| How to make a Andrew |
| Ingredients: 3 parts pride 1 part brilliance 3 parts ego |
| Method: Layer ingredientes in a shot glass. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of wisdom |
20060427
What personality elements make up your Personality cocktail?
20060425
Bartending
This past weekend, I had my first two classes at Bartending School. The classes were quite enjoyable, and while we did have assignments, learning how to make drinks is actually quite fun. The people teaching the classes all have 20+ years of bartending experience, so not only do they know the best ways to make the drinks, they also know the best dirty jokes. One of them is as follows:
“Why don’t women have brains?”
“Because they don’t have a penis to put one in.”
The ‘tender that taught us this one told us that a female in one of his classes last week came up with this reply on the spot:
“Yeah, well I wouldn’t want a brain that small.”
The only downside to the class, other than it being in Detroit (two hours distance), is that you don’t get to try the drinks you prepare (this is ill-advisable, as it’s all latex paints and dyes)
“Why don’t women have brains?”
“Because they don’t have a penis to put one in.”
The ‘tender that taught us this one told us that a female in one of his classes last week came up with this reply on the spot:
“Yeah, well I wouldn’t want a brain that small.”
The only downside to the class, other than it being in Detroit (two hours distance), is that you don’t get to try the drinks you prepare (this is ill-advisable, as it’s all latex paints and dyes)
20060420
20060417
PSA: Men and How To Last Longer During Sex
Lets face it, Men and Women are different when it comes to sex. To quote Jeff Foxworthy, women are a bit like diesel engines. It takes a while to warm them up, but once started, they can run for a long time. Men on the other hand are like bottle rockets. We light fast, and fizzle out faster. However, there are ways to last longer in the bedroom (or where ever else it is that you make love). Hopefully, after some practice with these, you will no longer be refered to as a minute man.
One way is to picture this.
Another is to press your tongue to the roof of your mouth. Tensing other muscles in your body requires blood to direct to that region, and away from your penis.
AskMen.com suggests a few approaches as well:
Control your breathing
Slow, even breaths are the way to go. Taking fast breaths, or holding your breath is not the way to go Adding sound to help you remember may also help arouse your partner as well.
Pull Your Testicles
Your testicles will rise closer to your body when its close to ejaculation. Lightly tugging (emphasis on lightly! Do not yank!) will keep them from rising, and thus help prolong the experience
Apply Pressure to the perineum(aka Male G-spot)
When it feels like your close to ejaculation, pressing down on the area between the anus and the scrotum with your fingers (or have your partner do it) will conjest the flow of fluid, as this is the path it takes to get to your penis.
Stop and Go (kind of like a sexier game of redlight greenlight)
Before getting too close to climax, pull out, and do other things that she will enjoy. This allows you to last longer, while still getting her closer to climax herself. This will also increase the amount of ejaculation fluids that you expel.
Finally, contract your muscle
located around your testicles, penis and anus are your pelvic floor muscles, also called the pubococcygeus (PC muscle). By contracting these muscles and letting go, you will have more solid erections and be better able to control your ejaculation.
You must keep your PC muscle in top shape in order to have the maximum sexual experience (women, this goes for you too!) The next time you urinate, try to staunch the flow midway by contracting these muscles. If you can't, then you need to start exercising it. The great thing is that you can exercise anywhere, whether at work, or sitting on your couch watching TV, to laying in bed before going to sleep.
Try stopping your urine midstream 3-5 times to make sure that you know where its located. Another way is to contract the muscles while you have an erection. If your penis moves up slightly, then you've found the right set of muscles.
For a complete list of the different type of exercises to strengthen your PC muscle, go here.
Well guys, good luck in your endeavors.
One way is to picture this.
Another is to press your tongue to the roof of your mouth. Tensing other muscles in your body requires blood to direct to that region, and away from your penis.
AskMen.com suggests a few approaches as well:
Control your breathing
Slow, even breaths are the way to go. Taking fast breaths, or holding your breath is not the way to go Adding sound to help you remember may also help arouse your partner as well.
Pull Your Testicles
Your testicles will rise closer to your body when its close to ejaculation. Lightly tugging (emphasis on lightly! Do not yank!) will keep them from rising, and thus help prolong the experience
Apply Pressure to the perineum(aka Male G-spot)
When it feels like your close to ejaculation, pressing down on the area between the anus and the scrotum with your fingers (or have your partner do it) will conjest the flow of fluid, as this is the path it takes to get to your penis.
Stop and Go (kind of like a sexier game of redlight greenlight)
Before getting too close to climax, pull out, and do other things that she will enjoy. This allows you to last longer, while still getting her closer to climax herself. This will also increase the amount of ejaculation fluids that you expel.
Finally, contract your muscle
located around your testicles, penis and anus are your pelvic floor muscles, also called the pubococcygeus (PC muscle). By contracting these muscles and letting go, you will have more solid erections and be better able to control your ejaculation.
You must keep your PC muscle in top shape in order to have the maximum sexual experience (women, this goes for you too!) The next time you urinate, try to staunch the flow midway by contracting these muscles. If you can't, then you need to start exercising it. The great thing is that you can exercise anywhere, whether at work, or sitting on your couch watching TV, to laying in bed before going to sleep.
Try stopping your urine midstream 3-5 times to make sure that you know where its located. Another way is to contract the muscles while you have an erection. If your penis moves up slightly, then you've found the right set of muscles.
For a complete list of the different type of exercises to strengthen your PC muscle, go here.
Well guys, good luck in your endeavors.
20060415
Confidence In Yourself
Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit.
-E. E. Cummings
Who has confidence in himself will gain the confidence of others.
-Leib Lazarow
Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.
-Malcolm S. Forbes
Laugh at yourself, but don't ever aim your doubt at yourself. Be bold. When you embark for strange places, don't leave any of yourself safely on shore. Have the nerve to go into unexplored territory.
-Alan Alda
One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation.
-Arthur Ashe
God helps those who help themselves.
-Benjamin Franklin
Look within. Within is the fountain of good, and it will ever bubble up, if thou wilt ever dig.
-Marcus Aurelius
Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings.
-Samuel Johnson
Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.
-Golda Meir
A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.
-Robert A. Heinlein
But the real secret to total gorgeousness is to believe in yourself, have self confindence, and try to be secure in your decisions and thoughts.
-Kirsten Dunst
If you don't believe in yourself, then who will believe in you? The next man's way of getting there might not necessarily work for me, so I have to create my own ways of getting there.
-Michael Korda
It is folly for a man to pray to the gods for that which he has the power to obtain by himself.
-Epicurus
I'd go from film to film and almost detach from one world and jump in another. I was living as these people and not having a self. I didn't know who I was. And things just get really dark.
-Angelina Jolie
The only kind of dignity which is genuine is that which is not diminished by the indifference of others.
-Dag Hammarskjold
There is only one security, and when you've lost that security, you've lost everything you've got. And that is the security of confidence in yourself; to be, to create, to make any position you want to make for yourself. And when you lose that confidence, you've lost the only security you can have. ... Self-confidence is self-determinism. One's belief in one's ability to determine his own course. As long as one has that, he's got the universe in his pocket. And when he hasn't got that, not all the pearls in China nor all the grain and corn in Iowa can give him security, because that's the only security there is. (I include this, but would say that security in God is what gives self confidence)
-Billie Jean King
-E. E. Cummings
Who has confidence in himself will gain the confidence of others.
-Leib Lazarow
Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.
-Malcolm S. Forbes
Laugh at yourself, but don't ever aim your doubt at yourself. Be bold. When you embark for strange places, don't leave any of yourself safely on shore. Have the nerve to go into unexplored territory.
-Alan Alda
One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation.
-Arthur Ashe
God helps those who help themselves.
-Benjamin Franklin
Look within. Within is the fountain of good, and it will ever bubble up, if thou wilt ever dig.
-Marcus Aurelius
Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings.
-Samuel Johnson
Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.
-Golda Meir
A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.
-Robert A. Heinlein
But the real secret to total gorgeousness is to believe in yourself, have self confindence, and try to be secure in your decisions and thoughts.
-Kirsten Dunst
If you don't believe in yourself, then who will believe in you? The next man's way of getting there might not necessarily work for me, so I have to create my own ways of getting there.
-Michael Korda
It is folly for a man to pray to the gods for that which he has the power to obtain by himself.
-Epicurus
I'd go from film to film and almost detach from one world and jump in another. I was living as these people and not having a self. I didn't know who I was. And things just get really dark.
-Angelina Jolie
The only kind of dignity which is genuine is that which is not diminished by the indifference of others.
-Dag Hammarskjold
There is only one security, and when you've lost that security, you've lost everything you've got. And that is the security of confidence in yourself; to be, to create, to make any position you want to make for yourself. And when you lose that confidence, you've lost the only security you can have. ... Self-confidence is self-determinism. One's belief in one's ability to determine his own course. As long as one has that, he's got the universe in his pocket. And when he hasn't got that, not all the pearls in China nor all the grain and corn in Iowa can give him security, because that's the only security there is. (I include this, but would say that security in God is what gives self confidence)
-Billie Jean King
20060414
Relationship Quiz
I would advise against copying this and posting your answers on you're own bulletin or blog. Feel free to copy it and pass it along, but the questions are simple, so just remember your answers until the end.
Do you find your self worth in others?
Are you dating someone because youre scared to be alone?
Do you constantly worry about the future?
Are you unable to let go of the past?
Do the smallest things set you off?
Is there no passion in your voice when you speak of the person your dating (if youve been dating a while)?
Do close friends and relatives think of the person your dating as a complete ass or bimbo?
Does the person your dating consistently lie to you or in some other way abuse you?
Do you find that either you or the person youre dating gets jealous easily?
Do you fight about little things and either not apologize or refuse to forgive?
Are either of you a obsessive with control (heres what you will wear, eat, etc.)?
Are you unable to talk openly about meaningful things with the person your dating?
If you answered yes to most of these, then your relationship is unhealthy and is very likely to fail. If you arent dating, and you answered yes to most of the first 5, then you likely shouldnt start dating anytime soon. Understand that I could be wrong. This is based off of my own experience and observations. As with any rule or idea made by man, there are exceptions. This is doubly so for dealings with psychology, as people are an uncertainty to begin with.
Do you find your self worth in others?
Are you dating someone because youre scared to be alone?
Do you constantly worry about the future?
Are you unable to let go of the past?
Do the smallest things set you off?
Is there no passion in your voice when you speak of the person your dating (if youve been dating a while)?
Do close friends and relatives think of the person your dating as a complete ass or bimbo?
Does the person your dating consistently lie to you or in some other way abuse you?
Do you find that either you or the person youre dating gets jealous easily?
Do you fight about little things and either not apologize or refuse to forgive?
Are either of you a obsessive with control (heres what you will wear, eat, etc.)?
Are you unable to talk openly about meaningful things with the person your dating?
If you answered yes to most of these, then your relationship is unhealthy and is very likely to fail. If you arent dating, and you answered yes to most of the first 5, then you likely shouldnt start dating anytime soon. Understand that I could be wrong. This is based off of my own experience and observations. As with any rule or idea made by man, there are exceptions. This is doubly so for dealings with psychology, as people are an uncertainty to begin with.
20060412
Something I May Come To Regret . . .
So here's the deal. You get to ask me *3 Questions* any three questions, no matter how crazy, inappropriate, or just random, and I promise to answer them 100% truthfully. So go for it! I'll answer honestly.
1.
2.
3
1.
2.
3
*Insert Clever and Funny Title Here*
I sometimes struggle with just what to post in my blogs. This is not due to a lack of creativity on my part, but more that when I write where other people can read it, two criteria must be filled. Firstly, that what Im posting has some meaning to me. And secondly, it must be something that I dont mind a lot of people that I dont know will be reading what Ive written.
The latter of the two conditions is possibly the more tricky of the two because Im willing to share anything about myself with complete strangers. The reason for this is that in encountering other people, as in chess, I prefer to react, rather than act. I play the black pieces. And so, when someone wants to learn of me, they must first act by asking a direct question. I dont like to talk about myself often, because to me it seems like Im full of myself, and while I may make jokes that seem to the contrary, Im actually not. Another reason for this is that it places me in the correct frame of mind to let people know about myself.
In most of the relationships Ive had with women that have gone beyond that of friendship, the girl was the one who asked me out. Usually it was a girl that I didnt have a clue was interested in me as anything other than a friend. I figured if they were interested enough, theyd ask me eventually. Looking back, I realize that I likely missed out on a few dating opportunities. A few months ago in OctOgre, I took it upon myself to ask a girl out. The relationship last about two weeks. I had found out that she had lied about a few key things, and then started dating another guy. (Shes gone through a few guys at work now.) The next girl I asked out, I have regretted doing so to this day.
After her, I decidedly swore off dating forever. Forever, it turns out, lasts until March 24th, which would be the day I asked a girl I hadnt met in person to see a movie with me that I had been planning on going to. By the way, dont go see Stay Alive, wait for the rental. Afterwards, we went to IHOP and talked. She seemed even cooler in person than she did in the few written conversations that we had. And I was very relieved to find out that she wasnt some internet psycho, as Im sure she was relieved that Im not. Shes a fun person to hang out with, even if she doesnt like ice-skating. Its nice to have a girl I can hang out with without wondering whether or not shes going to take something the wrong way.
The latter of the two conditions is possibly the more tricky of the two because Im willing to share anything about myself with complete strangers. The reason for this is that in encountering other people, as in chess, I prefer to react, rather than act. I play the black pieces. And so, when someone wants to learn of me, they must first act by asking a direct question. I dont like to talk about myself often, because to me it seems like Im full of myself, and while I may make jokes that seem to the contrary, Im actually not. Another reason for this is that it places me in the correct frame of mind to let people know about myself.
In most of the relationships Ive had with women that have gone beyond that of friendship, the girl was the one who asked me out. Usually it was a girl that I didnt have a clue was interested in me as anything other than a friend. I figured if they were interested enough, theyd ask me eventually. Looking back, I realize that I likely missed out on a few dating opportunities. A few months ago in OctOgre, I took it upon myself to ask a girl out. The relationship last about two weeks. I had found out that she had lied about a few key things, and then started dating another guy. (Shes gone through a few guys at work now.) The next girl I asked out, I have regretted doing so to this day.
After her, I decidedly swore off dating forever. Forever, it turns out, lasts until March 24th, which would be the day I asked a girl I hadnt met in person to see a movie with me that I had been planning on going to. By the way, dont go see Stay Alive, wait for the rental. Afterwards, we went to IHOP and talked. She seemed even cooler in person than she did in the few written conversations that we had. And I was very relieved to find out that she wasnt some internet psycho, as Im sure she was relieved that Im not. Shes a fun person to hang out with, even if she doesnt like ice-skating. Its nice to have a girl I can hang out with without wondering whether or not shes going to take something the wrong way.
20060410
Sin
"People who sin say this: That they had to, to survive. People who sin say this: That it's too late to stop. The shadow called Sin dogs them steadily without a word. Remorse and Agony are repeated, to finally end up at Despair. But sinners don't know. . . that if they turn around, there is a light. . . a light which keeps shining on them ever so warmly."
- Vash The Stampede (Trigun)
"Sin is not hurtful because it is forbidden, but it is forbidden because it is hurtful"
- Ben Franklin
"The worst sin toward our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them; that's the essence of inhumanity"
- George Bernard Shaw
"Sin cannot tear you away from Him (Christ), even though you commit adultery a hundred times a day and commit as many murders."
- Martin Luther
"So much attention is paid to the aggressive sins, such as violence and cruelty and greed with all their tragic effects, that too little attention is paid to the passive sins, such as apathy and laziness, which in the long run can have a more devastat"
- Eleanor Roosevelt
"It is right to hate sin, but not to hate the sinner"
- Giovanni Guareschi
- Vash The Stampede (Trigun)
"Sin is not hurtful because it is forbidden, but it is forbidden because it is hurtful"
- Ben Franklin
"The worst sin toward our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them; that's the essence of inhumanity"
- George Bernard Shaw
"Sin cannot tear you away from Him (Christ), even though you commit adultery a hundred times a day and commit as many murders."
- Martin Luther
"So much attention is paid to the aggressive sins, such as violence and cruelty and greed with all their tragic effects, that too little attention is paid to the passive sins, such as apathy and laziness, which in the long run can have a more devastat"
- Eleanor Roosevelt
"It is right to hate sin, but not to hate the sinner"
- Giovanni Guareschi
20060409
Interesting Math
The probability of just one DNA arranging itself by chance has been calculated to be 1 chance in 10 to the 119,000th power.
20060406
Don't Mess With The Classics (Unless You Can Do Them Justice)
Okay, so as an April Fool's Joke, I told a friend of mine that they were remaking Gone With The Wind. Little did I know, until I googled it, that someone was indeed going to do just that.
Mark Borchardt a pot-smoking hippie (thanks Sarah) and director of American Movie, has taken it upon himself to butcher, I'm sorry, remake, an American Classic, according to this article.
From reading the article, it seems to be extremely low budget, He's casting his mom for some part. He wanted the orinal scarlet to play the role of scarlet-- but since she's dead, he's going with "Tiffany with the tattoos from Uptowner."
Okay, I'm not for remaking such a classic, but if I were to do it, I'd go with a better director, maybe Peter Jackson (who did LoTR, and is doing Halo) and have Johnny Depp play the role of Rhett Butler. I don't know who I'd get to play Scarlet, I was thinking Reba McEntire, but she's a little old for the part. Any ideas?
Mark Borchardt a pot-smoking hippie (thanks Sarah) and director of American Movie, has taken it upon himself to butcher, I'm sorry, remake, an American Classic, according to this article.
From reading the article, it seems to be extremely low budget, He's casting his mom for some part. He wanted the orinal scarlet to play the role of scarlet-- but since she's dead, he's going with "Tiffany with the tattoos from Uptowner."
Okay, I'm not for remaking such a classic, but if I were to do it, I'd go with a better director, maybe Peter Jackson (who did LoTR, and is doing Halo) and have Johnny Depp play the role of Rhett Butler. I don't know who I'd get to play Scarlet, I was thinking Reba McEntire, but she's a little old for the part. Any ideas?
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