued card that gives you savings, or goes to charity, hand it to the cashier to scan, don’t reach around and scan it yourself. Its an invasion of personal space. We all have our little bubbles that we don’t like invaded by strangers, so stay out of mine.

This is all for now. If you have any questions about how you can become a better customer, feel free to ask them in the comments, and I’ll answer them at a later date. Also, please pass word of this post as far and wide as you can, so that many can learn how to be a propper customer. Copy and Paste it into your own blog (give me credit though!!!) or print it out all over the work place.

The World's Best Blonde Joke

If you like Blonde jokes, you're gonna love this one.

In other news, look for a post about proper customer behaviour later this weekend.